


the strong must protect the sweet

by halobolts



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017), The LEGO Movie (2014), The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part (2019)
Genre: (a little bit), Angst, Bad End AU, Bars, Blow Jobs, Breakfast, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Domesticity, Drinking, Dubious Morality, Fights, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, I'm putting the E tag on this one because although it isn't sexy in the first chapter you will see, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kidnapping, Lego Movie Part 2 Spoilers, Lingerie, M/M, Media Savvy Rex, Negotiations, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Political Alliances, Possessive Rex, Pressure, Rex is rude and can swear, Rex's friends are better than him but not by much, SLIGHT Guro but it's only really implied, Selfcest, Sex Shop, Smut and Angst, Stockholm Syndrome, Suck it George RR Martin I have my own cursed wedding, War, Weddings, YES i put an oc in this but she's based off of an actual lego friend so, ahhh another chapter another guilt fest, and also there's some plot, and it's cool cause they're legos, and so it ends, breaking up, i make a lot of references in this one, i make some implications about grease in this one, i work out some feelings in this one :P, perhaps this is a bit fucked up but then again who am i to pretend that i understand morality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2019-10-26 02:57:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17737688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halobolts/pseuds/halobolts
Summary: bad end au for lego movie pt 2.rex kidnaps emmet. emmet tries to reconcile his positivity with the crushing realization that he's probably never going to see his friends again. rex just sort of wants to get into emmet's pants.





	1. everything is better when we stick together

**Author's Note:**

> you know why you're here.
> 
> it's actually pretty funny that this is the second "chris pratt movie bad end kidnapping au" i've written.
> 
> have a nice read!

“Lucy?” Emmet’s eyes widened from his prone position. 

 

The smug smile of Rex Dangervest: Professional Waterslide Designer, SoundCloud Music Maker, and Alternate Version Of Emmet That Was All Jaded, loomed over. “Nope,” he said. 

 

“Rex, help me!” was all Emmet could think to cry. 

 

Surprisingly, Rex squatted down. He ran a hand through Emmet’s hair, messing up the perfectly coiffed hairdo that he himself had styled earlier. “I tried to, baby boy. I really tried to.”

 

“Wh– what?” 

 

“And I am so sorry,” continued Rex. 

 

“Okay, DOUBLE wh– what?!” Emmet exclaimed. “I thought you were going to leave me here for a couple of years! And I would be rescued by Lucy, and we would convince you to change your evil ways! This is not how I thought this adventure would end!”

 

Rex slung his backpack to the ground. “That’s growing up, Emmet. I’m afraid I’m not the evildoer that you want me to be.” 

 

“So… you’re good, then?” Emmet asked.

 

“Oh, honey,” Rex said, his hand brushing across Emmet’s cheek. “I’m  _ awesome.” _

 

“Great!” Emmet exclaimed. “Then, uh, could you help me up?”

 

“I’ve realized,” continued Rex, turning to search through his backpack, “that leaving you under here isn’t the way to make you like me.”

 

“Well, uh, yeah,” Emmet stammered. He wanted to say  _ ‘DUH!’ _ but that probably wasn’t a good idea.

 

Rex slammed a first aid kit from his bag onto the floor. “Intense psychological conditioning is!” he said with a big smile on his face.

 

“WHAT?!” Emmet yelled. He tried to back up, but his arms were still stuck at his sides.

 

“Yeah, it’s perfect, right? It’s a tried-and-true way of putting an edgy spin on things!” Rex opened the first aid kit. “You live with me on my ship, I protect that cute face of yours from getting all bruised up by the real world, and together, we roam the universe together as partners in crime.” Rex spun around and punched the air, laughing a really cool, triumphant laugh.

 

Emmet laughed too, awkwardly. “Heh, uh, see… Rex… I’m not sure I want to come with you.”

 

“You’re adorable,” Rex told him. “That’s what the intense psychological conditioning is for. But first, we have to get you back to my ship! That’s what the first aid kit is for!”

 

“Wait, I didn’t know that we become a doctor! That’s not… that cool.”

 

“I’m a BATTLE doctor, baby!” Rex said with a smile. “Super badass.” At Emmet’s shocked face, he added, “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you all the swear words. This isn’t rated PG anymore. But first, I’ve gotta relieve you of your legs.”

 

“HOLY MOLY!” Emmet screamed. He strained desperately, but only succeeded in inching back a couple of millimeters.

 

“Relax, relax,” said Rex. “They’ll just pop off, and I can put them back on whenever I want to! I just need a way to make sure you won’t run away.” He smiled a blinding smile.

 

“Everything you say is just more and more upsetting!”

 

“I know it seems that way,” Rex said, faux-sympathetically. “But soon you’ll see that I want what’s best for you. So I’m going to inject you with a mild sedative, just so you don’t panic too much for the next few hours–”

 

“WAIT!” Emmet cried, in a last-ditch attempt. “If I don’t stay under here, then won’t you cease to exist?? Because of time travel paradoxes?”

 

Rex laughed. “You’re so naively cute. We’re two separate figures, see? We’re made of different parts. There’s some alternate reality bullshit that I’m not sure I really understand, but the upside is that since I was the one to operate the time machine, I get to survive paradox-free. My entire universe was destroyed, but I don’t care. This’ll do just fine.” He pulled a syringe out of the first aid and tapped it to Emmet’s neck.

 

“REX!” Emmet screamed. Rex roughly slapped a hand over Emmet’s eyes and pressed the plunger on the syringe down, sending the sedative into his body.

 

“There we go,” Rex purred, directly into Emmet’s ear. “So good for me, aren’t you baby? Screaming my name, and I haven’t even started with you yet.”

 

Emmet heard him, but his body couldn’t react. Rex kept his hand over his eyes, as he busied himself with Emmet’s legs. Emmet felt nothing, besides a heaviness behind his eyes and a sense of existential dread.

 

After some time, Rex removed his hand. Emmet turned away, not wanting to look at his lower body being held hostage by Rex’s backpack. Rex swung his backpack back onto his back and swept Emmet up into his arms.

 

As they walked out from under Dry-ar, Emmet, in his fugue state, swore he could hear Rex singing softly.

 

“ _ Everything is awesome...when I’m living my dream! _ ”


	2. side by side you and i

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex and Emmet share an intimate moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE NIGHT FUCK YEAH

Emmet woke up on Rex’s ship, which was not that much of a surprise. What  _ was  _ a surprise was that he wasn’t in a dungeon somewhere.

 

He was in a king-sized bed, in a room that was, to put it plainly, the coolest bedroom he had ever seen. The walls were covered in posters for movies with weird titles, like “Fight Club” and “Back to the Future,” picturing attractive brunette men who seemed ready for adventure. A peek into Rex’s open closet showed an array of suits, leather jackets, and vests. Even the frame of the bed was a realistic racecar.

 

Hesitantly, Emmet pulled the blanket covering him up to see what was left of his legs.

 

And screamed.

 

Rex burst in through the door, knocking it off its hinges. “WHAT’S WRONG?!” he barked, cocking a gun.

 

“MY LEGS!” Emmet yelled. “My legs are...totally fine?” He looked down again, just to make sure. His legs were, indeed, totally fine. He wiggled them, just to make sure.

 

Rex breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god. I thought something had actually happened.” He closed the door behind him. 

 

“I don’t understand!” Emmet exclaimed. “I thought you were going to steal my legs!”

 

“What, like in  _ Misery?”  _ Rex asked.

 

“What’s  _ Misery?” _

 

“It’s a really cool horror movie. I’ll show it to you sometime, when this memory is… less fresh.” Rex beamed. “But no! I just took your legs off for transportation! I figured you’d want them back to explore your new home!” 

 

Ah. So Rex was still kidnapping him. Cool. Cool…

 

“Rex,” Emmet tried. “I’m really thankful that you, uh,  _ rescued  _ me, but I need to find Lucy and the others. They’re probably worried sick!”

 

“Oh, no they’re not,” Rex replied. “So why don’t you just  _ calm down  _ and  _ accept what’s happening?”  _ The threat was underlying in his voice. Emmet let out a soft whimper, and Rex’s face melted. “Aww, baby, hold on.”

 

Rex climbed into his super-cool-racecar-king bed, next to Emmet, and wrapped his arms around the slightly smaller man, pulling them into a spooning position. “Did I scare you? Do you need me to hold you and make you feel better?”

 

Emmet squirmed. “Rex, I’m not sure–”

 

“Oh, hush,” said Rex, cutting him off and tightening his grip. “How long has it been since you’ve been held?”

 

Emmet felt an involuntary shiver travel up his spine. It  _ had  _ been a while… but that was just because he was living in a wasteland! When everyone you loved was trying to survive and keep up a gritty aesthetic, that didn’t leave a lot of cuddling time for Emmet.

 

Sensing his thoughts, Rex crooned into his ear, “I bet it must have gotten lonely in Apocalypsburg, huh? I know how that feels. I was stuck under Dry-ar for five years. What I would have given for someone to hold me like this…” He trailed off, and pressed a kiss to the back of Emmet’s neck. 

 

“Um… did you just kiss me?”

 

“Mmm,” Rex hummed in affirmation. 

 

“Isn’t that kinda weird? With you being an alternate me and whatnot?”

 

“Nah.” Rex turned Emmet’s face towards his. “It’s a complex metaphor for trying to keep imagination and innocence alive in the face of burgeoning sexuality as one slips into adulthood.” And then he kissed him. On the lips.

 

Emmet and Lucy had kissed before, but chastely– a quick brush of lips against lips, enough to send Emmet into a lovestruck flutter and Lucy into a confident swagger. Other than that, they had just held hands, and that was enough. Or, at least, Emmet had  _ thought  _ that that was enough. Until now, when Rex Dangervest, Kissing Extraordinaire, was slipping his tongue into Emmet’s mouth with the subtlety of Sherlock Holmes, the tenderness of a non-threatening teen vampire, and the ferocity of a starving Unikitty. Dang, Emmet was bad at metaphors. But could you blame him??

 

Rex pulled back and smirked at him. “My innocent little Emmet. Was that your first kiss?”

 

“No!” exclaimed Emmet. He reconsidered. “Well, no. But, uh, first kiss like that? Definitely. Where did you learn that?”

 

“All cool guys know how to kiss passionately,” said Rex. “Preferably while swinging from a grappling hook with their love interest in their arms, but I’ll take one out of two.”

 

“Uh…” Emmet didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead he said, “Rex, could you shift a bit? You’re poking me, like, right in the butt.”

 

“Mmm,” Rex shifted, so he was being poked  _ more  _ in the butt. “Can’t help it, you’re too cute.”

 

“Wh–” Emmet got out exactly one syllable before he realized what was going on. “Is that your  _ erection? _ ”

 

“Correct,” husked Rex. “You’re still a virgin, right?”

 

“Well, yea-AH!” Emmet cut himself off, as Rex buried his mouth into the crook between Emmet’s neck and shoulder. “Ohhh….” Emmet let out, as Rex’s hands worked up under his shirt to massage his nipples.

 

“You like that, baby boy?” Rex said, before diving back in to bite at Emmet’s neck. “You like that?”

 

“Ye-ess, Rex, but–!” Emmet felt his own erection stiffen. “But I don’t know that we should do this!”

 

“Shhhh,” Rex hushed, one hand dipping into Emmet’s pants as the other stroked his nipple. “Just let Daddy help you.”

 

_ Daddy?  _ The word, calling  _ Rex  _ that word, sent shivers through Emmet as Rex wrapped his hand around the base of Emmet’s cock. Rex began to stroke, long and oddly sweet, as his own erection ground up between Emmet’s thighs.

 

Rex shoved his face into Emmet’s neck again and mouthed, stroking faster as Emmet became undone in his arms. The grinding became faster too, and Emmet delusionally wondered if Rex would start a fire with the friction. After all this, it wouldn’t surprise him.

 

“Am I making you feel good?” Rex said breathlessly. “Say it. Say it.”

 

“I feel so good!” Emmet gave in.

 

“Who do you belong to?” 

 

“You!” Emmet couldn’t ponder the use of pronouns to most accurately describe his alternate self, especially not when said alternate self was so close to making him cum.

 

“Say my name!” 

 

“Rex!” With one last stroke, Emmet screwed his eyes shut as he fell forward into orgasm. Rex gave one last stroke with his clothed cock and followed suit, clutching Emmet on top of his erection.

 

When Emmet’s mind cleared, Rex was removing his hand from his cock. Emmet whimpered.

 

“Ha, you little slut,” Rex laughed at him. “You need another round so soon?”

 

“So, that was sex?” Emmet propped himself up on one elbow. So did Rex, ensuring that he was still looming over Emmet.

 

Rex laughed at him again. “No. In grown-up terms, that was ‘messing around.’  _ Trust  _ me, before I take your virginity I’m gonna get really ceremonial about it.”

 

Emmet had about five seconds to ponder that one over before Rex was standing up and stretching. “But before any of that, baby, let’s get some calories in our bodies. Get to know each other a little better, prepare for round two, that sorta thing. I had the raptors prepare us breakfast.”

 

“Oh, uh…” As with many things that had happened today, Emmet had no idea how to feel about this. “Thanks?”

 

“No problem, babe. You go get dressed, okay? Your side of the closet is the right side, and I have some clothes for you, but if you want to wear my stuff, that’s okay too. I’ll go check on breakfast, and whenever you’re ready, one of my raptors will bring you to the breakfast nook!” Rex winked at him, and then the door shut behind him.

 

Emmet sat a moment, and then made himself smile. This was fine! Not awesome, but, uh, fine. Fine. Fine! 

 

He willed himself not to think about the intense orgasm that he and Rex had just shared, and got up out of bed to see what sort of clothing was available.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave your kudos...and let me know how i did? like i said, input and random screaming will inspire me to write chapter three (also i'm very inexperienced at smut orz so lmk on that too)


	3. we're the same (i'm like you, you're like me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex and Emmet have breakfast together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We, as a community, need to come up with a universal ship name for this couple, so that I can easily find content for this on Tumblr. Personally, I'm going to use Remmex, cause I like how it sounds.
> 
> Songs for this fic (so far) are Starstruck by Katy Perry and 30H3 and Waves by Electric Guest. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The clothing that Rex had left for Emmet consisted of the following:

 

  1. An eight-pack of white t-shirts, from Octan.
  2. One pair of jeans.
  3. Three pairs of underpants. 
  4. His own Rex Dangervest™ vest.



 

Emmet wasn’t normally that choosy when it came to his clothes, but he definitely needed something more. Pajamas, at the very least. He wasn’t going to sleep in jeans, like some sort of animal. 

 

Emmet shrugged on a white shirt and jeans. He contemplated on the Rex Dangervest™️ brand vest, but decided against it in favor of his own trusty safety vest. He needed his safety orange, after all! Rex’s blue might be good for space camouflage (or something equally cool), but Emmet preferred being bright and noticeable, thank you very much!

 

He opened up the door, where a raptor greeted him. “Oh, hi!” Emmet exclaimed. The raptor brayed a hello back, and nosed Emmet toward its back. Emmet clumsily climbed on, wrapping both arms around the dinosaur’s neck. The raptor reared back, and then galloped down the hall, leaving Emmet clutching on for dear life. 

 

Because of the aforementioned death-clutch, Emmet did not observe much as they streamed through halls and down stairs, inside a tunnel and down a fire pole, directly into a cute little kitchenette with an attached breakfast nook. 

 

“Ah, my Emmet!” Rex exclaimed, turning around. The genuine joy in his voice was startling. He was wearing an apron with a cartoon salt-and-pepper pattern, and he was holding a plate piled high with waffles. Even his morning stubble and eye bags were attractive! Emmet had no idea what had happened to Rex during those five years under Dry-ar, but clearly there was some sort of handsomeness magic involved. There had to be, right? Emmet didn’t look that rugged. 

 

“Hi, Rex,” he said, managing a smile. Rex offered a hand to help him off of the raptor’s back, but Emmet decided he could just slide off on his own. 

 

“How do you take your coffee?” Rex asked, putting down the plate and picking up a coffee pot and a cat mug. “Wait, let me see if I remember.” He furrowed his brow. “Creamer and...twenty-five sugars?”

 

“Pretty close!” Emmet said. “How do you take it?”

 

“Creamer and no sugar.” Rex flashed a smile. “Cool guys drink their coffee black, but it’s too bitter for me like that.” He dumped half the bowl of sugar into Emmet’s cup, poured in the coffee, and finished it up with a splash of creamer. 

 

Emmet accepted the cup gracefully. “Thank you.”

 

“I don’t remember all that much about my food preferences pre-Dry-ar,” admitted Rex, scratching the back of his neck. “So I just had the raptors make waffles. You like waffles, right?”

 

“Yeah!” Emmet cheered, before catching himself. “I mean...yeah. I like waffles fine.” He couldn’t expose himself too emotionally here. He was being held hostage. By himself. Holding himself hostage? Ah! Pronouns were difficult!

 

Rex shot him a knowing wink, and placed a hand on the small of Emmet’s back. “Come on, my dearest, let’s eat!” He guided Emmet to one of the chairs at the little table. A raptor delivered a waffle to him, steaming hot, with syrup already on it. 

 

Rex turned back to the fridge. “Do you want a mimosa too, Emmet?”

 

“What’s a mimosa?”

 

Even with his back to him, Emmet could still see Rex frown. “Oh, right, you haven’t started– Never mind. I’ll just get you some orange juice, okay?”

 

“Uh, okay?” Rex reappeared after a moment, holding two glasses of orange juice in fancy glasses. One of them was bubbly, which Rex took for himself. The non-bubbly one went to Emmet. 

 

Emmet cut off a piece of his waffle. “Um, Rex, I’m not sure how to ask this, but–“

 

“No, you can’t leave,” Rex said firmly. 

 

Emmet fidgeted. “Right… not what I was going to ask, but thanks for the reiteration?”

 

“Oh,” Rex visibly relaxed. He dug into his waffle. “What do you need, then, hon?”

 

“More clothes?” Emmet asked. “Or at least some PJs, if you have an extra pair. I mean, thank you for the shirts and stuff–“

 

“Say no more.” Rex waved a hand, cutting him off. “I don’t really remember your fashion sense, so we can pick some stuff out together soon.”

 

“ _ Our  _ fashion sense?” Emmet said. 

 

“Your, our, whatever,” Rex laughed. “Pronouns are fucking confusing with us. Me.  _ Fuck.” _

 

“ _ Woah! _ ” Emmet gasped. “What is that word?”

 

“Fuck?” Rex took a bite of waffle and smiled. “You don’t know swear words, Emmet?”

 

“I mean…” Emmet considered it. “I know heck, and darn. Those are swear words, right?”

 

Rex chuckled. “Those are little kid swear words. Fuck is a  _ real  _ swear word.”

 

“What does it mean?” Emmet took another sip of his coffee.

 

“Uh… sex, mostly. But it can also be, like, an expression of anger. Like, say you dropped a plate on the ground, and it shattered. What would you say?”

 

“Probably  _ ‘oh, dang! _ ’” Emmet answered.

 

“Right, but in order to be grown up, instead of saying  _ ‘dang,’  _ you’d say  _ ‘oh, fuck,’ _ or  _ ‘oh shit. _ ’

 

Emmet wrinkled his nose and took a bite. “Ha, that’s kinda weird.”

 

“Say it. Say fuck.” Rex put down his fork. 

 

“Why?”

 

Rex shrugged. “I don’t know. Just kinda want to hear you say a swear word. Say fuck.”

 

“Ffff–“ Emmet tried. “Fffffrick.”

 

“No,  _ fuck _ ,” Rex corrected. 

 

“Ffff–“ Emmet sighed. “It’s not going to happen.”

 

“Maybe you could try it in a sentence?” suggested Rex.

 

“Al...right?”

 

“Repeat after me,” Rex commanded. “ _ Rex, I want you to fuck me into the mattress.” _

 

Emmet blushed. “Rex, I want you to–“ He covered his face. “I can’t say that!”

 

Rex laughed, and Emmet hesitantly joined in. Rex leaned against his hand and grinned at Emmet. “You’re adorable. I’m so happy I have Emmet back with me.”

 

It was a weird turn of phrase, but Emmet tried not to let his discomfort show on his face as he crammed the last bite of waffle in his mouth. “Sorry I couldn’t say it.”

 

“It’s okay. Good practice for  _ later _ .” Rex wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “You tried for me, and that’s what’s important. Don’t worry, I love you no matter how much you don’t swear.”

 

“And you… really love me, huh?” Emmet couldn’t quite wrap his head around this obsession. Was it narcissistic? Or were they really two different people at this point?

 

“Emmet, I love you more than I love anything else, including vests, coffee, and the punk rock remix of ‘Everything is Awesome.’ If I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do. I might cry, which is saying something. But I’d get you back eventually, because you’re a part of my life that I don’t ever intend to lose again.” All traces of a smile were gone from Rex’s face. The man was dead serious.

 

“Alright,” Emmet replied. “Can I have another waffle?”

 

Just as quickly as it had appeared, all traces of broodiness disappeared from Rex’s face. “Of course, hon! Let me get that for you.” He pushed his chair out, drained both his mimosa and his coffee, and stood up. 

 

The moment Rex turned his back, Emmet sighed. It wouldn’t be good for anyone if Rex got into a mood. He was sort of being held hostage by a deranged version of himself, after all. Just because Rex thought he was special and loved him and enjoyed his company didn’t mean he couldn’t lose his legs again if he said the wrong thing. Even if Rex made him feel… 

 

Emmet’s head hit the table. Rex slammed down the plate with the waffle onto the counter and raced over. “Babe, are you alright? Fuck, fuck,  _ shit!” _

 

“I’m dizzy,” Emmet mumbled, keeping his head on the table. 

 

Above him, he heard Rex say, “Whew! Thought I fucked up the dosage! That’s totally normal, don’t worry.”

 

“Wha’djya...how’djya–“ Emmet slurred. 

 

“The sugar in your coffee is  _ how _ ,” Rex said. He looped an arm around Emmet’s waist and pulled him up into his arms. “There we go.” Rex walked them both into the next room over– a sort of den area– and tossed Emmet onto the couch. “And although you asked  _ what,  _ you probably meant  _ why _ . The answer to that is that I’m warping out of the Systar System, and I didn’t want you to fuck any of the machinery up in an ill-advised attempt to get back to those a-holes who abandoned you.” He loomed over Emmet.

 

“You kin’nappe’ me!” Emmet protested. 

 

“I  _ was  _ you. I know what’s best. Stop trying to fight me.” Rex’s tone was dead, utterly devoid of emotion. He was scarier than Emmet ever thought he would be. Was going to be? Pronouns. “I’m going to go warp the ship. I’ll be back in a bit, and then we’ll watch some  _ Where Are My Pants _ , okay, Em?” Emmet flinched at the nickname, and Rex sighed, and walked out of Emmet’s field of view.

  
Emmet squeezed his eyes shut as Rex’s boots clacked away. He wished, feverishly, that Lucy would come to save them. To save them  _ both. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me on Tumblr! My url is halobolts, and since my blog is still fairly new feel free to tag me in any cool Lego Movie/Remmex posts! 
> 
> Kudos and comments always appreciated, although comments are appreciated a bit more because my whole day gets brightened when I get the email alert.
> 
> If someone makes fanart for this fic, I will dedicate a chapter to you/let you pick a prompt/link to your art. Please.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. some brand new pants, a very old vest (awesome items are the best!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex and Emmet go clothes shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to these tumblr users, for their amazing fanart of this fic!! 
> 
> \- @kirbypegasister (https://halobolts.tumblr.com/post/182813931739/sup-i-love-this-fic-a-lot-and-i-wanted-to)  
> \- @blazingscarlettigrelily (https://halobolts.tumblr.com/post/182797912979/blazingscarlettigrelily-a-little-something-for)  
> \- @askbrupersonalblog2 (https://halobolts.tumblr.com/post/182797032699/this-is-a-part-of-a-fanfic-about-rex-keeping-emmet) 
> 
> Go check them out, give them a reblog!! I'm so honored to have my fanfic drawn!!
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day!

“Honey, I’m home!” Rex sang, bursting into the TV room.

 

Emmet looked up. He had been on Rex’s ship, orbiting the Fynzruum Cluster, for a week, and he was  _ bored.  _ There wasn’t much to do besides watch TV, play with the raptors, and explore the non-Euclidean geography of the ship. Even though non-Euclidean geography was Emmet’s favorite, it was still scary when he had stepped out of the shower and off of a precipice (saved only by a quick-acting raptor and the use of his towel as a parachute). The raptors eventually got tired of his attempts to engage them, and there were only so many times he could watch Season 40 of  _ Honey, Where Are My Pants  _ in a row.

 

Rex had been in and out– jetpacking off in the mornings, and coming back dirty and tired in the late afternoons to spend the evening preparing dinner and showering Emmet with affection. Emmet hated to admit it, but it was kind of nice. Unlike Apocalypsburg, life on the ship made sense. Emmet was even beginning to look forward to Rex’s returns home. Batman would probably call that pathetic. Emmet had no idea what Lucy would call it. 

 

“Hi, Rex,” Emmet said, smiling softly. Rex walked behind the couch and wrapped his arms around Emmet’s neck.

 

“Hey, Emmy.” He pressed a kiss to the crown of Emmet’s head. 

 

“How was work?” Emmet only knew a little bit about Rex’s work, but it seemed like standard Adventure Cool Guy fare– finding treasure chests, retrieving stolen things, wearing cowboy boots. 

 

Rex catapulted over the back of the couch to crash into a lying position next to Emmet. “Had to retrieve some rich dude’s chalice. Why all these fucking rich dudes keep getting their heirlooms stolen is beyond me.” He moved his head into Emmet’s lap. 

 

“And?”

 

“And I missed you,” Rex said genuinely, staring up at him. 

 

“Aww.” Emmet had to smile at that. 

 

“But I didn’t miss THIS PAYDAY!” Rex hollered, pulling out an envelope. Emmet recoiled. 

 

“Jeez, Rex. Volume.”

 

Red blinked. “Sorry. But we’ll be good for a while! And I thought that we could get you some clothes today!”

 

“Oh!” That was good news. Emmet was on his last plain white t-shirt. 

 

“So where do you want to go?” asked Rex. 

 

Emmet shrugged. “I don’t really know where anything is here. You choose.”

 

Rex grabbed his hand and laced his fingers through Emmet’s. “There are cool places all over Fynzruum. Just choose one, tough guy. We could go to Suc Culent, or Bædwal Alley. There’s C’asp’lay Canal, or Hammper, or Hiddnstache. What do you think?”

 

Emmet tapped his chin with his free hand. He definitely didn’t want to go into any alleys, but he knew absolutely nothing about the other places. But Rex was staring up at him. “The canal?”

 

Rex sat up, and grasped one of Emmet’s hands with both of his. “Say it more forcefully!”

 

“The canal!” Emmet repeated. 

 

Rex whooped and dropped Emmet’s hand. “Way to go, Em! C’asp’lay Canal, here we come!” He pressed a chaste kiss to Emmet’s lips. Instinctively, Emmet raised an arm to wipe it off. Rex’s face dropped. “Why did you do that?”

 

“What?” For a moment, it didn’t register what Rex was talking about. “Oh,” Emmet said. “I don’t know. Force of habit?”

 

“Don’t do that with me.” The sour look on Rex’s face remained for a second, and then disappeared when Rex clapped Emmet on the shoulder. “Come on! Let’s go!”

 

  * ••



 

The Canal reminded Emmet of a smaller, homier Bricksburg. Well-maintained storefronts were separated from each other by lampposts and flowers. Minifigures, Friends, and even the occasional Duplo passed them on the sidewalk.

 

Rex held Emmet’s hand as they strolled. To the outside observer, they might have seemed like a normal couple, who had a meet cute in a coffee shop rather than in an asteroid field with the aid of time travel. For his own sanity, Emmet tried to forget his situation and enjoy the day. He had no idea what Rex was thinking. For all Emmet knew, Rex was getting off on it. 

 

Rex pulled them into a large clothing store, aptly called CLOTHING STORE, and instructed Emmet to pick out whatever he wanted. “My money is your money, baby, and besides, I kinda feel bad for keeping you cooped up in the ship all week.” 

 

Hesitantly, Emmet took the lead in the store, with Rex trailing behind. He picked out jeans, graphic t-shirts, button downs, underwear, and socks. To Rex’s credit, he liked a lot of the stuff Emmet picked out on his own (although that might have had something to do with them being alternate versions of each other). It was nice to have someone who liked his style. Not that Lucy and Batman and Benny hadn’t liked his style, of course! They, along with the rest of Apocalypsburg, had just opted to go for a grittier aesthetic than he did. 

 

Although Rex glared at some of the other patrons of the store (like the LEGO Friend who was practically dragging a poor worker around with her), he was ultimately very cordial. He insisted, however, on helping Emmet pick out a swimsuit, a formal suit and tie, and a bomber jacket. “You can embroider stuff on it!” he said excitedly. “I have supplies back on the ship!”

 

It was the first time Emmet had seen Rex express a passion that seemed genuine. 

 

  * ••



 

After checking out, Emmet and Rex strolled down the canal, hand in hand. The water was dirty and brown, but their reflections were still visible. 

 

“I want boba,” Emmet expressed. Rex jolted, seemingly out of deep thought. 

 

“Sure, hon,” Rex said. “But can we make a stop first?”

 

Emmet didn’t see a problem with that, although he had thought the trip was  _ only  _ to get him new clothes. “Uh, sure?” At Emmet’s acquiescence, Rex smiled and broke into a run, dragging Emmet behind him. It was all Emmet could do to keep his arm attached to him. 

 

Rex led him to a tiny shop, in between a café and a laundromat. The front windows were blocked off by curtains, and the sign above read  _ CANAL ADDRESSMENTS.  _ It was an ambiguous name, to be sure, but some of the confusion was cleared up by the neon signs in front of the curtains: flashing hearts and sexily-posed figures. 

 

Emmet played with his fingers. “A sex shop?” 

 

Rex turned around and did jazz hands. “A sex shop! They’re from Hiddnstache originally, but they just opened up this branch!”

 

Emmet opened his mouth and said, “Right. I don’t know what to say to you about this situation, so I’m just going to ramble on and on and hope you sorta get my gist since we’re the same person, and you  _ should  _ get my gist because–“

 

Thankfully, Rex cut him off. “You’re intimidated. By me or by the store?”

 

“Yeah, by the store,” Emmet admitted. Rex  _ did  _ intimidate him, but in a much more confusing way. “I mean, kind of? It’s not like I’ve never seen a sex shop before–“

 

“There were sex shops in Apocalypsburg and Bricksburg,” Rex filled in. 

 

“–I’ve just never  _ been  _ in one before,” Emmet finished. 

 

“Well, consider this going out of your comfort zone then, tough guy,” Rex said. “It’ll be a good experience for both of us.”

 

“I don’t know–“

 

“ _ Besides _ ,” Rex continued. “I just got all that stuff for you. Shouldn’t I get something for me, too?”

 

Oh. Emmet didn’t know that Rex had wanted to shop for himself. He had assumed– “Yeah, alright.”

 

Rex was already pushing the door open. “Great! Come on in, baby!”

 

Emmet followed Rex into the shop. It was lit with fairy lights, and was decorated more like a trendy boutique than anything. That was, of course, provided you ignored the displays of dildos. And the racks of lingerie. And the whips on the walls. 

 

The girl seated behind the counter was reading a magazine, but she looked up when Rex and Emmet entered. She was a LEGO Friend, with short hair. A streak of her bangs was naturally colored pink (which made Emmet think of  _ Lucy,  _ with a pang), but the rest of her blonde hair had been colored over by green, blue, and pink highlighters. She wore a crop top and an army green vest, paired with a black skirt and thigh highs. 

 

“What’s up?” she said casually. 

 

While Rex had been silent in the CLOTHING STORE, here he grinned and said, “Not much! It’s our first time in here.” He held up Emmet’s hand in his to emphasize this. 

 

The minidoll grinned. “I figured. Your boyfriend looks a little nervous.” Emmet let go of Rex to hide his face in his hands.  _ Boyfriend?  _ Were they boyfriends??????? They had not had this conversation! Emmet wouldn’t even know how to approach this conversation!

 

She continued. “I’m Chloe. I work here most weekday evenings.”

 

Rex shook her hand. “The name’s Rex. And my  _ boyfriend  _ is Emmet.” Emmet could hear the title drip out of Rex’s mouth. 

 

“Nice to meet you boys. Anything in particular you’re looking for?” Chloe asked. 

 

“Lube, definitely,” Rex said. “I want Emmet to enjoy his first time as much as possible, you know? Oh, and maybe a vibrator, if you have any recommendations. Babe?” He nudged Emmet. “What do you think about a vibrator?”

 

Emmet did not remove his face from his hands. “ _ Rex.” _

 

Unfazed, Rex said, “He’s shy. We’re working on it.”

 

“Aww,” Chloe said. “My girlfriend used to be like that, a total prude, but she’s totally come around. I helped her bring out her kinky side, you know?”

 

“Perfect,” said Rex. “You know what you’re doing, then.”

 

“I don’t!” Emmet practically yelped. 

 

“So go look at the lingerie, sweetheart, and let me and Rex take care of things,” Chloe said. There was something artificial and patronizing in her tone that Emmet found he didn’t like. I mean, Rex seemed to like her, so she couldn’t be all bad, but still. 

 

“Ooh, good idea!” Rex said. “Pick something I’d like, baby.”

 

Emmet moved over to the racks of lingerie as Rex and Chloe began to debate lube brands emphatically. His fingers skirted over leather bustiers and corsets in varying styles and sizes. He was so far out of his comfort zone, it wasn’t even funny. But Rex was the most excited he’d been all day, and Emmet didn’t want to take that away from him. Even if Rex was excited about future sex…

 

Emmet’s hand got caught on one of the buckles of one of the corset, and he pulled it back with a soft hiss. Rex and Chloe looked up from the products in front of them. 

 

“Babe, you okay?” Rex asked. 

 

Emmet nodded. “Just snagged on a buckle.”

 

Rex laughed softly, and Chloe smiled, showing off a dimple. “I’m not sure leather is really your speed.”

 

Chloe pointed to a rack in the back. “The lacy shit is back there.” 

 

Although they were both right, Emmet’s face burned, and he walked as quickly as he could to the lacy rack.  _ None  _ of this stuff was his speed! Rex knew that! It felt like both of them were laughing at his inexperience. 

 

He thumbed through the sea of pink and white uninterestedly. And was he picking out lingerie for Rex? He hadn’t pegged Rex as the lingerie type! Much less the lacy lingerie type. 

 

Did he know  _ anyone  _ that was the lacy lingerie type? Lucy and him hadn’t ever had sex, but she seemed like she was too practical for...all of this. And, sure, he had thought about a lot of his friends like this before– he was bisexual, and a mess besides– but not this in-depth. Quite against his own will, images of Batman, Lucy, Benny, and Bad Cop swam in his mind. 

 

“Hey!” Rex said from behind him. Emmet gave a short scream and fell back.

 

“You surprised me!” Emmet exclaimed. 

 

Rex laughed and offered a hand, which Emmet took. “Sorry, babe. Find anything you like?”

 

Emmet let Rex pull him to his feet. “Not really. I’m honestly not sure what you’d like.”

 

“Oh, try anything,” Rex said casually. “As long as it’s you wearing it, I promise I’ll like it.”

 

“ _ What?”  _ Emmet whispered in shock. “I thought you wanted to wear it!”

 

“Why would you think that?” Rex asked. 

 

“You said you wanted to get ‘something for you,’ not something for me!”

 

“Yeah,” Rex said plainly. “Lingerie for you is something for me.”

 

Emmet wanted to hide his face in his hands again, but Rex grabbed his wrists. “I don’t know, Rex. I’ve never–“

 

“ _ I know _ ,” Rex hummed. He pulled a hanger off of the rack. “Just try this on for me, won’t you, Emmy?”

 

“Changing room is in the back,” said Chloe from the front desk. 

 

“I’ll check out while you get changed, okay?” Rex said it so confidently, like that solved everything. Reluctantly, Emmet took the hanger from him, and began walking to the changing room. Rex smiled at him brightly. 

 

Emmet pulled the curtain to the changing room closed, and slowly took off his shirt and jeans. He let them drop to the ground, and stared at himself in his underwear in the mirror. A little too chubby in the waist, a little too chubby in the cheeks. He poked his face.  _ Definitely  _ not ruggedly handsome. 

 

He turned his attention, instead, to the hanger. The lingerie was white and lacy– a bralette with panties, a garter belt, and thigh-high stockings. He sort of wanted to curl up, but for Rex’s sake he slipped the bralette over his shoulders and onto his chest. It was made for men, clearly, so it sat snug on him. Emmet kicked off his boxers and replaced them with the panties, and then put the garter belt on over that. He put the stockings on one at a time, balancing on one foot, and hooked them to the belt. 

 

Emmet stared at his figure in the mirror. The outfit was form-fitting, and the white lace made him look almost stereotypically angelic. He brushed his bangs to the side, behind his ear. He was feminine, but not in a scary way. In a way that he felt he had some control over. In a way that...he sort of liked. 

 

He heard Red whistle, long and low, from behind him. Emmet turned to look over his shoulder. Rex brushed past the curtain to join Emmet. He set the store bag down on the ground, and walked over to wrap his arms around Emmet’s waist. 

 

“My, my, what a pretty picture  _ you  _ make,” he drawled. 

 

Emmet hugged his shoulders. “Shut up,” he murmured. 

 

Rex rested his chin on Emmet’s shoulder. “Why? It’s true. Shouldn’t I be honest?”

 

“I– I guess? Or– I don’t know.” Emmet didn’t understand why Rex was able to  _ fluster  _ him so much. 

 

“You’re cute when you stutter,” said Rex lowly. Emmet could feel Rex’s cock, hard against his leg. He really  _ was  _ getting off on this. 

 

Rex kissed Emmet’s neck, and Emmet tilted his head to the side to give him better access. All of a sudden, Emmet was spun around and slammed against the mirror. 

 

“You’re driving me wild, baby boy,” Rex growled. His eyes were pits of animalistic lust. “We’re gonna buy this. We have to. And we’re going to go home, and you’re going to wear this for me, and I’m gonna fuck you so hard that all you’ll be able to say is ‘ _ please, Rex,’  _ when I ask you if you want to cum again. Does that sound good to you?”

 

Well. When it was put like that? “ _ Yes _ ,” Emmet breathed. 

 

“Yes,  _ what?” _

 

Emmet forced himself to look Rex in the eye. “Yes,  _ Daddy. _ ”

 

Rex looked like he’d been smacked, but in a good way. He dove in and captured Emmet’s mouth in a kiss. He kissed roughly, like he had been holding back before and just suddenly decided to let loose. It was downright bruising. 

 

The force of the kiss pushed Emmet back up against the mirror, and Rex squeezed closer. Their hard-one rubbed against each other through lace and denim, sending shivers throughout Emmet–

 

“Hey!” Chloe yelled from outside. “No fucking in the dressing room!”

 

“Sorry!” Emmet called back, automatically. 

 

“I mean, you two are cute, and like, gay rights and everything, but seriously? Not here, boys,” she continued. 

 

Rex pulled back, looking disappointed. “Sorry, Chloe. I’ll let Emmet get changed.” To Emmet, he whispered, “Besides, we don’t want to get banned from here just yet.”

 

Emmet giggled, despite himself, and Rex winked, pulled back the curtain, and walked out of the changing room. Leaving Emmet a blushing mess in white lingerie. 

 

Alright, so maybe Rex had been right about the sex shop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, kudos and comments make my day :). I'm at halobolts.tumblr.com, and if any more talented artists decide to make art of this fic, I'll give you a shoutout!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. you know what's awesome? everything!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex and Emmet mess around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall, sorry for the delay!! i was hit by a smidge of depression, but it's not all bad! i received the screenplay for the movie adaptation of my original novella this weekend, so i'm really excited about that!! enjoy the fic!!

After jetpacking back up to the ship in Rex’s arms, Emmet was surprised when, after they had gone through the airlock, Rex pulled him in for a deep kiss. 

 

“So soon, Rex?” Emmet’s voice cracked when they finally separated. 

 

“I’m fucking tired of waiting,” Rex said shortly. 

 

“Sex shop got you riled up, huh?” Emmet teased. 

 

Rex kissed Emmet’s jawline. “ _ You  _ got me riled up. You’re still wearing your lingerie, right?”

 

“Yup.” Emmet had just put his clothes on over it after their little...escapade. 

 

“ _ Perfect.” _ Rex began walking speedily down the hallway, leaving Emmet to clutch his neck for dear life as thoughts of Rex kissing him swam through his head. 

 

When they got to the bedroom, Rex threw him onto the bed, climbed on top of Emmet, and did just that. 

 

“Mmm,” Emmet whimpered into Rex’s mouth. 

 

Rex pulled back, his knees straddling Emmet’s torso, and said, “Clothes off, now.”

 

Emmet sort of laughed. “What’s the magic word?” 

 

Rex reached down and pulled Emmet’s shirt off himself. “Please, Emmet, God.”

 

Emmet kicked off his jeans, as well, leaving him in only lingerie. Rex pulled off his shirt, and fell back on top of him. Emmet could feel Rex smile against his mouth. 

 

Emmet wrapped his arms around Rex’s back as Rex moved down to kiss his collarbone. He felt the taut muscle of Rex’s triceps and latissimus dorsis tense, and then relax under his touch.

 

“I could kiss you all damn day, baby,” Rex said roughly. 

 

“Well, hopefully not  _ all  _ day,” Emmet replied. 

 

He could hear Rex bark a short, surprised laugh. “Eager little thing, huh? Don’t tell me I’m a bad influence on you.”

 

Emmet kisses Rex’s ear, and then leaned in to whisper, “You are. But I think I like you.”

 

Rex pulled back so he was looking Emmet in the eyes. “Really?” The intensity of his gaze left Emmet only able to nod. Rex smiled, and Emmet swore that there were hearts in his eyes. “I think I like you too, honey.” He dove back down, and growled, “Now, tell  _ daddy  _ what you want.”

 

Emmet laughed, and kissed the side of Rex’s mouth. “Shut up and make love to me.”

 

“Jerk! I’m trying to be sexy!” Rex protested. But his eyes were alight, and Emmet, for a second, thought that maybe he could be comfortable here. With this. 

 

The very thought was enough to grind his libido to a halt. His grip on Rex loosened, and his eyes unfocused.  _ Was he really getting  _ used  _ to this? What kind of masochistic monster did that make him? _

 

Rex noticed his sudden mood change and slowed down. “Babe, you okay? You want to stop?”

 

Emmet sighed, tucking his head into the crook of Rex’s neck. “No.”

 

“You want to slow down, then? Talk to me!” Rex’s voice grew more insistent. 

 

“Rex, do you think I’m a bad person?”

 

Rex laughed, surprised. “What?”

 

“I just feel like I’m losing my sense of morality.” Emmet bit his lip. “It’s difficult to explain.”

 

“Right, because when I think ‘Emmet Brickowski,’ I immediately think of moral depravity. What brought  _ this  _ on?”

 

He couldn’t articulate why he was feeling such intense feelings of guilt. 

 

“Is it because of  _ me?”  _ Rex asked, stiffening. 

 

“No– I don’t know,” Emmet sighed. “It just… started… because of you.”

 

Rex sucked in a quiet breath. “I knew it. I’m corrupting you. Fucking you up.”

 

“No, no!” Emmet was quick to reply. “I don’t know. I guess I just feel bad for… getting used to all of this. Life used to be so stressful, and so it’s nice to be here, where things are uncomplicated. You’re sweet to me, and act like I’m the best thing in the world–“

 

“Because you  _ are _ ,” Rex interjected. 

 

“–and I really like it, and I just told you that I think I like you, but at the same time I feel bad for being so… easily swayed. What happened to me?”

 

Rex propped himself up. “So, let me get this straight. You’re upset because you have a doting boyfriend who treats you like his entire world, and you feel guilty because you enjoy it when I’m nice to you?”

 

Emmet sighed again. When you put it like that… “You wouldn’t understand.”

 

They were silent for a few moments, and then Rex lay back down and wrapped his arms around Emmet. “I’m sorry that you feel that way, honey. We don’t have to fuck, but can I hold you?”

 

“Yeah,” Emmet said. That was what he needed right now.

 

Rex held him tight. “It probably wasn’t even a good time for sex. I don’t want to do you if you’re feeling bad.”

 

Emmet sniffed, willing the burning feeling behind his eyes to go away. “Your boner says otherwise.”

 

“Yeah, well, my boner can take a chill pill, you know?” Emmet snorted, despite his mood. Rex kissed the back of his head. “I don’t like seeing you like this, my love.”

 

Yeah. Emmet didn’t like seeing himself like this either. “I’ll be okay.”

 

“Oh, Emmet,” Rex said tenderly. “ _ I know you will.” _

 

Despite Rex’s body heat, Emmet felt a shiver run through him. “Rex?”

 

“Mmm?” came the response. 

 

“You want to kiss again?”

 

Rex’s hard-on throbbed against his leg. Rex seemed a trifle less sure. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah.” He  _ thought,  _ anyway. 

 

“Really?” Rex said doubtfully, “Cause I don’t want to fuck you up agai–“

 

Rex was cut off by Emmet roughly kissing him. Rex only stayed still for a moment before he was kissing back, his arms tight around Emmet. 

 

Emmet had no idea what he was doing to himself in the long-term. He didn’t care. Short-term happiness was a direct result of being close to Rex. He would make himself pay for this, he knew it. 

 

Ah well. In for a penny, in for a pound. 

 

Emmet wondered when he had become so cavalier. 

 

He pulled back from the kiss, winked, and moved down, until his face was level with Rex’s crotch. He pulled Rex’s pants down, and then his underpants, freeing his cock. 

 

Rex stared down at him, absolutely gobsmacked. “Em, you don’t have to–“

 

Less thinking. Less guilt. More doing. Emmet ignored Rex, and gave the achingly hard cock in front of him a tentative lick. And then another, and another. 

 

Slowly, he grew bolder, as Rex above him grew flustered. He traced the veins with his tongue, delighting in the spreading blush over Rex’s face. So much like his own–

 

Less  _ thinking,  _ Emmet. Less dwelling. Move past it. He took the entire tip of Rex’s dick in his mouth, and sucked. This elicited a cry out of Rex. An actual  _ cry.  _ Emmet reveled in the power he had. He wondered if this was how Rex felt all the time. Was he becoming–

 

Emmet took as much of Rex in his mouth as he could, and  _ sucked.  _ With a cry, Rex came down his throat, and Emmet swallowed, without thinking. He pulled back and took in Rex’s dazed expression. “Oh my  _ god,  _ Emmet,” Rex said breathlessly. “I mean, Jesus. Emmet. That was your first time giving head?”

 

“Yeah.” Emmet moved back up, into Rex’s arms. “Was it okay?”

 

Rex smiled at him lazily. “Emmet, you could stab me, and I’d still be happy that it’d be coming from you.  _ Of course  _ it was okay.” His eyes drifted closed, and he nestled down into sleep with that silly lovestruck smile still plastered on his face. 

 

Emmet was happy that he had made Rex happy. He was really devoted to Emmet, after all. Which was nice, if a bit undeserved. Emmet had never had someone love him this much. 

 

So why did he still feel so weird about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "grace halobolts is working through some shit" -- a summary of this chapter
> 
> yall know my love of comments and kudos at this point, unless you're just reading this chapter because it has sex in it.


	6. have you heard the news? everyone's talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex and Emmet go out for a drink and meet some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to @askbrupersonalblog2 on tumblr for their amazing art, and thus includes their oc, Victor. Check 'em out!
> 
> Enjoy!

“We should go out,” Rex said, after a nice stir-fry dinner. 

 

It had been two weeks since their shopping outing. Emmet was following his policy to just not think about things too hard. He knew that Rex knew something was up with him, but so far Rex hadn’t pressed. He also hadn’t made any sexual advances on Emmet, which Emmet both appreciated and resented. 

 

“Go out where?” he asked absent-mindedly, washing dishes in the sink. Next to him, Rex dried. 

 

“For a drink. There’s a great bar in Hiddnstache that I used to go to a lot. We should pop over.”

 

“Oh, you know I don’t drink,” Emmet smiled. He didn’t want to ruin Rex’s fun, of course, but principles were principles. Even if–

 

He cut that thought off. Rex didn’t seem to notice. “I know, I know. Drinking is fun and all, but if you really don’t feel like it, you can just get a soda or something. What are they called? Mocktails?”

 

“I don’t know, Rex. Maybe?” Emmet wiped the crud off of a wooden spoon. “It’s been a while since I’ve been out.”

 

“Exactly!” Rex exclaimed. “You worry me sometimes, you know. I don’t want you to get cabin fever here.”

 

“I don’t have cabin fever,” Emmet said half-heartedly. 

 

“Of course you don’t,” Rex said soothingly. “But I don’t want you to  _ get  _ cabin fever. I’m amazing company, but I’m only one dude. And as much as I love clingy sweet Emmet, you need to go outside every once and awhile.”

 

Emmet flushed. Was he really that clingy? “Yeah, okay, maybe. You’re really worried about me?”

 

“Aww.” Rex put down a pot, and pressed a kiss to Emmet’s temple. “You’re my  _ favorite.  _ Trust me when I say that I’m looking out for your best interests.”

 

“Alright,” Emmet murmured. 

 

“Great!” Rex said brightly, pulling away. “Besides, I have an ulterior motive.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“I want to introduce my friends to my beautiful boyfriend.” Rex winked at him. 

 

****

 

So after finishing the dishes, Rex and Emmet jetpacked down to Hiddnstache, in the Fynzruum Cluster. Rex looked every inch a Cool Guy in his leather jacket and mirrored sunglasses. With his  _ Everything is Awesome  _ graphic t-shirt and sneakers with rainbow laces, Emmet felt more like the comic relief.

 

Hiddnstache was seedy, but that might have had something to do with the fact that it was dark. Plenty of places were scarier after dark. Besides, Emmet had Rex with him. Rex would never let anything happen to him. 

 

Rex led him into a bar slightly off the beaten path. The outside was dingy, but there were bright lights inside. The weathered sign above the door read  _ The Duplo Double.  _ Rex flashed him a smile, grabbed his hand, and kicked the door open. 

 

Nobody in the bar seemed to care. The two minifigures shooting pool barely looked up from their game, and the minidolls sharing cocktails in a booth didn’t even pause their conversation. A couple of minis sitting at the bar looked up from their drinks, and the Duplo who was tending bar gave Rex a nod, but that was it. Rex was par for the course here. 

 

With a big smile, Rex cupped his free hand around his mouth, and yelled, “Riz! Smith!” 

 

The two minifigures playing pool took more notice now. The woman with the bushy brown hair and the pink jacket put down her cue and said, “Holy shit, is that Rex Dangervest?”

 

“The one and only!” Rex replied. “How have you two been?”

 

The other minifigure, a man in a tailored suit and dark glasses, put down his pool cue elegantly. “The same, Rex. What kept you?”

 

“Smith!” the woman said slyly. “It looks like our Rexy has found someone to put up with his shit!”

 

Emmet smiled bashfully, and Rex held their locked hands up to show his friends. “This is Emmet Brickowski, the love of my life.” This, of course, made Emmet blush more. 

 

Smith smiled tightly. “You’ve become a romantic, I see.”

 

“Emmet brings it out in me,” Rex replied easily. 

 

The woman strode confidently toward them, and stuck out her hand for Emmet to shake. “Pleasure to meet you, Emmet. I’m Rizzo.”

 

“From  _ Grease _ ?” Emmet asked. 

 

“Yup.” She gestured over her shoulder. “The asshole over there is Agent Smith, of  _ The Matrix  _ fame.” Smith nodded at Emmet, and so he nodded back, even though he had no idea what  _ The Matrix  _ was _.  _

 

“Riz, where’s Sandy?” Rex asked. 

 

“Working in Systar,” Rizzo replied. “If I’d known you were going to show off your new boytoy, I would have brought her along. Made a night of it.”

 

Her words made Emmet burn, but Rex gripped his hand tighter and laughed stiffly. “Emmet isn’t some fling.”

 

Agent Smith raised an eyebrow, but Rizzo nodded soothingly. “Of course, Rex. You want a drink?”

 

“Fuck yeah,” he said immediately. Rex walked over to the pool table and collapsed in a nearby chair, pulling Emmet into his lap. Rizzo and Smith watched, amused. 

 

“What about you, Emmet?” Rizzo offered. 

 

Rex answered for him. “He doesn’t drink.” And then, after a pause, “Or swear.”

 

“Does he rat his hair?” Rizzo asked. 

 

Emmet laughed. Rex groaned. “Christ, Rizzo, how long have you been waiting to make that joke?”

 

“Four chapters,” she answered. “I’ll go grab those drinks for us.”

 

While she was walking, Emmet leaned back to whisper, “They seem nice,” to Rex. 

 

He smiled. “Glad you like them, baby,” he whispered back. “Riz might be a little brusque at times, but she really is invaluable. Smith is quiet, but when you need him, he has your back.”

 

Smith sat down in a chair across from them and took them in, silently. It was a touch creepy, but Emmet tried to ignore it, since Rex didn’t seem to be concerned at all. 

 

When Rizzo returned, she was balancing a tray. “A beer for me, a gin for Smith, a rum and Coke for Rex, and a Coke and Coke for Emmet.” She held the tray towards them, and Rex took his drink with a wink. Emmet, although nervous about the stability of Rex’s lap, did the same. 

 

“Much obliged,” Smith said, taking his gin. 

 

“Mmm,” Rizzo said, raising the beer to her lips, tossing the tray on the floor and falling backwards into a chair of her own, all without spilling her drink. When she had taken her sip, she asked, “So, how did you two meet?”

 

“Uh–” Emmet began.

 

“There’s some time travel fuckery involved,” Rex took over. “But the short answer is that Emmet is an alternate version of myself who hasn’t been exposed to the horrors of life.”

 

Smith snorted, his calculating expression cracking for just a second. Rizzo merely groaned. “Oh my god, Rex. When I told you to go fuck yourself, this wasn’t what I meant!”

 

“Okay,  _ that  _ seems like a joke you’ve been sitting on for a while,” Rex said. He didn’t sound the least bit guilty or defensive. 

 

“I just came up with it now, because this is an insane situation that you have handed me, and  _ definitely  _ not one that I could have planned jokes for.”

 

Smith sipped his drink. “Congratulations on the duplication, Rex. But I did it first.”

 

“It’s not  _ really  _ like fucking myself, you know.” Okay, now Rex sounded a touch defensive. “Emmet isn’t me, and I’m not Emmet anymore. We’re two distinct beings with our own thoughts and personalities. It just happens that I used to be him.”

 

“You’re digging yourself deeper,” Rizzo told him, running her hands through her thick, curly hair. 

 

“It’s not  _ that  _ weird!”

 

“Also, we haven’t had sex yet,” Emmet chimed in. 

 

“Emmet, don’t tell  _ them  _ that!” Rex protested. 

 

“Why?”

 

Rizzo made eye contact with Rex. “Rex, Emmet is  _ helping  _ you here. Go along with him. He’s very good for you.” The compliment made Emmet smile. 

 

“Wait, but Rizzo, no bullshit, are you actually disgusted with me here?” Rex put his drink down and wrapped both his arms around Emmet’s waist. 

 

“I’m not,” Smith said. 

 

“ _ Thank you,”  _ Rex emphasized. 

 

Rizzo shook her head. “Jesus. You give me these insane scenarios to deal with. You’re gonna kill me.”

 

“You’re too tough for that,” Rex smiled. 

 

“This really is only something Rex Dangervest would do to me,” Rizzo said pensively. “And now I have two of you to worry about.”

 

“I’m not Rex!” Emmet piped up. Of that, at least, he was sure. 

 

“ _ Good.  _ He’s a dumbass.” Rizzo’s expression softened. “I have to admit, Emmet, you’re a good influence on him.”

 

“Really?” Emmet and Rex both exclaimed at the same time. 

 

“Yeah,” she said. But she couldn’t elaborate, because the bar door was thrown open once again. 

 

A man with green hair, white skin, red lipstick, and a purple tailcoat ran in. “Hey guys!” he exclaimed jovially at their group. 

 

“Joker!” Rex exclaimed. Rizzo stood up to hug him.

 

“Holy smokes, is that Rex?” the Joker said, when he pulled back from Rizzo. “And Rex’s new ‘enemy?’”

 

“Joker? Like, Batman’s Joker?” Emmet exclaimed, dumbfoundedly. 

 

Joker balanced on one leg, flashed a peace sign, and winked. “The one and only!”

 

“I’m Emmet!” He wondered if the Joker knew who he was, from Batman. 

 

“Nice to meet ya, Emmet!” Joker replied, giving no indication that he recognized him. That made sense. He doubted that Batman would want to talk to his enemies about the guy who stole his girlfriend. Underneath him, Rex sighed in relief. He was clearly thinking the same thing. “You’re Rexy’s rival?”

 

Rizzo sighed. “Joker, you have to stop calling every single relationship a rivalry. Just because you’re dating your nemesis doesn’t mean we all are.”

 

“ _ Au contraire,  _ my greaser friend,” replied the Joker, wagging a finger. “Every relationship is a little bit of a rivalry.  _ Not to an unhealthy extent, _ ” he added quickly, when Rizzo opened her mouth, “but enough to keep things spicy.”

 

Rizzo snorted, and sat back down in her chair. “Whatever you say, clown. Hope your relationships go well.”

 

“They  _ are  _ and they  _ will, _ ” the Joker replied irritably. “That’s what I’m here to announce. I’m getting married in a month.”

 

“Congratulations!” Rex exclaimed. He tapped Emmet’s lower back, and so obediently Emmet rose to his feet, allowing Rex to sweep the Joker up into a hug. Rizzo and Smith cheered. 

 

“Thank you!” the Joker replied, when Rex put him down. “I’m so excited. Look at my ring!” He flashed an amethyst and diamond ring at them all. 

 

Emmet oohed appreciatively. “That’s beautiful.”

 

“I’ll get you a prettier one,” Rex promised, wrapping an arm around Emmet’s shoulders. 

 

They had only been dating for three-ish weeks, and although it had been a very passionate and codependent three weeks, Emmet still chose to ignore the proposal. “You and your fiancé must really be in love,” he said instead. 

 

“Oh, he’s the hate of my life!” the Joker sighed blissfully. “And I can’t wait for the ceremony!”

 

Emmet hoped that someday he would be in love… er, in hate… like that. “I’m so happy for you.”

 

The Joker grabbed his hand. “Oh, you  _ must  _ come to the wedding. All of you!”

 

Emmet turned to Rex for approval, who grinned. “Of course we’ll come, Joker,” he said. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

The Joker’s red-lipsticked mouth stretched almost comically wide. “Yay! I’m a lovestruck idiot who is going to be married surrounded by my best friends! Someone get me some jellybean schnapps!”

 

“Coming right up,” said Rex smoothly. “Come on, Em.”

 

Keeping his hand on Emmet’s shoulder, Rex guided them both over to the bar. “One shot of jellybean schnapps,” he told the Duplo bartender. Quietly, Rex asked, “Hey, Emmet, are you jealous?”

 

“Huh? Of the Joker getting married?” Emmet laughed softly. “It’s been like a month for us. I don’t think I hear wedding bells just yet. 

 

“Nah.” Rex laughed softly as well. “I mean, marriage is gonna happen, don’t fight it, but I noticed that you looked kinda wistful. You’re not thinking about those assholes who left you for dead, are you?”

 

Rex’s arm suddenly felt a lot heavier on Emmet’s shoulder. “No, it’s nothing like that,” Emmet said honestly. “Truthfully, I don’t want to talk about them.”

 

“ _ Good.” _

 

“Joker just seems to love his life so much. I wonder if I’ll ever even  _ like  _ my life.” Emmet stared down at the bar. The bartender placed the shot in front of him.

 

Rex kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll tell you what. You work on liking your life, and in the meantime I’ll love you, and love our life together. Will that work, baby?” One of the minifigures sitting down the bar looked up upon hearing the pet name. Hopefully they weren’t a homophobe. 

 

“I hope so, Rex,” Emmet replied. Rex kissed his cheek once more, picked up the shot glass, and started to walk back to his friends. 

 

Key word:  _ started.  _

 

The door slammed open for the third time that night. This time, the cause of the commotion was a male minidoll, with purple skin, tiny fangs, and yellow eyes. He wore a tight shiny tank top and a jean jacket, and was flanked by two Duplos. Rex, Joker, Rizzo, and Smith all stiffened in his presence. 

 

Emmet had no idea who he was. 

 

“Rex Dangervest!” the minidoll cried. His eyes flicked over the group. “And Betty Rizzo, The Joker, Agent Smith, and…” He hesitated. 

 

“Emmet Brickowski,” Emmet supplied. 

 

“Cool! Don’t know you,” the minidoll said. 

 

“He’s my  _ boyfriend _ , Victor,” Rex said testily. “Now scram. You know that this is our haunt.”

 

Victor folded his arms and scoffed. “Perhaps I’m just here for a drink! Have you thought about that?”

 

Rizzo took a step forward. “Nice try, asshole. Get lost.”

 

“I’ll get lost–“ Victor struck a pose, his Duplo henchmen framing him. “–when Rex hands over his raptors to me!”

 

“Why do you want them?” Emmet asked. 

 

“Oh, right, you’re new,” Victor said, cracking an eye open. 

 

“He’s a beauty guru type, hon,” Rizzo said, in explanation. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Sorry,  _ Cruella De Ville _ ,” Rex sneered. “None of them are here. Not Ripley, not Cobra, and  _ definitely  _ not the other one! They’re all back on the Rexcelsior!”

 

“Is  _ that  _ what your ship is called?” Emmet asked in disbelief. 

 

“Did you forget?” Rex asked back. “We’ve been living on it together for like, a month. Have neither of us used the ship’s name?” He and Emmet both furrowed their brows as they tried to remember. 

 

“The raptors are on the ship?” Victor interrupted. “Are you serious?”

 

“Wait, was that your whole plan?” Rex raised an eyebrow. “To just come here and hope that there would be a raptor with me?”

 

Victor’s silence said it all. “Yikes,” Agent Smith filled in. 

 

“Listen, buddy,” the Joker said sternly. “I’m gonna be  _ married.  _ And you coming in to fuck things up is kind of ruining my honeymoon period.” 

 

Rizzo slammed her fist into her palm. “Aw, it’s not all bad, Joker,” she smiled cruelly. “If there are two things you like more than your fiancée, they’re drinking and fighting.”

 

Rex handed the shot of jellybean schnapps to Joker, who downed it quickly. With his hands free, Rex picked Emmet up bridal-style, walked over, and placed him on the bar. 

 

“Don’t worry, Emmy,” Rex whispered. “This asshole deserves it. Tries to skin my raptors for fashion.”

 

Emmet let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. “Good.”

 

Rex took off his leather jacket and put it around Emmet’s shoulders. “You seemed cold. This won’t take long, my love. And then I think we’ll get out of here.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Emmet said. Rex kissed him lightly on the nose, rolled up his sleeves, and went back to join his friends, who were also preparing to fight. At a signal from Victor, his Duplos rearranged, building themselves over his arms. Victor balanced on his two sentient Mecha arms, and Rex and co. sprang into the fight. 

 

Emmet turned his head away. He didn’t want to have to see anything gory. He would just trust that Rex would handle it. 

 

Instead, he looked at the rest of the bar. The minidolls with the cocktails were ducking for cover, while the Duplo bartender cleaned a glass like nothing was happening. The maybe-homophobic minifigure was the only one still sitting at the bar. Their shoulders bent, as if sighing in annoyance, and they turned their head towards him.

 

Leaving Emmet staring into the mirrored sunglasses of Bad Cop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, the plot thickens!! Hope you liked the chapter! You can contact me at halobolts.tumblr.com, or just by leaving a kudo or a comment!


	7. more free time for my awesome community!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex and Emmet attend the Joker's wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on the chapter! Life, you know? But I like to think that this one is pretty good, and it's double-length, too! 
> 
> Chapter dedicated to @askbrupersonalblog2, @blazingscarlettigrelily, and @amokeo014 for the art! 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Em!” Rex yelled, firing his laser gun. “What’s our status?”

 

Emmet was busy trying to connect two wires so that the dang buttons would work, while balancing  the Rexcelsior’s instruction manual (hand-written by Rex) between his chin and his shoulder. “Three more minutes!” Ripley, who was covering for him, roared and gnashed at the Space Kraken tentacles that were trying to fit into the airlock. 

 

“I can’t buy you three minutes!” Rex exclaimed, shooting at the writhing masses. 

 

It had been a month since the fight at the bar had happened. Rex had rushed Emmet out as soon as he could, which left no time for Emmet and Bad Cop to exchange words. Emmet didn’t even know whether Rex had seen Bad Cop or not. 

 

At least Rex was letting him go on adventures now. He seemed to be genuinely concerned for Emmet’s mental health, and Emmet couldn’t deny that the excursions made a difference. Maybe it was the fresh air, maybe it was the adrenaline rush, maybe it was seeing Rex’s happy, weary face when they won. Emmet didn’t know. 

 

Jerking back into the moment, Emmet studied the instructions and tried to ignore the cacophony of raptor cries and Kraken hisses.  _ Aha!  _ Shoving the book into his mouth, he grabbed a third wire and smashed the exposed metal fiber into the two that he was already connecting. The dashboard lit up, and with his free hand Emmet smashed the  _ CLOSE DOOR  _ button. 

 

With a flash of red light, the doors began to close. Immediately, the Kraken pulled back, perhaps sensing on a primal level that it could not win against cold machinery. Rex charged forward, shooting and driving it back. 

 

Finally, the doors slammed shut, just as the Kraken had finally retreated. Emmet wrapped duct tape around the connected wires, as Rex slowed to a halt and holstered his laser gun. He turned towards Emmet as he caught his breath, and smiled wearily. “Man, when I said I liked hentai, this wasn’t what I meant!”

 

Emmet had no idea what hentai was, but he was so relieved that he laughed anyway. Rex joined in, and then Emmet was running and jumping into Rex’s arms. Rex caught him, and they twirled around, big cheesy smiles on both of their faces. 

 

Rex gently put him down, but kept his arms wrapped loosely around Emmet’s waist. “You saved my ass back there, baby.”

 

“That’ll teach marauders to mess with our ship!” Emmet cheered. 

 

Rex’s eyes crinkled. “ _ Our  _ ship. You said  _ our  _ ship.” 

 

Instead of replying, Emmet leaned forward, placed a hand on Rex’s face, and kissed him. Rex’s eyes fluttered, and he leaned into the kiss. The surge of relief in Emmet’s stomach shifted into pure, warm  _ happiness _ , and he knew that Rex could feel it too. The raptors maintained a respectful distance and let the two have their moment. 

 

Finally, Rex pulled back. “You  _ know  _ I could kiss you all day.”

 

“And I’d let you,” Emmet smiled. 

 

“Don’t tease me, you beautiful light of my life,” Rex’s expression melted. “We have to get ready for the Joker’s wedding. We’re kinda running late as it is.”

 

Reluctantly, Emmet let his hand drop from Rex’s face. ‍”Alright. You need a shower.”

 

Instead of dropping the embrace, Rex picked Emmet up, bridal style. “No,” he said, kissing Emmet on the cheek. “We both need a shower.”

 

**********************

 

An hour later, Emmet and Rex jetpacked into Gotham City. Large, neon signs pointed the way to the city center.

 

“Wow,” Rex said, staring up at them. “Those signs have the Joker written all over them.”

 

“Literally,” Emmet pointed up, at a sign that was, indeed, just covered in the Joker’s name. (To be fair, there were also signs that had the bat-symbol on them, so it wasn’t purely an ego thing).

 

Rex squeezed Emmet’s hand. “Hey, you think it was mean of the Joker not to make us part of his bridal party?”

 

“Dressed like this?” Emmet laughed. “I’m pretty sure us getting up in front of everyone would be a crime.” 

 

It was true, they were dressed a little ridiculously. The sleeves of Rex’s suit had been ripped off, making it more of a vest. Emmet was also wearing a vest, but it was his orange safety vest, over the suit that Rex had bought him at C’asp’lay Canal. Both of them were wearing jetpacks. 

 

Rex snorted as they began to follow the signs. “True. But the Joker’s a clown villain. Fashion crimes are probably his forte.”

 

“Hey, what do you think the new married couple’s crime policy will be?” Emmet wondered out loud. “Since one’s a hero and the other’s a villain.”

 

“No crime during dinner?” Rex suggested humorously. “Crime every other weekday?” Emmet snorted, and nudged Rex with his shoulder. “I don’t know, babe! They’ve made the relationship work so far! They’ll probably just make out mid-fight! No way that the Joker is giving up on crime, even if he really is in love.”

 

“And I think he is,” Emmet said. “Do you see how his eyes light up when he talks about his fiancé? That’s  _ real  _ love.”

 

Rex was silent for a moment. They were nearly at the center of Gotham. A large circus tent had been erected for the occasion, and Clayface stood in front of the door holding a clipboard. “Our love is better.”

 

Emmet had to laugh. “Are you  _ jealous _ ?”

 

Rex blushed. “No! And I definitely won’t be not jealous if someone else catches that bouquet today.”

 

“Don’t be so competitive, Rex,” Emmet said. 

 

“I’m the best at being competitive, though,” Rex joked, as they approached Clayface. 

 

“Names?” the amorphous supervillain asked. 

 

“It’s under Dangervest,” Rex said coolly. “Emmet and Rex.”

 

Clayface flipped through. “Wedding’s almost started,” he said, almost accusatorily. 

 

“We’re aware,” Rex replied. 

 

“We’re sorry,” Emmet said at the same time. 

 

Clayface checked off something on his clipboard. “Found you. Your seats are–“

 

The tent door behind him fluttered as a kid dressed in a tuxedo soared out to stand in front of Emmet and Rex. He had neatly-combed brown hair, and goggles that magnified his already big green eyes. “Hey! You better go sit down!”

 

Rex and Emmet both blinked at the kid. “Um… who are you?” Emmet asked. 

 

“My name is Richard Grayson, but you can call me Dick!” said the kid. Rex snorted, and Emmet elbowed him. “Or Robin! Either is fine!”

 

Emmet liked this kid already. “I’m Emmet, and this is Rex.”

 

“Oh! How do you know my dads? ‘Cause that’s why I’m here. It’s my two dads that are getting married. Padre-dad, and Dad-joke-dad! And I’m the flower boy!”

 

“We’re friends of the Joker,” Rex answered. “Which one is that?”

 

“Dad-joke-dad! He’s great! I’m so glad he and Padre-dad are finally tying the knot!”

 

Clayface cleared his throat. “Robin, better show Mr. and Mr. Dangervest to their seats. They’re on the Joker’s side, third row, reserved.”

 

Robin looked up at them with a face full of wonder. “Woah, Mr. and Mr. Dangervest, are you married too?”

 

“Nah,” Emmet said quickly, before Rex could spread any falsehoods. “We just have the same name on the invitation for convenience.”

 

If this disappointed the kid, he didn’t show it. “Okay! Follow me, then, Dangervests!” He bounced off and through the tent door again. 

 

“He reminds me of you,” Rex said, amused. Emmet rolled his eyes, good-naturedly, as they followed Robin inside. 

 

The inside of the tent was well-lit, and nearly full. Robin led the two down the middle, to the right side of the aisle, which was jam-packed with an entire rogue’s gallery. Thankfully, there were two free seats in the third row, just as Clayface had promised. Rizzo and a blonde girl sat next to them, and next to them was Agent Smith, holding a program in his hands. 

 

“Alright!” Robin exclaimed. “Here are your seats, Emmet and Rex! I better get into position! The wedding starts any minute!”

 

“Thank you, Robin,” Emmet said kindly, as he and Rex squeezed through to their seats. The kid saluted, and ran off down the aisle. It was just in time, too– the lights had begun to dim. 

 

Rizzo waved at them silently, and Smith nodded once. Rizzo picked up the hand of the blonde girl next to her to show them, and mouthed “ _ Sandy.”  _ Rex did the same with Emmet’s hand, mouthing “ _ Emmet.”  _ Rizzo laughed quietly and flipped Rex off. Smith rolled his eyes. Emmet and Sandy exchanged embarrassed glances. 

 

Soft piano music began to play, and a woman with red hair and a purple ballgown stood up and walked to the stage. She had a microphone taped to her cheek, and her clear voice echoed out over the crowd. 

 

“Hello, and welcome to Gotham’s wedding of the century!” The crowd cheered, and she waited for them to calm down. “My name is Barbara Gordon, and I’m Batman’s maid of honor.”

 

A second figure glided down the aisle and did a sick flip, landing on the stage on both roller skates. She was wearing a red and black corset dress, and she was also mic’d. “What’s up, y’all! It’s me, Harley Quinn, the Joker’s Maid of Honor! Yes, I  _ did  _ get the MOH job! Suck it, Catwoman! Suck it, Riddler!” 

 

The Joker’s side of the aisle cheered loudly. Barbara Gordon looked like she wanted to be swallowed up by an infinite abyss that smelled like dirty laundry. 

 

“Okay, Harley,” Barbara said, happily but stiffly. “We talked about this in rehearsal.”

 

“Sure, Barbie!” Harley threw her hands in the air. “Let’s move things along! Presenting the Joker’s bridal party! Catwoman! The Riddler!” As she spoke their names, the bridal party members jumped up onto the stage. “Two-Face! Scarecrow! And Poison Ivy!” The audience cheered. “And introducing, the man of the hour! The Clown Prince of Crime, the reason that half of you are here, and as much as we all hate to admit it, Gotham’s greatest villain, THE JOKER!”

 

The Joker burst out onto the stage as Rex and Emmet clapped. His tuxedo was green and purple, and had at least a three-foot long train, and the flower in his lapel was clearly one of those squirt flowers. He looked a bit like a peacock. 

 

“And introducing Batman’s bridal party,” Barbara said, attempting to regain some control. “Benny the Spaceman, Princess Unikitty, Metalbeard, Sweet Mayhem, and Wyldstyle!”

 

Emmet felt himself tense.  _ His old friends were here.  _ A part of him had hoped that Batman, being a brooding edgy loner type, wouldn’t invite them. He ducked down in his seat.

 

“Don’t worry,” Rex whispered, reading his mind. “We won’t talk to them.” 

 

Emmet perked up as the traditional wedding march began to play. From the back of the tent, Robin came skipping forward, tossing white petals out of a basket that was shaped like Batman’s mask. Barbara and Harley stepped off to the sides, allowing Robin to come up onto the stage, throw the last handful of petals by Joker’s feet, and then run to stand by Unikitty. 

 

Following him was the Batman himself, clad in a white version of his costume, and holding a bouquet of flowers. Alfred walked him down the aisle, looking as happy as a father could be. Batman was singing quietly along to the instrumental of the wedding march, which was equal parts endearing and distracting. 

 

When Batman and Alfred got up onstage, the Joker took his fiancé’s hands, and Alfred stepped back. A minidoll with blue pigtails and a matching ballgown stepped forward. 

 

“I am General Sweet Mayhem,” she said. Emmet jolted.  _ That  _ was General Mayhem? That was what she looked like under the helmet? She was so  _ cute! _ “I am pleased to inform you all that this wedding will be officiated by my liege, and Prince-Consort Batman’s wife, Queen Watevra Wa’nabi!”

 

“Oh, shit,” Rex said softly. 

 

“Is everything okay?” Emmet whispered. Rex merely shook his head in response, effectively shutting Emmet up. 

 

The shape-shifting queen emerged, to stand behind the Joker and Batman. “Alright!” she laughed. “Are you two ready to get married, or  _ what?” _

 

“Heck yes!” Joker cheered. 

 

“You better believe it, my queen!” said Batman. 

 

“Alright! Then...if it’s okay with everyone here…” Watevra’s eyes did a choreographed sweep of the crowd. “I think we’ll just skip straight to the vows!” 

 

The crowd erupted into applause. Rex seemed particularly forceful in his clapping. Emmet knew his own body language well enough to know that Rex was  _ anxious.  _ But what could he be anxious about? Just a moment ago, he had seemed totally fine with Emmet’s old friends being there. 

 

“Batman will go first, because Batman is a fantastic orator,” Batman said. Affixing his eyes to the Joker, Batman began, “Joker, I once told you that I didn’t do relationships. Today, I congratulate you, for thoroughly proving me wrong.” A ripple of laughter came from the crowd. “You have supported me through thick and thin. You never gave up on our relationship– even when I tried my best to push you away– because you recognized that we had something special.”

 

As Batman spoke, Emmet glanced over at Lucy. She was standing with the rest of Batman’s bridal party, wearing a suit with a pale blue tie. Her hair was tblue and pink– was she still brainwashed? She didn’t  _ look  _ brainwashed. She was smiling softly at the Joker and Batman, the way that she used to smile when Emmet would bring her coffee, or they would watch movies together. Was she ever even brainwashed at all?

 

“I’ve realized,” Batman was saying, “that you’re what makes us special. You make me feel like I can be honest with my emotions. Both you and Watevra do. I know that a three person relationship isn’t what you might call standard, but come on! I’m Batman! I’m not standard.” Emmet laughed and rolled his eyes, and Rex managed a smile. “I love you both, in such different ways, but also in the same way…” Batman trailed off. “Wait, maybe I’m not such a good orator.”

 

“It’s okay,” Watevra said tenderly. 

 

“Keep going,” the Joker begged. 

 

“Joker, I promise to keep trying to be honest about my feelings with you, even though it hurts. I promise to hold you at night, to support you through thick and thin, and to stop your reign of evil over Gotham. Watevra, I promise that I will be there to make you happy, to support you in your rule, and to make sure you never have to be alone again. To both of you, I promise to be a loving husband, and make sure that you both feel prioritized in the relationship. I know we all talked about this in private when we were engaged, but I wanted to reiterate it in front of a crowd because Batman is the best at public declarations. I can’t wait to be married to you both.”

 

The crowd erupted into thunderous applause. Rex grabbed Emmet’s hand, and squeezed it. Rizzo and Sandy were also holding hands, and even Agent Smith looked touched. 

 

Queen Watevra sniffed. “Wow. Just… wow, Batman. Um, Joker? Your vows? Please?”

 

“What a tough act to follow,” the Joker smiled tearily. “Batman, you are a hard nut to crack, and for a long time I didn’t know why I couldn’t stop thinking about you. But I guess that was good for me. I became so involved with the mysterious brooding stranger in the cowl that I forgot that I scared myself. You make me feel like I’m normal, even though I’m so intrinsically not. And you make me feel good about not being normal! When I was pining over you, I thought to myself, ‘Joker, you’re a criminal. He’s a hero. He will never care about you the way you care about him. The world doesn’t work that way.’ But somehow, the world did work that way, and decided that a bat and a clown could be together. I’m in hate with you, Batman, and I’m in love with you. I promise to be a part of your Batfamily, to fill up your house with laughter, and to keep posing evil plans for you to foil. I even promise to not get too jealous of your wife.” At this, Watevra laughed. “But honestly, Batman, I want to grow old with you, to send Robin to college, to rule Gotham. I can’t wait for the rest of our lives.”

 

The crowd applauded again. Several supervillains on the Joker’s side shot pyrotechnics into the air. Joker sniffled, and said, “Batman, are you  _ crying?” _

 

“Batman doesn’t cry,” Batman said, as tears ran down his mask. “Batman  _ secretes.”  _ Several members of both bridal parties leaned back in disgust, but Watevra and Joker both looked even more enamored. 

 

“Well, if anyone has anything to say, speak now or forever hold your peace,” Queen Watevra said. Nobody spoke, and she smiled widely. “Well, then by the power vested in me, by the Systar System, I now pronounce you Joker, Clown Prince of Gotham, and Batman, Prince-Consort of Systar, Duke-Consort of Gotham. And, of course, husband and husband. Kiss already, you two!”

 

The Joker leapt into Batman’s arms, and the couple did exactly what they’d been aching to do the entire ceremony. Their passionate liplock brought a smile to the face of everyone present. Emmet leaned his head on Rex’s shoulder. “I’m happy for them,” he whispered. 

 

“Me too,” Rex’s voice was broken and emotional. “They really love each other. I wish… I could talk like that.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I wish I could express how I felt for you. They make it look so easy… and I just can’t find the words.”

 

Emmet could relate. He had been trying to find words to express how he felt about their relationship for a while now, and he kept coming up empty. “It’s okay.”

 

He could feel Rex shake his head. “It isn’t. But I hope someday I’ll figure out how to tell you how I feel.”

 

“Me too,” echoed Emmet. 

 

The Joker and Batman pulled apart from each other, and all the guests jumped to their feet in a standing ovation. 

 

“Wasn’t that amazing?” Rizzo asked Emmet rhetorically. Emmet nodded enthusiastically. “Rex?”

 

Rex was sporting an easy smile, although it looked a trifle forced. “Oh, yeah,” he said distractedly. “Em? Let’s go congratulate the Joker. We didn’t get him a gift, after all, so we don’t want to be totally shitty friends.” He took Emmet’s hand, and so obediently Emmet nodded a goodbye at Rizzo, Sandy, and Smith.

 

“We should probably leave after this,” Rex warned quietly, as they walked toward the Joker. He was surrounded by congratulators. Luckily, Batman was across the room, with his own crowd.

 

“Why?” Emmet whispered. “What’s gotten into you? You seem stressed.”

 

“I  _ am  _ stressed,” was Rex’s reply. “I’ll tell you once we’re out of here, okay?” Emmet nodded in reluctant acceptance. The suspense was chewing him up inside.

 

“Joker!” Rex called, abruptly changing tack. The Joker turned around, and his smile got wider. He elbowed through his well-wishers and pulled both Rex and Emmet into a hug.

 

“Congratulations, you domestic ass,” Rex said.

 

“I’m so happy for you,” Emmet said.

 

“Thank you!” the Joker exclaimed jubilantly. “Did I do okay? I was so giddy from Batman’s vows that I couldn’t think straight. I mean, Batman makes me feel not-straight anyways, but…”

 

“You did wonderfully,” Emmet assured the Joker. 

 

“You two are a tough act to follow,” added Rex. “Me and Emmet have a lot to live up to.”

 

Joker laughed. “You two aren’t engaged, though, right?”

 

Rex glanced at Emmet, while Emmet tried to look at anything except Rex. “Not yet,” Rex said. 

 

“Oh, good, good. I mean, I like your relationship, but it  _ is  _ my wedding…”

 

Emmet stopped listening. His eyes had found Lucy in the crowd near Batman. She smiled as she chatted with Benny and Barbara Gordon. Her movements were fluid and energetic. She was holding the hand of General Sweet Mayhem. As Emmet watched, General Mayhem and Lucy both laughed at an unheard joke told by Barbara. Benny added something, and both girls blushed.

 

“Babe! Babe!” Rex called, jolting Emmet back. “What are you looking at...oh.” He followed Emmet’s line of sight. 

 

Lucy stood up on her tiptoes to kiss General Mayhem’s cheek. General Mayhem laughed in surprise. Emmet’s heart sank. 

 

“Oh, I’m so…” he heard Rex say. “I didn’t want you to see this, Emmet.”

 

“Is he okay? What’s going on?” The Joker asked. 

 

Emmet couldn’t reply. It was upsetting that his ex-girlfriend had moved on, sure. He couldn’t deny that he was heartbroken, but he wasn’t innocent either. His situation with Rex had come from a need for intimacy, and he couldn’t blame her for going the same route. 

 

What was stopping him in his tracks was that Bad Cop, who was standing next to Benny, was staring at him. 

 

“This happened in my timeline too,” said Rex. He clearly hadn’t noticed Bad Cop. “After I came out from under Dry-ar, I saw them together, and it hit me that  _ that  _ was the reason nobody came for me. It made me feel replaced. I didn’t want you to have to go through that too. I’m so sorry, Emmet.”

 

Emmet was barely listening. Bad Cop motioned for Emmet to come over. Emmet shook his head slightly. Instead of leaving him alone, Bad Cop touched Benny on the arm, said something indistinguishable, and began walking towards Emmet. 

 

“I have to get out of here,” Emmet said lowly. His heart hammered, and his stomach felt like it would come out of his mouth. 

 

“Emmet, talk to me,” Rex said, but Emmet was already speedwalking off, losing himself in the crowd. “I’ve got to go grab him,” Emmet heard Rex say. 

 

“But don’t you want to say hi to Batman?”

 

“ _ Joker, I can’t.”  _ Rex seemed more forceful. Emmet scanned the crowd. He felt light-headed. There was a bathroom sign. Perfect. 

 

“Oh, come on, Rex!” 

 

“ _ Joker, get your hands off of me! _ ” Emmet could barely hear them now, even though Rex was shouting. 

 

Emmet pushed through the flap of fabric that served as an entrance to the tiled bathroom. It surprised him that the tent had a fully-furnished public bathroom, but he wasn’t in a mental state to wonder about the logistics of that. He entered a stall, locked the door, put his feet up on the seat, and tried to calm down.

 

What did Bad Cop want with him? They had never really been friends, even after TAKOS Tuesday. But here Bad Cop was, chasing him down. He probably assumed the worst about Emmet– that he had become evil, a turncoat against his own friends.

 

Then  _ again _ , he guessed he had. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it.

 

He heard the flap of fabric functioning as a door swish, and then hard boots clicked across the tile floor. “Emmet?” Good Cop said. “Are ya in here, buddy?”

 

Emmet stayed silent, and he could hear the cops’ helmet turn around. “I know you’re in here, Emmet Brickowski. Come on out.”

 

When Emmet didn’t move, the helmet switched back. “Please, Emmet?”

 

Back to Bad Cop. “I know that you saw me at the Duplo Double. Come out, and let’s talk about it, Special.”

 

Emmet hugged his knees to his chest. No matter how nice Good Cop was, he knew that Bad Cop would arrest him the second he stepped out of the stall.

 

That’s why Good Cop’s next words surprised him. “Emmet, I’m worried about you.”

 

_ Switch.  _ “Are you with Rex Dangervest?” Bad Cop demanded to know. “Are you dating Rex Dangervest?”

 

_ Switch.  _ “Emmet, none of your friends know where you are. Was that on purpose?” Good Cop asked.

 

_ Switch.  _ “I know Rex Dangervest. I’ve heard the stories.”

 

_ Switch.  _ “Why don’t you want to be found, Emmet?”

 

_ Switch.  _ “Rex is cruel and relentless and incapable of guilt.”

 

_ Switch.  _ “We’re all worried about you.”

 

_ Switch.  _ “You need to come with me,  _ now. _ ”

 

_ Switch.  _ “You need to come home.”

 

Emmet hyperventilated, rocking back and forth on the toilet seat. It was all too much! Why could nobody see that? Why could nobody let him figure it out on his own? Why couldn’t he figure it out on his own?

 

He heard the cops switch again. “I can hear you breathing. Talk to me,” Bad Cop said. There was a soft edge to his rough voice; nevertheless, Emmet clapped his hands over his mouth to quiet himself.

 

He heard the door-curtain swish again, and a second pair of shoes clacked on the tile floor.  “Hey,” he heard Rex’s voice say. “I’m looking for my boyfriend.” 

 

All traces of softness disappeared from Bad Cop’s voice. “Who are you?”

 

“Rex. Rex Dangervest.”

 

“I’m Bad Cop,” Bad Cop said. His helmet switched.

 

“And I’m Good Cop!” Good Cop exclaimed.

 

“Right…” There was absolutely no way that Emmet would ever forget Bad Cop and Good Cop, so Rex was clearly feigning his ignorance. “Listen, my boyfriend ran off somewhere. His name is Emmet. He has brown hair and is wearing an orange safety vest.”

 

“Haven’t seen him,” Good Cop said. He switched.

 

“He’s wearing an orange vest. Shouldn’t it be easy?” Bad Cop added snarkily.

 

“I don’t have time to threaten you right now, cops,” Rex groaned. “You sure he isn’t in here?”

 

“There’s nobody in here,” replied Bad Cop.

 

“Then who were you talking to right before I came in?” Rex demanded to know. Emmet’s breath hitched. Rex would surely kill Bad Cop if he knew that he had lied to him. Emmet and Bad Cop weren’t friends, but that didn’t mean that Emmet wanted Bad Cop dead. “You said, ‘ _ I can hear you breathing. Talk to me.’” _

 

“That was about me!” Good Cop exclaimed.

 

“Have you ever had someone on the back of your own head breathe down your neck?” Bad Cop asked. “It’s  _ creepy.” _

 

There was an audible pause, as Rex seemed to consider this. “Alright. So maybe he isn’t in here. Could you help me look for him? You  _ are  _ a cop.”

 

“I’m here on personal business,” Bad Cop said dismissively.

 

“Please?” Rex asked. “Do it for  _ love. _ ”

 

Bad Cop hesitated for only a moment before saying, “Alright, let’s  _ widen the perimeter _ .” It was clearly supposed to be a signal to Emmet, but Emmet had no idea what it meant.

 

“Uh, yeah, whatever, man,” Rex said. “Let’s go.”

 

Emmet heard the two men walk away, and out the door-flap. He counted to five, and then put his feet down. He couldn’t stay in the bathroom. Bad Cop would come back and grab him, or else Rex would be upset that Emmet hadn’t spoken up. He contemplated jetpacking out, but he would have no idea how to get back to the Rexcelsior. Carefully, he peeked out the stall door, and when he saw that nobody was in the bathroom, he eased the door open and stepped out.

 

He looked at himself in the mirror, and noted with some surprise that he still looked composed. Only a few strands of hair were out of place, and if he relaxed his face, he looked completely fine. It felt wrong, to see himself look so okay. Too much was happening for him to be okay. 

 

He took a few deep breaths and pushed open the door-flap. Rex and Bad Cop were no longer in sight, so he stepped through. 

 

A crowd had gathered around the stage. Batman and the Joker were standing together, with Watevra behind them. Batman was holding his bouquet up in the air. Something clicked in Emmet’s mind. They were about to throw the bouquet. Rex had hoped he would catch the bouquet. 

 

He squeezed his way into the crowd. He could scarcely see over people’s heads, but he saw Batman turn around. Everyone around him tensed in preparation. 

 

Batman lobbed the bouquet over his back, and it sailed off to Emmet’s right. He jumped into action and moved toward it. The people immediately in the area were too busy punching each other in the face to make a grab for it, and it drifted closer to the ground. Emmet ignored the elbows to his ribs and stray shoves, and dove for it. 

 

He slid along the floor, as the bouquet hit the ground. He reached it at the same time as another minifigure. Their hands both grabbed one side of the bouquet, and they began to play tug-of-war. 

 

At least, until they looked into each other’s eyes. 

 

“ _ Lucy,”  _ Emmet breathed. 

 

“ _ Emmet?”  _ Lucy exclaimed in surprise. This was it. This was Emmet’s worst nightmare. Rex had promised that he wouldn’t have to face her. Where was your protective boyfriend when you needed him?

 

“Lucy…” he said again, lamely. His hands were still on the bouquet, but they were weak. 

 

“Emmet!” The crowd above them parted, as minifigures, minidolls, and Duplos alike realized that the bouquet had been caught. 

 

Emmet jumped to his feet, leaving the bouquet on the ground, but Lucy picked it up as she stood up as well. “Emmet, what are you doing here?”

 

“I…” He didn’t know how to even begin to explain himself. Lucy always left him speechless. 

 

“You’re  _ alive _ ?” she asked, disbelievingly. “I thought Rex had killed you?”

 

_ This  _ made him reel back. “Rex? Rex wouldn’t kill me!”

 

Lucy started to say something, but she was cut off by a relieved, “Oh, Emmet, thank fuck!” Rex dashed up to them, ignoring all the eyes on them. 

 

“Hi, Rex,” he said awkwardly. Rex picked him up and twirled him around in a hug. Lucy watched, shocked. 

 

“Honey, you worried me so much!” Rex said, slowing down but not dropping Emmet. “Don’t go running off like that, even if–“ 

 

His eyes narrowed, as if he had just caught sight of Lucy. “ _ You _ ,” he hissed. 

 

Lucy looked astonished. “Emmet, you’re with Rex?”

 

“You better fucking believe it,” Rex growled. Emmet felt hands tighten around him. 

 

“You’re with General Mayhem,” Emmet said, almost in a whisper. He didn’t want to say it too loud, because that would make it too real. 

 

Guilt flashed over Lucy’s face, and she didn’t deny it. Rex snorted. “Come on, Emmy. This whole fucking wedding was a mistake. We don’t need to be around  _ traitors _ .”

  
Before Emmet had the chance to say anything, to  _ fix  _ anything, Rex had activated his jetpack. They lifted off, and all Emmet saw was Lucy’s shattered face (and Bad Cop kicking a chair) before they were punching a hole in the roof of the tent. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments, kudos, and art make me extremely happy!!! Send memes for this fic to halobolts.tumblr.com. We're in the final stretch now! Thanks for reading!


	8. we're all working in harmony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex explains himself, after the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter, broskis!! This one is dedicated to @tobi_bunni_buns on tumblr, cause I love their art. 
> 
> Enjoy!

As soon as they got back up to the ship, Rex carried Emmet to the TV room and sat them both down on the couch. “I’m so sorry, Emmet.”

 

“I…” Emmet still didn’t know what to say. 

 

Rex buried his face in Emmet’s neck. “Lucy hurt me so much… I guess she  _ still  _ hurts me. I thought I would be okay being around her, as long as we didn’t talk… but I overestimated myself.”

 

Rex was…  _ apologizing? _ That was ridiculous! He should be the one apologizing! He gently pulled himself off of Rex’s lap. “I’m sorry for… freaking out, and running away.”

 

Rex shook his head. “Em, you had a  _ panic attack. _ Don’t apologize for that. It’s nothing you can control. I’m sorry for triggering it. It was unacceptable. I should have known better what would trigger you.”

 

“It wasn’t just because of you. Or Lucy.” Emmet took Rex’s hands. “Rex, you need to be honest with me now.”

 

Rex stared at him earnestly. “Of course.”

 

“Why were you so anxious about Queen Watevra Wa’nabi?”

 

Rex’s eyes dropped. “I… alright. You deserve to know. Alright, alright. I’m afraid I lied to you, Emmet.”

 

Emmet’s heart jumped. “About what?”

 

“When I got my hands on a time machine… I didn’t go directly back to when you almost crashed into a meteor. I went back to about two years before.”

 

_ That  _ was definitely not what Emmet had expected. “Is that all?”

 

“Kinda?” Rex shrugged. “It was in the name of making a new life for myself, you know? I wasn’t Emmet anymore, so I went to the Fynzruum Cluster two years ago. New place, new time, very little chance of running into anyone I knew. I settled down in Hiddnstache’s orbit and tried to forget.”

 

“So what happened?”

 

“I mean, it worked for a while. I got jobs in the adventuring sector, doing morally dubious things to keep myself alive. Made me feel guilty, but also pretty cool.” Rex flashed an empty smile, which Emmet did not return. “I met Rizzo, Sandy, Smith, and the Joker. They didn’t ask too many questions about my past, and I didn’t ask questions about theirs. Even made a few enemies, like Victor. Life was okay, but I couldn’t help feeling like there was something missing. And then I met Watevra.” Rex stood up. “I need a drink. You want one, too?”

 

Emmet nodded silently, and so Rex walked into the kitchen. As soon as he was out of sight, Emmet exhaled. Would this have been his fate, if not for Rex’s intervention? He liked to think that he was a nicer person than that, but five years of isolation said otherwise. 

 

He couldn’t even imagine how lonely it must have been. Even after getting out from under Dry-ar, it sounded like Rex had forsaken all close friendship. Which was absolutely foreign to Emmet. Seeing his friends at the Joker’s wedding had made him realize how much he still cared about them. 

 

Rex emerged from the kitchen, holding a bottle of red wine and two mugs. “The wine glasses are all dirty,” he said in explanation. 

 

“It’s alright,” Emmet said. He wasn’t feeling particularly fancy, anyhow. Rex uncorked the bottle, and poured them both a liberal amount of wine. “You were talking about Queen Watevra Wa’nabi.”

 

Rex grimaced, and handed him a mug. “Right. Uh… we met in the middle of one of my adventures. Mission was simple: retrieve hostages, beat up bad guys, look cool doing so. I was in the middle of it when she showed up in her ship. Her soldiers kidnapped the criminals and the hostages alike– would have gotten me, too, if I hadn’t had my jetpack. She jetted off with a ship full of Fynzruumese prisoners.”

 

M“Really?” Emmet asked. The queen had seemed so nice at the Joker and Batman’s wedding!

 

“Yeah.” Rex took a swig of his wine, and Emmet copied him. It was rich, with a buttery, comforting undertone. “I found out later that she was recruiting them– brainwashing them until every tough impulse had been stripped away and replaced by catchy pop. I knew some of the minifigures she took– they stayed in contact with me, but they’d changed.”

 

“So I staged a rebellion.” Rex’s eyes were far away. “She hadn’t expected that– I think that she thought we would just submit to Systar.”

 

“She wanted you to join her?”

 

Rex shrugged. “Maybe. She wanted us to be like her. She didn’t understand that we didn’t work in a kingdom like hers. Fynzruum is full of minfigures and minidolls who can’t be happy all the time, who have built a society that doesn’t force them to be. She wanted to change that. It was conformity, plain and simple– exactly the same thing that President Business did to Bricksburg.”

 

“Huh.” Emmet had never made that comparison, but he didn’t comment on it. He sensed that Rex just wanted to talk. “So you rebelled?”

 

Rex smiled, although it seemed forced. “Yeah. I rallied everyone I could, and we battled the Systar armada as they approached Hiddnstache. Like I said, they didn’t expect it. We won that first battle, driving them back to Suc Culent.”

 

He tipped his cup back and took a large gulp. “Battles turned into a war. Me and Queen Watevra became enemies. A lot of minifigures were cracked or broken. I used my time machine to mitigate some of it, but many battles were unable to be won without loss of life. Eventually, I accepted this.”

 

“How could you…” Emmet couldn’t fathom how anyone could accept death. He took a sip of his drink. 

 

“I scared me too,” Rex answered. “But I had started a war, and I had to see it to its conclusion.” He sighed deeply. “She wanted peace. Proposed an alliance over and over. But I was… angry. I didn’t want to ally with someone like her, I told myself. Finally, we called a white peace. The name’s misleading. There was no peace involved in it. She withdrew her forces from Fynzruum, and we ceased warfare. We established a policy where she doesn’t touch my stuff, and I don’t touch hers. We‘re technically at peace, but there’s still a lot of bad blood between us. That’s why I freaked out at the wedding.”

 

Rex put his drink down, and stippled his fingers together. “The citizens of Fynzruum hailed me as a hero. But that wasn’t who I wanted to be anymore. So I withdrew from Fynzruum in my ship and tried to figure myself out. I took a long look at myself, and what I came away with was, ‘God, what happened to me?’” He gave a bitter laugh.

 

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Emmet said, tilting his head. 

 

“I had become this violent, warmongering dude. I time traveled to win so many lost battles that I fried my molecules, leaving me out of place in any time I go to. My ambition had overcome me. I’d hopped through so many futures, trying to win this war, that I had forgotten what was real and what wasn’t. And now the war was over, and I had to figure myself out again. I wondered when I had lost my ability to like life.” Rex looked tired, so tired. 

 

Emmet reached out and took Rex’s hand. “I’m sorry.”

 

Rex smiled wearily at him. “It’s alright. I wallowed like that for a long time. I tried to get back to work, but I was even guiltier than before. And then I remembered that soon my past self would crash into a meteor and be hurled under Dry-ar.”

 

He cleared his throat. “So I decided to jump in and save you. My atoms were jumbled up enough that I could interfere with my past self and not cause any paradoxes.” He laughed shortly. “One of the few perks of repeated time travel. I originally just wanted to toughen you up. Make it so the Systar System could never get to you. But the more time I spent with you, the more I remembered how much I missed my old life. I could never go back to the person I was before the crash, before Dry-ar, before the war, but when you were around, things were easier.”

 

Rex gave a shaky sigh. “And then we crashed the wedding, and I told you who I was, and you said you would never become me, and I shot you under Dry-ar. And I realized that I was becoming that warmonger again. So I went back and grabbed you, and tried to keep you with me. But…” Rex looked down. “I shouldn’t have interfered. It was selfish of me. I got used to being with you, to feeling the full range of emotion, and so, stupidly, I felt entitled to you. But you’re your own person, Emmet. You’ll never become me, and I’m glad about that. And you shouldn’t have to stay with me just because you have no other options. I don’t– I would like it if you stayed away from Systar, but I won’t keep you on the Rexcelsior.”

 

The monologue broke Emmet’s heart.  “Rex,” he said hoarsely. “It’s…”

 

Rex gave him a half smile. “Looks like I finally found the words.”

 

Emmet, meanwhile, was left wordless. All he could manage was, “I’m sorry you have to feel because of me.”

 

Rex shook his head, and said, “I don’t like it, but it’s good for me, I think.”

 

Was Rex saying that he didn’t like Emmet? Emmet looked down into his mug. “I guess I just miss my friends.”

 

“Yeah,” Rex agreed. Emmet looked back up, and to his astonishment, Rex was crying. “I thought I didn’t, I thought I was over all of that sappy stuff… but with you back, I miss my real friends. I miss them so much, Emmet.” 

 

Emmet put his mug down and, hesitantly, wrapped his arms around Rex. Rex practically melted into the embrace. Rex had been through so much… but he had also put Emmet through so much. But then again, he had also saved Emmet from suffering the same fate as him… 

 

There were so many variables at play: time travel, war, crippling isolation and forced companionship… Emmet wondered if he was a bad person for questioning Rex’s morality. The old Emmet would have outright condemned Rex’s behavior. But he had changed so much, and he felt like nobody, not even Rex, could understand what he was feeling. Even though Rex had managed to articulate himself, Emmet didn’t feel that his thoughts were any clearer. 

 

So instead, he put his mind aside, and kissed Rex, hard. Rex made a small noise in surprise, but quickly melted into the kiss. Their mouths were acrid from the wine, but strangely, having something  _ real _ , something  _ physical,  _ kept Emmet in the moment. 

 

No catastrophizing. No anxiety. Just Rex’s mouth on his, lips interacting with tongue, with the comforting weight of another body on his. 

 

They broke apart, their foreheads pressed against each other’s. Rex offered him a shaky smile. “You don’t have to do this to make me feel better.”

 

“I’m not,” Emmet told him. “I’m doing it to make  _ me  _ feel better.” Surprise, and for the first time, a bit of hope, flickered in Rex’s eyes, and this time he was the one that initiated the kiss. 

 

As they kissed, Rex gently pushed him back onto the couch, so that Rex was on top of Emmet like the world’s most sentient weighted blanket. Rex barely withdrew from Emmet, so close that Emmet could feel Rex’s lips mouth the words, “How far do you want to go?”

 

“I don’t know,” Emmet said lowly. “Can we just mess around a bit?”

 

Rex’s eyes lit up. “Sure, but do you mind if I try something new?” Emmet nodded, and quick as a flash Rex had gotten off of him and was racing out of the room. 

 

He returned after a few minutes with a box. “What’s in the box?” Emmet asked. 

 

“Haha, nice Se7en reference,” Rex laughed. 

 

Emmet had no idea what Se7en was, or how Rex 

had managed to pronounce it, but before he could ask any of these questions, Rex had ripped the box open, to reveal a wand-style vibrator. 

 

“We got it at the Canal, remember?” Rex exclaimed. 

 

Emmet remembered a lot of things about that day, but a vibrator was not chief among them. “No?”

 

“Fuck,” Rex said quietly. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I forgot that I was going to surprise you with it,” Rex guiltily said. 

 

Emmet smiled, and pulled down his suit pants. “Is that all? Consider me surprised.”

 

Rex straddled him, placing his knees on either side of Emmet’s torso, and they kissed again. Rex pulled Emmet’s underwear down slowly, and moved his mouth to the crook of Emmet’s neck.

 

Emmet felt Rex nip at his neck, over and over. He’d have hickies in the morning, but he found he didn’t care. 

 

Rex pressed the silicon of the vibrator onto the tip of Emmet’s cock, and switched it on. “It’s on the lowest setting,” he said lowly. “Tell me when it feels the best.”

 

He began to stroke Emmet with the vibrating wand. Emmet buried his face in Rex’s shoulder.

 

“There?” Rex stopped just below the head. 

 

“Yeah,” Emmet said breathlessly. 

 

He heard a click, and the vibrator sped up, stimulating an already sensitive area. “Ah, Rex!” Emmet cried, lifting his head up. “Lower!” Rex complied. “Too sensitive,” Emmet said in explanation.

 

“I get it,” Rex assured him. “This intensity okay?”

 

“Yeah, but…” Emmet felt dirty even asking for it. “Could you touch me with it… harder?”

 

He could practically hear Rex smile lavisciously. “Ah, baby boy likes it rough, huh?” He kissed Emmet on the cheek, and pressed down even harder with the vibrator.

 

Emmet’s head snapped back onto the cushions of the couch. “Oh my god…” he moaned. 

 

“Say my name,” Rex rumbled. 

 

“Oh my god,  _ Rex _ !” Rex began moving the vibrator in little circles around the sensitive area. Emmet grabbed a pillow from the couch to cover his moving, gasping face with, but faster than he could anticipate, Rex snatched it away. 

 

“Wanna see your face,” Rex husked, his voice giving away his own desperation. He pressed the vibrator down firmly, and Emmet screwed his eyes shut, mouthing the words  _ oh god  _ and  _ oh no  _ and  _ please more.  _

 

He could hear Rex’s shuddering breaths, and Emmet felt that he was close. He rutted up against the vibrator, and finally, blissfully, released. Rex kept a hand firmly on his back, keeping him up against the vibrator as Emmet shuddered through the aftershocks. 

 

When Emmet was finally finished, he released a breath and relaxed his body. “That was nice,” he said dreamily. 

 

“Mmm.” Rex tossed the vibrator off to the side, and carefully moved so he was spooning Emmet. “Glad you liked it, baby.”

 

Rex was still rock hard against Emmet. “Hey, Rex?”

 

“Yeah, Em?”

 

Emmet only hesitated for a moment before saying, “I think I want to stay on the ship with you for now.”

 

He could feel Rex relax behind him. “Oh, that’s good,” Rex said nonchalantly, but Emmet knew that he was extremely relieved. 

 

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom.”

 

“Nooo!” Rex protested jokingly. “Just let me hold you!”

 

“I don’t want a UTI, though,” Emmet laughed. 

 

“Pretty sure that’s not how that works.”

 

“Meh,” Emmet shrugged, propping himself up on one elbow. “Can never be too safe.”

 

“Lame,” Rex said. He took Emmet’s jaw in one hand and pulled him down so that he could kiss his forehead. Emmet snorted and picked himself up off of the couch. He pulled his underpants back up, and let his suit jacket drop to the floor, although he kept his safety vest on. 

 

“Goof. Just let me pee and then I’ll come back and finish you off.”

 

“Oh, thank  _ goodness _ ,” Rex cried overdramatically, laying a hand across his forehead. “Should I start singing that song from Heathers? Oh, shit, we should watch Heathers! Later, later.” Emmet took in the goofy smile plastered across Rex’s face before walking out of the den. 

 

Luckily, he was able to find the bathroom quickly. He was getting used to the non-Euclidean geographic of the ship, which was comforting. He was glad he was going to stay here, at least for the time being. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t miss everyone, but he was happy. 

 

On his way back from the bathroom, Emmet passed by Airlock 14+. This would not have been extraordinary, if not for the airlock being wrested open in front of him. A minifigure jumped through. 

 

“ _ Lucy?”  _ Emmet gasped. 

 

Lucy smiled. “Emmet! Thank god!” Behind her, a spaceship hovered, piloted by Benny and chock-full of Emmet’s friends, still in their wedding outfits. The Joker was on Batman’s lap, and Bad Cop sat next to Benny, co-piloting. Queen Watevra and Sweet Mayhem were in the middle of a conversation, paying Emmet no mind. 

 

“What are you guys  _ doing  _ here?” Emmet asked in disbelief. 

 

“We followed you! After Rex ran off with you from the wedding!” Lucy exclaimed joyously. “We’re here to rescue you!”

 

Emmet sort of half-laughed. “There’s… uh… there’s really no need… but you guys have to get off the ship.”

 

“Sure. Come on, then!” Lucy held out a hand to him. 

 

“No, I mean…  _ you  _ have to get off of the ship. I’m… I’m fine here.”

 

Worry flickered over Lucy’s face. “Why do you think that?”

 

“Queen Watevra told us about Rex!” Benny piped up. 

 

“He’s dangerous and selfish!” exclaimed Unikitty. 

 

“He’s not like that at all!” Emmet protested. 

 

“Stockholm syndrome,” Bad Cop said gruffly. “I’ve seen it happen to the best of minifigures.”

 

“I don’t have–“ Emmet began, and then stopped. Did he? There wasn’t time to explain about Rex’s past to everyone, so they couldn’t understand. But was that just trying to justify his own brainwashed feelings?”

 

“There’s no time for this,” Bad Cop snapped. “Just grab him. We’ll work out the details later.”

 

“Rex!” Emmet yelled. Lucy grabbed him to her chest and slapped a hand over his mouth, but it was too late. 

 

“Emmet? Are you okay?” Rex yelled back. There was some crashing, and Lucy jumped backward out of the airlock, pulling Emmet along with her. 

 

The two landed in the spaceship the moment that Rex reached the airlock with a cohort of raptors.

 

“Go!” Queen Watevra yelled.

 

“Oh Emmet, I’m so happy you’re safe!” Lucy exclaimed, happy tears in her eyes, as she threw her arms around him.

  
“EMMET!” Rex’s broken, angry,  _ desperate  _ scream burned itself into Emmet’s brain, and he couldn’t shout anything back before Benny was shifting the spaceship into hyperdrive and jetting them off towards Systar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments/memes/art are always appreciated! Hit me up on tumblr at halobolts!!! 
> 
> jesus god i hope i alley ooped this but rest assured shit will pay off


	9. this song's gonna get stuck inside you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmet travels back to Systar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to split this bad boy of a chapter up into two parts, but hopefully suspense is building!! 
> 
> dedicated to @goodboiz-wearvests on tumblr for their fantastic art!
> 
> enjoy!

“Arr, ye be alright, Emmet?” asked Metalbeard.

 

“Emmet, why do you have no pants on?” Benny asked from the front seat, at the same time.

 

“Oh my god,” was all Emmet could say in response.

 

“Did we catch you with your pants down?” the Joker snickered, from Batman’s lap.

 

Batman barked out a short laugh. “Bad joke, babe. Very bad joke.”

 

“Don’t you mean _bat_ joke?” replied the Joker.

 

Batman groaned. “I can’t believe I just married you.”

 

“Oh yeah, congratulations,” Emmet said, turning around.

 

“Thank you!” said the Joker brightly.

 

“Thank you. But, yeah, Emmet,” Batman said. “Not that I like, care or anything, but how much trauma you got now?”

 

“Batman!” Lucy exclaimed. “You can’t ask that!”

 

“Why?” Batman replied. “Trauma is cool, yo.”

 

“It’s, like, super not,” said Lucy.

 

“It’s okay if you have trauma,” Benny piped up.

 

“We’ll love you no matter what!” Unikitty added.

 

“I don’t have trauma!” Emmet exclaimed.

 

“Emmet,” Bad Cop said gently. “You don’t have pants on.”

 

Lucy stiffened. “Oh, crud. Emmet, did Rex–“

 

She couldn’t finish her sentence, and so Mayhem took over. “Emmet, do we need to beat Rex up?”

 

“Because we will,” Unikitty said.

 

“Heartily, and without hesitation,” Metalbeard finished.

 

“I’ll kill him. I’ll actually kill him,” Lucy said softly.

 

“Guys, stop!” Emmet exclaimed. “It wasn’t like that!”

 

“Discoloration on the neck, shortness of breath,” Bad Cop observed. “Did he strangle you?”

 

Self-consciously, Emmet touched his neck. “No!”

 

“Then explain yourself!” barked Bad Cop.

 

“Yeah, Emmet!” Unikitty snapped. “What’s going on?”

 

“They’re _hickies_ and it was _consensual!”_ Emmet exclaimed.

 

“ _Oh…”_ everyone except the Joker, Bad Cop, and Lucy breathed in unison.

 

“I knew this was a bad idea, but I didn’t expect it to be _this_ bad of an idea,” Queen Watevra Wa’nabi said suddenly. She had been quiet this whole time, so her voice made Emmet jump.

 

“You’re the Queen, I guess?” Emmet asked.

 

She nodded. “Of the Systar System. At your service, despite the circumstances.”

 

“Okay, I’m Emmet Brickowski,” Emmet introduced himself, and then hesitated. This Queen was a violent invader of Fynzruum. He couldn’t afford to trust her. “You’re being short-sighted, you know.”

 

Lucy started. “Emmet, when did you get so sarcastic?”

 

He shrugged. Bad Cop answered, “Rex,” but Emmet knew that that wasn’t entirely true. He was complicit in this, after all.

 

Queen Watevra merely scoffed. “What do you expect from one of _his_ followers?”

 

“What do you mean, _followers_?” Emmet and Lucy both said at the same time.

 

“Do you have a history with Rex?” Unikitty asked.

 

“They’re old enemies,” Emmet answered. He glanced back at the Queen. “Does that describe it?”

 

She nodded. “More or less. And we were at a stalemate, until y’all decided to snatch his prized possession for fun.”

 

 _He_ was Rex’s prized possession? Emmet supposed that he shouldn’t be so shocked, as Rex had already told him this in so many words. Still, hearing it from someone else set his heart to beating furiously.

 

“Emmet isn’t anyone’s possession!” Lucy exclaimed. And, uh, yeah. That suddenly made a lot of sense. He wasn’t _Rex’s possession!_ How _dare_ Queen Watevra call him that!

 

“How could you be so callous, my Queen?” Sweet Mayhem said in disbelief.

 

“It’s not callousness, Mayhem, it’s honesty about an opponent,” said the Queen bluntly. “ _I_ don’t think Emmet is a possession, but Rex does.”

 

“No he doesn’t!” Emmet defended.

 

“That’s how his mind works,” the Queen continued, as if Emmet hadn’t spoken. “And he’ll take this as a re-declaration of war.”

 

“We can defend ourselves, right, my Queen?” Batman asked.

 

The Queen’s expression softened a mite. “Yes. I think.”

 

“Then what’s there to worry about?” Batman wrapped his arms around his husband. “Jokes, you know Rex. What do you think?”

 

The Joker laughed. “Oh, yeah, Watevra’s right. This is a terrible idea. Like, literally the worst.”

 

“Then why are you helping us, if you’re so pro-Rex?” Lucy snapped.

 

Joker cast his eyes down at her. “Oh, honey, I’m not pro-Rex. I’m pro-my husband’s peace of mind, and pro-chaos. And this promises to offer both.”

 

“Dang villains,” Lucy grumbled, but she turned to Emmet, and in a much nicer tone of voice, said, “Don’t worry. We’ll keep you safe.”

 

The Joker let out a loud cackle as they got closer to Systar, leaving Emmet to wonder whether he was really worth fighting a war over.

 

******

 

A month and a half.

 

That was how long Emmet was able to stand the tension in Systar.

 

In the beginning it was fine. He was nothing if not adaptive. Batman loaned him some clothes (in various shades of black and gray, which made him look more like Rex than ever), and he was assigned a mint-green bedroom in the castle. And he decided to take a break from his Rex-ful life. He told himself that he needed it.

 

The problem was, of course, that he was basically on house arrest. At the beginning, living in a real castle had been fun– he had explored secret passageways, and made friends with all of the Queen’s servants. But after a couple of weeks of this, the servants were sick of  him, and he’d explored the palace from top to bottom. It was like his first week on the Rexcelsior, all over again.

 

At least Rex had always made time for him, he found himself musing bitterly on occasion. He ate meals with his friends a couple of days a week, but they were busy most of the time. Metalbeard and Benny were upgrading Systar’s armada, under the supervision of Sweet Mayhem. Batman seemed content in enjoying his royal status, along with Unikitty, of all minifigures. The two were at the spa or the tennis courts nearly every day together, making them the most oddly-matched duo in LEGO history. Lucy, despite her initial happiness at Emmet’s safety, seemed to be avoiding him, which was… frustrating. Not that Emmet really wanted to air out his problems with her, but it had created a weird tension that everyone at the castle was acutely aware of. The Queen was busy governing (not like Emmet wanted to talk to her, either), and the Joker was running interference between Gotham and Systar (which was more of a bummer, as the Joker was the only other one with an insight into Rex’s psyche).

 

Still, Emmet needed to talk to someone. So, after six weeks of hair-tearing tension, Emmet grabbed the only person he could think to confront: Bad Cop.

 

“We need to talk,” he said.

 

Bad Cop stared at Emmet’s hand on his sleeve. “You and I have nothing to say to each other.”

 

“Please?” Emmet asked. “I have a question for you, and I’m not sure anyone else will give me a straight answer.” He dropped his hand back to his side.

 

Bad Cop hesitated, like he wanted to bolt, but his helmet switched around. “Bad Cop,” Good Cop said sternly. “Talk to the man.”

 

 _Switch_. “I don’t want to,” said Bad Cop.

 

 _Switch._ “You have to.”

 

 _Switch._ “I don’t _want_ to.”

 

Switch. “You _have_ to.”

 

 _Switch._ Bad Cop groaned, and then looked at Emmet. “What do you want?”

 

“You’re not my friend, as much as I tried to get you to be. Why did you step in?”

 

The question seemed to take Bad Cop by surprise. “I…” He shook his head, but didn’t switch to Good Cop. “Come on outside with me, Emmet.”

 

Emmet followed Bad Cop out to a nearby balcony, and Bad Cop closed the sliding door behind them.

 

“So?” Emmet prompted.

 

“I’m not going to be good at this, Emmet.” Bad Cop said. “I’ve never been good. But I’ve traveled through a lot of intergalactic circles, and I’ve heard about Rex’s Revolt. That’s what the Systarian–Fynzruumese war is called here, but then the Queen doesn’t want to admit she lost. In Fynzruum it’s called the Systarian Expulsion. In other systems they call it the Relative War. Because it’s such a divisive subject that it causes people to exclaim ‘it's all relative.’”

 

“Bad Cop,” Emmet said gently.

 

“I know, I know, I’m rambling,” Bad Cop waved him off. “But my point is that I’ve heard a lot of different points of view. And over and over, I’ve heard tales of Rex. How bloodthirsty he was. How he initiated. And how he refused peace, no matter how hard Queen Watevra pled.”

 

He bit his lip, and then his helmet switched around. “When Bad Cop saw you at the Duplo Double, I knew we had to take action,” said Good Cop. “You may not be our friend, exactly, Emmet, but we care about you.”

 

 _Switch._ “So I met up with the Joker. I knew he was Rex’s friend, but he was also close with Batman, so I figured I could talk some sense into him. I explained about Rex, and while he didn’t necessarily care about the war, he was surprised to realize that Emmet, Rex’s boyfriend, and the Special who had stolen his fiancé’s girlfriend and then disappeared, were one and the same. I convinced him to help me corner you at his wedding. His job was to distract Rex, and mine was to separate you from the others and get you back home.”

 

“You didn’t count on me having a panic attack, though,” Emmet supplied.

 

“No,” Bad Cop agreed. “And Rex was smarter than I thought. Recognized what the Joker was doing, and, however accidentally, stopped me from securing you. And, of course, I didn’t want to tell too many people about the plan, for fear of alerting Rex.” He snorted. “Some good that did. Shaped up to be the worst honeypot ever.” Bad Cop dropped to the floor. Emmet plopped himself next to the cop, crisscross.

 

“Well, it worked,” Emmet said hollowly. “You got me.”

 

“Right. And now we’re on the brink of a second Relative War. Great job on the stealth, BC,” Bad Cop said sarcastically.

 

“Don’t blame yourself,” Emmet said hesitantly.

 

“You’re right,” said Bad Cop. “It’s Rex’s fault.”

 

Emmet didn’t respond to that. A part of him wanted to yell out that Rex was only trying to protect him, but he knew that saying that would only brand him as a traitor. Instead, he kept his mouth shut, and white hot guilt curled in his stomach.

 

Bad Cop didn’t notice. “Darn Rex. Now we have to be constantly vigilant, because we have no idea where he’ll strike.”

 

“Bad Cop, do you think I’m good?” Emmet asked.

 

Bad Cop blinked in surprise. “What? You’re one of the nicest minifigures I know.”

 

“I didn’t ask whether you thought I was nice. I asked whether you thought I was good.”

 

“Why wouldn’t you be good?”

 

Emmet looked down at his lap. “Say I sympathized with Rex, for some reason.”

 

He could hear Bad Cop quietly utter a curse. “I’d say that that didn’t mean you were bad. Just that you’d been brainwashed.”

 

“But what if I hadn’t been brainwashed? Or even if I had, would it matter so much in the short-term?”

 

“If you _had_ been brainwashed,” Bad Cop said carefully, “we would have to start undoing the damage before we could examine your moral state.”

 

“You’re not listening to me,” Emmet said irritably. “Does it matter so much whether he brainwashed me? I’m still feeling these immoral feelings. If my feelings don’t define my character, I don’t know what does.”

 

“Your actions define your character,” Bad Cop said. “And you didn’t participate in any of the immoral things that Rex did.”

 

Emmet shrugged. He didn’t want to reveal Rex’s “alternate-him” status, because that would only morally complicate things. “Am I complicit, though? I enjoyed his company. I kissed him. We had sex. Doesn’t that implicate me?”

 

“He didn’t force you?” Bad Cop asked. Emmet only raised and lowered a shoulder. “Shoot, Emmet, I don’t know–“

 

Emmet turned to Bad Cop. “You can curse around me. I don’t care.”

 

Bad Cop looked more shocked at this than anything that Emmet had said prior. “Wait, _what?”_

 

“What?” said Emmet. “I know you want to. It’s not like I don’t know what curse words are– Rex used them a lot.”

 

“Are you kidding me? We’ve all been holding back for nothing?” Bad Cop exclaimed.

 

“ _We?”_ Emmet tilted his head to the side.

 

“Me, Wyldstyle, Batman, the others,” Bad Cop explained. “We thought you didn’t like to hear cursing, so we didn’t curse around you.”

 

“Where’d you get that impression?” Emmet didn’t really have an opinion on it. He supposed that was Rex’s influence.

 

“I don’t know! Are you saying that for five years, we could have cursed freely around you? _Fuck!”_ Despite himself, Emmet laughed, and after a moment, Bad Cop joined him.

 

As their laughter wore off, Emmet said, “But seriously, Bad Cop, what should I do?”

 

“Just try to be free of him.”

 

“That’s...complicated. We’re so twisted up together that I can’t tell how much of me is a part of him, or how much of him is a part of me. It leaves me wondering how much of myself I still am. Or maybe I’m more myself than I’ve ever been. I think that the more you see of me, the more you’re not going to like me.”

 

Something behind Bad Cop’s sunglasses flickered, and Emmet got the feeling that the cop wanted to throw his arms around him. Instead, the cop cleared his throat, and said, “I feel the same way.”

 

“Is there any hope for us?” Emmet asked. “Can we be better?”

 

The cop turned his head to look into the distance. “I don’t know. But I think we oughta try. And if Rex can repent,” he said, answering Emmet’s unspoken question, “I think he deserves to try too. But I haven’t seen him repent.”

 

Bad Cop stood up. “In the meantime, I think you should make up with Wyldstyle. Shit’s been eating at her, and I think it’ll make you feel better.” With his hand on the door, he offered Emmet a small smile, which Emmet returned. “Let her know she can swear in front of you, too. That’ll cheer her up.” And then Bad Cop was gone, leaving Emmet to ruminate.

 

************

 

Emmet flagged the Joker down, later, and asked, “Hey, Joker, did you betray Rex for me?”

 

The Joker, who was multitasking between talking into a Bluetooth earpiece, scribbling on a clipboard, and solving a Rubix Cube, said, “Depends on your definition of betrayal.”

 

“Did I ruin your friendship, is what I’m asking,” Emmet clarified.

 

“Oh, our friendship has always been on-and-off,” answered the Joker. Tapping his earpiece, he said, “Harls, you still there? Tell your geef to set up reinforcements around Wayne Manor.” He frowned. “Yes, I did really say ‘geef.’ You know who I mean. Poison Ivy.”

 

“And it’s because of me that it went from on to off?” Emmet supplied.

 

“Yeah. But so what? We’ll work it out. We always do.” To his earpiece, the Joker said, “And tell Freeze to drag the Penguin out from whatever bunker he’s in. Ass needs to contribute to society.” Back to Emmet, the Joker added, “Sorry about that. There have been a few skirmishes on the outskirts of Gotham, and I gotta keep my family safe, you know?”

 

“I understand,” said Emmet. “Do _you_ think Rex is a bad person?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” the Joker said nonchalantly. “But so am I, and Batman fell head over heels for me. So I wouldn’t worry about your feelings.” He winked at Emmet. “Besides, if this is really bothering you, I know a great psychiatrist.” He tapped his earpiece, twisted his Rubix Cube, and turned on his heel, leaving Emmet to wonder whether he’d been helped at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes, a rex-less chapter, for that prime audience who read this fic and said, "boy, this is good, but i could really go for less rex content!" stay patient, friends!
> 
> you get a gold star if you know what movie the line "the more you see of me, the more you're not going to like me" comes from!
> 
> me mental health is getting better, guys, but i'm definitely nervous to post this one! let me know how i did!!


	10. run but you can't hide (i'll find you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmet resolves his issues with Lucy and Queen Watevra Wa'nabi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to @goodboiz-wearvests, YET AGAIN, because of a really cool project that they're doing based on this fic!! Keep your eyes on their blog for updates, but as a person who has seen it, i can promise you that it's AMAZING!
> 
> enjoy the chapter!

“Lucy?” Emmet asked. 

 

Lucy turned around in the hallway, relief written on her face. “Oh thank god, you initiated this.”

 

Emmet half-smiled. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

 

Lucy smiled back, somewhat guiltily. “A little bit.”

 

“Can we talk about it?”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Lucy leaned back against the hallway wall. “What’s up?”

 

“Um…” Emmet didn’t know how to phrase it. “We’re broken up, right?”

 

Guilt wrote itself onto her face, and she sank down to sit with her back against the hallway wall. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“ _ Lucy _ .” Emmet sat down next to her.

 

She laughed sheepishly. “I know, I know. But this isn’t going to be fun.”

 

“Yeah,” Emmet agreed.

 

And then, at the same time, they both said, “I’m sorry.”

 

Emmet blinked. “Huh? Why are  _ you  _ sorry?”

 

“Because…” She took a deep breath. “Because me and Sweet Mayhem got together when I thought you were dead. Why are you sorry?”

 

“Because me and Rex got together when I thought you had abandoned me.”

 

They both sighed. “Emmet, I would  _ never  _ abandon you,” Lucy said. 

 

“Just cheat on me,” Emmet remarked bitterly. She shot him a hurt glance, and he winced. That was the Rex in him. “Sorry.” 

 

“Emmet, we looked for you all over the galaxy. We looked under Dry-ar, we scoured Gotham, we even went back to Apocalypseburg. But you were gone, and so was Rex. We thought he had killed you and then gone into hiding. We never imagined that he was… holding you hostage.”

 

“He wasn’t, though,” Emmet interjected. Lucy looked at him incredulously. “Holding me hostage implies that he’d ever give me up.”

 

Lucy bit her lip. “Right. I guess I was just upset over your murder. I couldn’t stand the edgy persona that I’d built up around myself– remember what you said, when I told you I liked you the way you were? You said, ‘the real Lucy would never say that.’”

 

Emmet choked out a laugh. “Did I really say that?” The Queen’s wedding had seemed like a lifetime ago. 

 

“Yeah,” Lucy whispered. 

 

“Sorry,” he apologized again. 

 

“Right. I kept telling myself that if I had just been a little more open with who I was, that you wouldn’t have–“ She choked up, unable to finish the sentence. 

 

Emmet touched her gently on the shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself. It was– I was so stupid for not trusting you.”

 

She shrugged. “I guess that I really needed Sweet Mayhem. She consoled me, held me when I cried, and when I told her I wanted a new lease on life, she helped me with my new self-image. Helped me pick out suits when I admitted that I wanted one. Encouraged me to not be afraid to be both feminine and masculine. And… you know I’ve always been bi, Emmet. I just… I don’t know.”

 

“You don’t need to blame yourself for falling for someone, Lucy,” Emmet managed. “I don’t know Sweet Mayhem, but you looked happy with her. At the wedding, I mean. She seems like the kind of woman who brings out the best in you.”

 

“Really?” Lucy seemed surprised by this. “I thought– I mean, I had this dumb thought that you wouldn’t like my new persona. That you fell for a cool punk rock rebel, not a bisexual mess of internalized misogyny.”

 

“Lucy…” Emmet would  _ never  _ not like Lucy. “I’ll always love you. Whether you wear black or pink, or a suit, or a dress, or a hoodie, you’ll still be the minifigure that inspired greatness in an uninspired construction worker. And listen, I don’t know exactly how messed up I am, but you shouldn’t blame yourself for any of it. Maybe we loved each other romantically, maybe we were only ever platonic, but I don’t want to stop talking. You’re my best friend, Lucy. Rex forgot that. I don’t want to.”

 

Lucy seemed thunderstruck by this miniature speech. Finally, she said, “Rex is an alternate you that became what I wanted you to become, isn’t he?”

 

Emmet released a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding. “Yeah. How’d you figure it out?”

 

Lucy smiled slightly. “I know my best friend.” Emmet returned the smile, but quickly it dropped off of her face. “You have to tell me what he did to you.”

 

“Um… I had sex? There was that,” Emmet said. 

 

“You had sex. With an alternate version of yourself,” Lucy repeated flatly. 

 

“Yeah,” Emmet looked down guiltily. “I guess that sounds pretty freaky, huh?” Lucy nodded. “In my defense, he’s a pretty distant alternate version. He’s me from five years in the future and two in the past, not me from two minutes ago.”

 

Lucy unsuccessfully suppressed a snort of laughter. Emmet laughed too. “Ah, shoot, I shouldn’t– I shouldn’t encourage you,” she said. “This is freaky enough.”

 

“Yeah,” Emmet agreed. “But it’s sort of funny, in a dark sort of way, isn’t it? ‘Local construction worker is seduced by alternate version of himself.’ Only in our world, right?”

 

“Only in our world,” Lucy agreed. “It just amazes me that you could ever become the sort of person that initiates a bloody revolt against Systar.”

 

“I won’t,” Emmet said confidently. “Rex’s existence is so temporally messed up that I know I won’t grow up to be him. We’re cosmically two different people at this point.”

 

“Hey man, whatever helps you sleep at night,” Lucy joked. She and Emmet fist-bumped.

 

Emmet bit his lip. He didn’t really want to talk about it, but Lucy had shared what was eating her. Maybe it would make him feel better if he talked about it. “Rex shot me under Dry-ar, just like you thought. But I didn’t stay there for long. He came back for me, and told me he was taking me back to his ship. He didn’t want me to turn into him. He said he was going to use intense psychological conditioning on me.”

 

“Holy moly,” Lucy gasped. 

 

“You can curse if you want,” Emmet assured her. “Rex taught me all of the curse words.”

 

“Wait,  _ seriously?”  _ Lucy laughed. Emmet nodded. “You’re telling me that we’ve all been avoiding swearing around you for five years, only to be foiled by Rex  _ fucking  _ Dangervest?”

 

Emmet burst out laughing. “Oh my god, this is the weirdest possible timeline!”

 

Lucy nodded. “So? After that, what happened?”

 

“Oh, well, he drugged me, removed my legs, and took me back to his ship, gave me  _ back  _ my legs, and then we had sex.”

 

“What the  _ fuck?”  _ Lucy exclaimed. “Okay, Emmet, you’re an adult. You know how fucked up that is, right?”

 

Emmet shrugged. “Is it more or less screwed up if I enjoyed it?”

 

“I–“ Lucy opened and closed her mouth a few times. “I honestly don’t know. I’m sorry, Emmet.”

 

“I don’t, either.” Emmet half-smiled at her. “And he treated me so nicely, too. Made me breakfast, bought me stuff, took me out places, kissed me roughly.”

 

“I don’t know that that’s much of an excuse,” Lucy replied.

 

“Yeah.” Emmet couldn’t disagree. “I guess I just like the way that he liked me. He treated me like I was the most precious thing in the world.”

 

“But that’s just it, Emmet,” Lucy said softly. “You’re not a  _ thing. _ ”

 

“I’m not a thing,” he echoed. “I’m my own person.”

 

She nodded. “Rex doesn’t own you.”

 

“I know that,” Emmet replied. “But he made me feel like I was special. Like I was a prince. Can you blame me for enjoying that?”

 

Lucy was silent, and so Emmet continued. “I know everyone is special. But I was special to  _ him.  _ He told me about the war, about how many people were lost on both sides.”

 

Lucy sucked in a breath. “Emmet, he was a warmonger. Queen Watevra begged for peace, but all he wanted was war. Those deaths are on him.”

 

“Yeah, I know. And he does, too. Lucy, I think the war changed him. I think maybe I changed him. If you had been able to look into his eyes when he was talking about it… the guilt is killing him, Lucy.”

 

Lucy made eye contact. “He’s going to retaliate against us for taking you. Why do you think Sweetie has been checking up on the armadas?”

 

Emmet shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

 

“How can you tell?”

 

“I just have a hunch.”

 

A smile tugged at the side of Lucy’s mouth. “You really are Stockholmed, huh?”

 

“Maybe so. But he is too.”

 

“You mean he has Lima syndrome? That’s the opposite of Stockholm.”

 

“Yeah.” Emmet laughed. “I guess I’m more of a bi mess than you are, huh?”

 

“Your bisexuality has nothing to do with this mess,” Lucy laughed. 

 

“I’d argue that my bisexuality has  _ everything  _ to do with this mess!” Emmet jabbed back. They both giggled. 

 

When they had calmed down, Lucy said, “Look, Emmet. I won’t pretend I’m okay with this. Or that I even totally understand it. Fucking yourself...is definitely morally ambiguous.” Emmet bit his lip again. “But I don’t know that I have to understand it to support you. You’re my best friend, and I spent so long missing you that I’m just happy you’re alive, and okay, and not mad at me. I’m not going to judge you for believing the best in Rex. It’s your best quality. Maybe he doesn’t deserve your trust, but you don’t have to force yourself to hate him just to please the rest of us.”

 

Emmet wordlessly held his hand out, and Lucy took it. They sat there, holding hands, until Emmet said, “Thank you.” He could barely manage the words. He felt like he was lost in a foggy sleet of his own confusion, being pelted by his morality. It was warming, fortifying, nourishing, to have someone reassure him that he wasn’t awful. That he was allowed to work out these feelings on his own terms, in whatever way he felt was best, and that regardless they didn’t think of him any differently. He hadn’t been lying, earlier– he really  _ had  _ missed Lucy. 

 

************

 

Emboldened by his talk with Lucy, soon after, Emmet walked into the throne room. “Queen Watevra, I want to talk to you.”

 

The Queen turned around from the Portable Entertainment Center, which was displaying a map of Systar. “Hey, Emmet. I’ve been wondering about you.”

 

“Yeah. Me too,” he replied. 

 

“You’ve been wondering about yourself?” The Queen’s form shifted. 

 

“No, I’ve been wondering about–“ He sighed. “Can we speak privately, please?”

 

Queen Watevra’s eyes flicked over her guards. Emmet played with his hands– this was a long shot. She had absolutely no reason to trust him. He just wanted to talk, just the two of them. Away from listening ears. 

 

“Leave us,” she said, but it was directed at her guards rather than Emmet. 

 

“Yes, my Queen,” the guards all said in slightly confused unison, lining up before tromping out the door. 

 

When they had all left, and the door had clanged shut, Emmet took a step forward. “Queen Watevra Wa’nabi, officially, I’m your prisoner of war. Everyone is buzzing about a second attack by Rex. I know that my friends initiated my capture, but as a Queen, isn’t that a poor tactical move? Why did you allow this? Was their vouching enough? I’m not worth a war. You shouldn’t  _ want  _ to protect me! I’m in league with Rex! What is going on?”

 

The Queen’s face remained stiff for only a few seconds before she burst into laughter. Emmet stared at her in abject disbelief. She wasn’t taking him seriously! This was war and peace! 

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she exclaimed, using one of her appendages to wipe a tear away from her eye. “You haven’t guessed, yet?”

 

“Are you making fun of me?” Emmet asked indignantly. 

 

“Emmet, we’ve  _ met  _ before!” she said excitedly. “Don’t you know who I am?”

 

“You’re the Queen of the Systar System,” he said slowly. 

 

Her eyes sparkled. “Allow me to refresh your memory.” As he watched, her physical form rippled. Blocks broke apart and rebuilt themselves up into a way that felt  _ right.  _ Emmet took a step back. 

 

“Hi, Emmet.” She was… the heart. That he had given to the Systarians all those years ago. His token of friendship, his attempt at peace. He had assumed the heart had been destroyed, just like all of his other attempts at peace. And yet here she was. 

 

Stupidly, the first thing that came out of his gaping mouth was, “Does this mean I’m your dad?”

 

She found that funny. “If you want to be. That’d make you...what? King Father? Some sort of royal? You deserve that, Emmet. You’re responsible for all of this.”

 

His stomach sunk. “All of the bloodshed.”

 

“No! All of the beauty, the originality...thank you, Emmet. You’ve inspired the whole galaxy.” 

 

He was just one construction worker, barely even a master builder, and yet… here was his creation, telling him that he was the spark that breathed life into the cosmos. 

 

It was entirely too much. 

 

He looked down at his hands. “This was you. This is your galaxy, your life…”

 

“But your love,” Watevra finished. 

 

He looked back up at her, and she smiled.  _ She wasn’t an evil queen. Rex was  _ wrong. 

 

Emmet practically jumped. Rex! Queen Watevra being the heart that he made… meant that the Relative War had been between himself and his creation. “Watevra, what happened in the war?”

 

“Oh, Emmet…” Watevra sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Please?” Emmet climbed two of the stairs up to her pedestal. “Rex told me his perspective on the war. I don’t know how much of what he told me was true. I want your side, too.”

 

Watevra’s blocks shifted into a more anatomical form. “Well,” she said. “It began when he attacked my forces at Hiddnstache.”

 

“He told me that,” Emmet said. “But he also told me that you were kidnapping Fynzruumese minifigures and brainwashing them.”

 

“What? I would never do that!” the Queen exclaimed. “I was trying to bridge the gap between our two societies!” In a slightly calmer voice, she explained, “Fynzruum didn’t have a ruler like the other systems. Usually, in order to strengthen ties, I talk with a monarch or ambassador. Fynzruum was disorganized, so to make the first move I scooped up a random group of citizens and treated them to a day at the spa and a banquet.”

 

“But Rex saw you,” Emmet filled in. “He was trying to rescue them…”

 

“And in his eyes, I captured them,” Watevra finished. “Yeah. The citizens that I had taken warmed up to me right away. Some of them even stayed in Systar. So I continued with this, because I wanted to get the majority of Fynzruum citizens on my side–“

 

“And then Rex happened.”

 

“And then Rex happened,” she nodded. “He came out of nowhere, with his action movies and foul language, and tore up an entire fleet of my ships. He was a Master Breaker, which was completely foreign to me. We were caught by surprise by an enemy who could destroy our very bodies. He was the opposite of everything that you taught us.”

 

Emmet bit his lip. He couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t tell Watevra that Rex was an alternate version of him. It would completely shatter any building trust between them. Even though she was his  _ daughter.  _ That hurt him. He didn’t want to keep secrets from family. Instead, he asked, “So what happened?”

 

She shrugged her shifting shoulders. “You already know, don’t you? Rex rallied the Fynzruum citizens around him, and they waged bloody war against us. My troops were forced to fight back, but half of my army was in Apocalypseburg, fending off your attacks. A lot of Systarian and Fynzruumese soldiers were broken.”

 

Emmet cast his eyes down. He knew the next part of the story, but he asked anyway. “You asked for peace?”

 

“Over and over,” said Watevra. “He never took it well. At the beginning he would yell that he would never submit to my ‘evil empire’s grasp.’ As the war dragged on, he became more reserved. I couldn’t understand why: he was winning most battles, albeit with heavy losses on both sides. He’s a master tactician. He always seemed to be one step ahead of me.”

 

Ah. So that would be the time travel, then. Rex’s words echoed in Emmet’s ears. 

 

_ “She wanted peace. Proposed an alliance over and over again. But I was… angry. I didn’t want to ally with someone like her, I told myself.” _

 

Watevra and Rex both spoke about the war with the same genuine remorse. If he could just get them together, to talk, to see each other for who they really were… An idea began to form. 

 

“Finally, we agreed to a white peace,” Watevra continued. “As in, ‘let’s just pretend the war didn’t happen, sweep up the bodies, and call it a day.’ I withdrew my troops from Fynzruum, and there’s been a division ever since. It sucks. I wish we could be closer, but he hates me.”

 

“He won’t.” The words didn’t sound as confident as Emmet felt. Watevra raised an eyebrow. “I’m serious. We just need to get you two in the same room, and then I can make things make sense.” Once Rex knew that Watevra was the heart… everything would change. Emmet was sure of it. 

 

“Emmet, it’s not that easy,” said Watevra. “We’re not allied. I can’t just ask him over for dinner. Our policy is that we leave each other alone.”

 

“So let  _ me  _ invite him,” Emmet argued. “It’s my plan, and he’ll come if he knows I’m here.”

 

She almost looked like she was considering it, but she shook her head. “Too risky. There’s a lot of ill will towards him here. Having us both in the same room is just begging for assassins. And, of course, assassinating the ruler of Fynzruum is the number one way to bring about a second war.”

 

“What?” Emmet’s brow furrowed– he couldn’t have heard that right.

 

“Uh, assassination is the number one war starter?” Watevra cocked her head. 

 

“No, no, the other thing. Rex is–“

 

“–the ruler of Fynzruum? Yeah?” Watevra shifted into a trapezoidal shape.

 

“WH-WHAT?” yelled Emmet.

 

“I thought you knew that!” 

 

“I did not know that!”

 

“You  _ lived  _ with him, Emmet!”

 

“Yeah, but I found out about the war thing, like, five minutes before you kidnapped me!” Emmet exclaimed. “He couldn’t talk about it for a while! And now you’re telling me he’s a king, too??”

 

“The war and the king thing are connected. Why the heck would he not give you the whole story?” Watevra asked. 

 

“Well, that’s my Rex!” Emmet exclaimed bitterly.

 

“You seem unnecessarily angry about this.” The queen gasped. “Are you regiphobic?”

 

Emmet sighed. “I’m not angry. Just… surprised.” He  _ wasn’t  _ angry, he just felt out of the loop. It was hard to plan when nobody was straight with you. “Can you explain, please?” It felt like he was asking a lot of people that these days. 

 

“There’s not that much to explain.”

 

“Yes there is! You just said that Fynzruum didn’t have a ruler!”

 

“Yeah, they didn’t,” said Watevra. “When we  _ started  _ the war. We called white peace, and one of the conditions for my withdrawal was a more organized Fynzruumese government, to prevent something like this happening again. There was a clear candidate on everyone’s minds, and he was almost unanimously supported. His subjects call him Rex.”

 

“ _ I  _ call him Rex!” exclaimed Emmet. 

 

Watevra stopped clean in her tracks. “Emmet, you dumb… oh my god.” She shook the blocks composing her head area. “Did you know that Rex wasn’t his real name?”

 

_ Yes.  _ “No,” he said out loud. 

 

“It’s a title,” Watevra exclaimed. “Rex. It means “king” in Latin. Because according to him, ‘every edgy kingdom uses Latin root words.’” She scoffed. 

 

So his name  _ didn’t  _ stand for Radical Emmet Xtreme? “So what’s his real name?” Emmet asked carefully. 

 

“Nobody knows,” said Watevra. “He keeps that information close to his chest. He’s always been oddly cagey about that–“  _ I wonder why,  _ thought Emmet, “–so his subjects call him by his title only.”

 

“Is he a good king?” Emmet wondered. 

 

“Let me put it this way: no matter how much he told you, you know him better than anyone else. He’s an absentee king. He has no idea how to rule in times of peace. And yet, for some reason, the citizens of Fynzruum adore him. They’ve never had a king before. They don’t know what to expect.”

 

“I don’t think he ever wanted to be king,” Emmet said. He couldn’t imagine having that much responsibility shoved on him all at once, especially immediately after a brutal war had been concluded. 

 

“Well, tough,” Watevra said bluntly. “People rely on him. I offered to help him shoulder the responsibility if we allied, but you know what he said?”

 

“A swear word and then a denial?” Emmet asked. 

 

“Bingo! He’s insufferable, but I can’t help but feel bad for gloomy Fynzruum. He doesn’t govern at all. His poor subjects… I just wanted to make them happier, and look what happened.”

 

“Watevra, I mean no disrespect, but maybe they don’t want to be happier.” Emmet shrugged. “That’s Rex’s whole M.O. He doesn’t want to be forced to be happy. And, according to him, neither do the citizens of Fynzruum. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole king thing, but maybe he doesn’t rule because he’s scared of screwing up more than he already has. He’s never been a leader before. But he rejects your help because he can’t stand you nipping at his heels. He doesn’t want to be overtaken by you again. He’s proud, Watevra, too proud for his own good. We need to talk to him, for the good of everyone. Between you and me, he  _ will  _ listen.”

 

“You sound like you know him well,” Watevra said. If only she knew. 

 

Behind Watevra, the Portable Entertainment Center began to vibrate, and “Catchy Song” began to play. The screen flashed a message:  _ INCOMING FACETIME FROM FYNZRUUM. _

 

“Speak of the Devil,” Watevra said. “Get behind me. If he sees you, I don’t know how he’ll react.”

 

That made sense, and so Emmet hid behind Watevra’s mass as she accepted the call. “Rex,” she said in greeting. 

 

“Queen Watevra.” Rex’s rich baritone sent a shiver through Emmet. He peeked around the corner of the Queen, and was rewarded with a good view of Rex on the screen. He looked tired, like he hadn’t slept well for months. He was still wearing his Rex Dangervest™️ brand vest, but over it was a red cape, with an ermine trim. Gracing his head was a crown, but he was wearing it over a crusader’s helmet, like a knight might wear. Emmet wished that he could make fun of Rex’s regalia, but the fact was that Rex wore it extremely well. Too well. Emmet blushed beet red and ducked back behind Watevra. 

 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” the Queen said courteously.

 

“Are we really going to beat around the bush, here?” he heard Rex say. “ _ Give him back _ .”

 

“And what if he doesn’t want to go with you?” she replied. 

 

“He can tell me that, face to face, once you stop holding him hostage,” Rex said. 

 

“I’m not holding him hostage!”

 

“Then let him leave!”

 

“Just to have you retake him? Of course not!”

 

Emmet gritted his teeth. Was he just an object, a Macguffin in an intergalactic game of intrigue?

 

“You are being super immature.” He heard Rex groan. “If this is honestly the way you want to play this, I have some good news, and some bad news,” Rex said. 

 

“Bad news first. I find it hard to believe that you’re capable of doing good, Rex,” said Watevra. Emmet winced.

 

“The bad news is that I am fully prepared to go to war with you over this.” If Rex was bothered by Watevra’s comment, his tone didn’t betray it. 

 

“And that would be very stupid,” said Watevra. “My forces aren’t divided, like they were last time. I’ve been upgrading my forces, and I’m on my home turf. Attacking Systar would be a suicide mission.”

 

“Whoever said anything about attacking Systar?” Emmet could practically hear the smile in Rex’s voice. “How much has your husband told you about Gotham?”

 

“What are you saying?” Watevra asked, her tone turning dark. 

 

“Because, if you don’t know, Gotham is suspended on two plates. And if any measure of force hits those two plates, they’ll break apart. And then the whole city is  _ kaput _ .”

 

“Rex,” Watevra warned. Emmet could hear how her voice was fighting to stay cool. 

 

“Poor Queen Watevra. I know you’re not as close with your husband’s husband as you’d like to be, but have you really heard nothing about the skirmishes near Gotham? The Joker’s been fending me off for a month now. He doesn’t know it’s me, of course, but I thought you’d be able to put the pieces together.”

 

Emmet bit his lip. He longed to yell out, to get Rex’s attention, to will him to  _ stop it _ , but he knew he should stay quiet. 

 

“My forces surround Gotham. But the  _ piece de resistance  _ is the Rexcelsior, which is currently hovering above Gotham. On my command, it will torpedo the two plates holding the city together, plunging everyone in it– including your stepson and father-in-law– into the abyss.  _ And there is no way you can get here in time to stop me _ .”

 

Emmet gasped, but thankfully this was covered by Watevra, who said, “This is fighting dirty, Rex, even for  _ you. _ ”

 

“You started it!” Rex exclaimed. In a more normal tone of voice, he continued, “But, like I said, there is some good news.”

 

“Which is?” Watevra asked tersely.

 

“I’m also willing to negotiate an alliance. A real one, and by your rules, no less. I’ll withdraw from Gotham, I’ll come meet with you, and Systar and Fynzruum will finally be working together. All it will take for peace is for you to agree to my one term, and I think you might have an idea as to what that one term is.”

 

“I will  _ never _ let you torture Emmet! That’s an  _ incredibly  _ unhealthy foundation for an alliance!”

 

Rex laughed, a cruelly heroic laugh. “Queen Watevra, I completely agree. I told you, I want to play by your rules. The trading of a member of your court wouldn’t be in line with that, right?”

 

“Right,” said Watevra. “That’s not the proper basis for an alliance. It would have to be an exchange of land, a trade agreement, a contract signed–”

 

“–or a marriage pact,” Rex finished. The Queen gasped, and he chuckled. “That’s what you did with Batman, right?”

 

“I–” Watevra began to say, but Rex cut her off. 

 

“You have a day to think about it before I act.” Emmet peeked around the corner and saw the dark fury in Rex’s eyes as he said, “And Watevra? Ask Emmet what he really wants. Because he knows me better than anyone else does, and he’ll make the right choice.”

 

The screen went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh, plot.................
> 
> you can find me at @halobolts on tumblr! i LOVE your comments, whether they're three-paragraph book reports or collections of emojis describing your emotional journey through the chapter. also if any of yall draw king rex art for this chapter, i will die, i have been sitting on that idea for a fuckin while now.
> 
> thanks for reading!!


	11. shine so bright, my bling bling blind you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang talks about the implications of Rex's proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! It's been a while! First of all, THANK YOU for the flood of King Rex art! Damn, that means a lot, seeing my plot twist loved by so many people! Know that every interpretation of King Rex's design is correct, even the really goofy ones! Second, check out Sawa (@goodboiz-wearvests)'s AWESOME comic adaptation of the first chapter of this fic! It's absolutely amazing, and they deserve to be showered with love. Read it here (https://imgur.com/a/OIZdPLm).
> 
> Okay, that's it! Enjoy the fic!

Watevra called everyone into her throne room immediately after Rex’s announcement, giving Emmet barely any time to process the magnitude of what was happening. 

 

His friends filed in, one after another– Benny and Metalbeard still covered in axle grease, Bad Cop holding a cup of coffee (despite it being seven PM), Batman riding on Unikitty, the Joker still messing with his Rubix Cube and chewing on a pen, and Lucy and Sweet Mayhem, holding hands. 

 

“Hey, babe,” Batman rumbled. “What’s up?”

 

“I’m trying to figure out this cube, but I have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE peeled the stickers–“ the Joker began. 

 

Batman cut him off. “Not you-babe, babe. Her-babe. You guys are both ‘babe,’ but right now I’m asking her-babe, not you, babe.” Everyone who was not Batman winced, and they all silently agreed that  _ babe  _ was ruined now.

 

“Joker,” Watevra addressed. “What’s the situation in Gotham right now?”

 

The Joker laughed nervously, and spat out his pen. “It’s funny you should ask that. The Rexcelsior just docked above the city, a few hours ago.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. 

 

The Clown Prince shuffled. “Well… Rex is sort of your mortal enemy. But he isn’t mine. I figured that if you knew he was over Gotham, you’d order me to fire at him. But if you didn’t know… I could maybe talk to him. We’re kinda friends. I guess I was hoping to talk him into joining us.”

 

Watevra sighed for a long time, and then said, “You know, a few hours ago, I probably would have told you to fire at him.” To the whole crowd, she said, “Rex is over Gotham and is planning on collapsing the whole city unless we give him what he wants.”

 

“ _ WHAT _ ?!” The Joker yelled. “Wait, then fuck all that stuff I just said about being friends with him! He thinks he can fuck with  _ my  _ city?”

 

“ _ Our  _ city,” Batman said. 

 

“ _ Our city!”  _ The Joker repeated.

 

“Oh my god,” Batman gasped. “Robin and Alfred.”

 

Watevra nodded tensely. “He mentioned them specifically.”

 

“He wouldn’t kill them, right, Joker?” Batman asked. 

 

“No!” Emmet exclaimed. Rex was a lot of things, but even he would draw the line at child murder. 

 

Joker hesitated. “I don’t know. He could be bluffing. I don’t want to take that chance with my family.”

 

Sweet Mayhem stepped forward. “Okay, so this means war then, right? A second–“ and here she swallowed, “–second Relative War?”

 

“It’s not as easy as all that, Mayhem,” said Queen Watevra. “Gotham is a while away.”

 

The group looked at Benny for confirmation, who nodded. “At least two days of traveling, even for our lighter vessels.”

 

“Upt’a week for the heavier-power ones,” added Metalbeard. 

 

“Rex gave us a day to think about his offer. But even with that…” Watevra didn’t finish.

 

Mayhem’s eyes widened. “There’s no way we’ll get there in time.”

 

The Queen nodded. “Once time runs out, he’ll attack immediately, and our forces will still be a day away.”

 

Bad Cop raised his mug. “And what are his demands?”

 

Watevra began to say something, and then hesitated. Emmet decided to take the initiative. “My hand in marriage.”

 

Everyone at the hall gaped at him and his resolute expression. Bad Cop threw his coffee to his feet, shattering the mug and sending everyone skittering out of the way of the scattered bricks. “Absolutely not,” said the cop.

 

“Emmet,  _ no! _ ” Unikitty exclaimed. 

 

“Why not?” Emmet shrugged. “I mean, obviously it’s not–“

 

“I did  _ not  _ rescue you for that  _ maniac  _ to extort you back!” Bad Cop yelled. 

 

“I mean, technically we all rescued him,” Benny mumbled. 

 

“That’s right!” Bad Cop grabbed Benny’s arm. “And are we just going to take this sitting down? We can’t let Rex walk all over us!”

 

“To play Devil’s advocate–“ the Joker began. 

 

“Oh, shut the fuck up, _ sympathizer _ ,” Bad Cop snapped. 

 

Benny stepped on Bad Cop’s foot and linked their arms tightly together. “Bad Cop, calm down. We haven’t done anything yet.”

 

To Emmet’s surprise, this actually did seem to calm Bad Cop down. “Okay,” said the cop. “Okay, yeah, you’re right, Ben. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead, Joker.”

 

“Uh, right,” said the Joker. “To play Rex’s advocate, you have to admit that this is a smart tactic. In marrying Emmet, he’d neatly connect Fynzruum, Systar, and Apocalypseburg. It’s a good way to gain power without an alliance.”

 

“Actually, he proposed an alliance,” Queen Watevra said. 

 

“I don’t think he wants power,” Emmet attempted to explain. “He never wanted to be king. He’s not a warlord at heart.”

 

Sweet Mayhem raised an eyebrow at him. Lucy said, “All he wants is you.” 

 

Emmet nodded. “And he’ll do anything to get me back.”

 

“Why?” Batman asked. Everyone turned toward him. “You all didn’t think I was listening, but Batman is  _ always  _ listening. Why you, Emmet?”

 

Emmet couldn’t think of a satisfactory answer on the spot. “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh–“

 

Lucy, angel that she was, jumped in to say, “Does it really matter, Batman? We can dissect Rex’s psyche all day, but that’ll do jack shit to actually help figure this situation out.” Emmet doubted the validity of that claim (after all, he suspected that the only way out of this was to appeal to Rex’s psyche), but he was mostly relieved that Lucy had rescued him from a barrage of awkward questions. 

 

“She’s right,” said Sweet Mayhem. “He’s a sociopath. He could just be focusing on Emmet because he’s convenient to his plots.” Alright, so that wasn’t correct, but the less attention that was paid to his and Rex’s relationship, the better.

 

“So what are our options, then?” Queen Watevra asked the group. 

 

The Joker touched his earpiece. “I’ll try to get in contact with Harley in Gotham. She can assemble the rogues, try to form some sort of defense.”

 

“It won’t nearly be enough,” Batman pointed out. “Even if they have access to the BatCave, and Barbara gets the police to work in tandem…”

 

“I know, honeybunches,” said the Joker. “But it’s better than nothing. I’ll get her to find and secure Alfred and Robin, too.”

 

“They’ll want to fight,” Batman pointed out. 

 

“ _ I know, honeybunches _ ,” the Joker repeated. “It’s not an ideal solution, but it’s all I have.”

 

“Thank you, Joker,” said Queen Watevra. “Do whatever you can. Mayhem, any ideas for our forces?”

 

Mayhem tapped her chin. “I mean…” She paused, like she was afraid to speak, but finally continued. “Okay, this is definitely fighting dirty, but it’s all I have.”

 

“He deserves it. Continue,” said Bad Cop. 

 

“What if we accepted his proposal? And– no, hear me out–“ She raised a hand to silence Bad Cop, who had opened his mouth in protest. “And sent our forces out anyway. It would buy us some time. Rex would remove his forces from Gotham, and we could intercept them on the way to Systar.”

 

“There are so many ways that could go wrong, though!” Emmet exclaimed. He felt like he would throw up. 

 

“He’s right,” Benny corroborated. “That relies on Rex keeping his word and withdrawing all of his forces from Gotham. Not to mention that we would only be able to intercept them with the light ships. That battle… I don’t like the odds, Mayhem.”

 

“Tell me something I don’t know, Benny,” Mayhem replied. “It’s a long shot, but at least it’s a battle. At least we have a chance.”

 

“If it goes wrong, though,” Queen Watevra mused, “Rex will be furious that we turned on him.”

 

“He’ll see it as his alliance being rejected,” Emmet added. 

 

“We’d be instantly catapulted into war,” Watevra finished. 

 

“We’ll be instantly catapulted into war no matter what!” Sweet Mayhem argued. 

 

“Not if I accept his proposal.” All eyes turned to Emmet, and he cleared his throat. “This– this isn’t worth it. I don’t want to start another war. I’m not worth dying over.”

 

“Oh, Emmet,” Lucy said gently. “Can’t you see that you are?”

 

Emmet couldn’t help himself. He burst into tears. Lucy walked over and wrapped her arms around him, and he melted into her hug. 

 

With his head still buried in her shoulder, she exclaimed, “This is absolutely outrageous– I think we can all agree on that point. But Emmet is the only one of us that knows Rex intimately–“

 

“Haha, phrasing,” the Joker interrupted.

 

Lucy ignored him. “–So this is going to be uniquely stressful for him. I think we should be mindful of his perspective, even if it’s not what we want to hear.”

 

Emmet picked his head up. “Thank you.”

 

“Of course,” the Queen said. “Emmet, if you need to excuse yourself–“

 

“What? No!” Emmet protested. He pulled away from Lucy, but kept one arm wrapped around her shoulders. She, in turn, kept one arm wrapped around his waist. “I want to… defend him.”

 

“ _ Stockholmed _ ,” sang Bad Cop. 

 

“And so what if he is?” Lucy snapped. “Let him state his case. Who is it hurting?”

 

“Him, potentially,” fired back Bad Cop. 

 

“Listen, I won’t deny that Rex did some bad stuff to me,” Emmet said. “Because, uh, he definitely did. But… I don’t think he’s beyond hope.”

 

“He’s responsible for an incredibly violent war,” said Bad Cop flatly. “I don’t think we should let him off the hook.”

 

“I’m not saying that,” Emmet said, fighting to keep his tone diplomatic. “But if we fire on him, he’ll… I don’t think he’ll ever come back from that.”

 

“And then we’re all fucked,” said Lucy. 

 

“It’s still a battle,” Sweet Mayhem pointed out. “I’m sorry, Emmet, I just don’t like the idea of letting him  _ have  _ you, like some sort of… battle trophy!”

 

“But if we lose, he’s a battle trophy anyway,” the Joker said glumly. 

 

“And if we win, he’ll just travel back in time and try again.” Everyone turned towards Emmet. 

 

Bad Cop picked up one of the bigger pieces of his shattered mug and threw it down, ostensibly for dramatic effect. “God damn it!”

 

“Is that how he did it?” Sweet Mayhem tugged at her pigtails. “You’re kidding me!”

 

Even Queen Watevra’s mouth hung open. “That… absolute cheat! That’s how he predicted battles! I thought he was just a master tactician, but…”

 

“Yeah,” Emmet said. “It messed him up, too. Atomically. He’s nowhere and no one in time right now. I think that scares him. It’d scare me.”

 

“What does that mean in terms of our goals?” Lucy asked, keeping her arm around Emmet’s shoulders. 

 

“He doesn’t matter in the eyes of the universe,” Emmet answered.

 

Sweet Mayhem snorted. “The universe has the right idea, then.”

 

“He doesn’t think he matters to anyone but me. And I know he’s willing to do anything to win me back.”

 

“Including destroying both of our kingdoms in a fiery war,” said Watevra.

 

“But I think we can save him,” continued Emmet. “I think he might want to be saved.”

 

“How are you so sure?” Benny asked. 

 

Emmet shrugged. “How will I know if I don’t try?” Turning to Queen Watevra, he said, “I can’t live in guilt.” The unspoken  _ like you and Rex  _ hung in the air. “Give me a chance and I promise he’ll listen.”

 

Watevra’s face stayed expressionless. “Emmet, I hope you know the magnitude of this.”

 

“I do, your highness.” He stepped forward. “This might be our only shot at peace.”

 

“Then what do you need me to do?” As an afterthought, she added, “And you don’t have to call me ‘your highness,’ Dad.”

 

“ _ DAD?”  _ everyone yelled in unison. 

 

“You know, because she’s the heart that I made as a sign of peace?” Emmet said. 

 

Everyone seemed to nod and accept this, except for Bad Cop, who, in lieu of throwing down his coffee cup, stomped on the floor. “What???”

 

“Oh, right, you weren’t at the wedding,” said Lucy. 

 

“Just move past it,” advised Benny, taking Bad Cop’s hand. 

 

“Haha,” the Joker laughed. “Emmet is Batman’s father-in-law.” After a moment, the smile dropped from his face. “Oh, shit, that means that Emmet is my father-in-law too.”

 

Emmet decided to get back on task. “Call Rex back. Agree to his proposal, but insist on an in-person meeting in a week to discuss the terms of an alliance. Promise him that I’ll be there, but don’t tell him anything more about me than that.”

 

Watevra nodded. “I’ll handle it, Emmet.”

 

“But if he betrays us–“ Sweet Mayhem said again. 

 

Emmet turned his head around. “If he betrays us,  _ I’ll kill him myself _ .”

 

Sweet Mayhem looked shocked, and then she smiled. She laughed into her hand, and then nudged Lucy. “I like this one, Luce.”

 

A tense, uncomfortable silence settled over the group. Batman finally cleared his throat and said, “So, Emmet… marriage, amiright?”

 

“Batman, can you read the fucking room?!” Benny exploded. 

 

Batman started to say something in protest, but then closed his mouth and shuffled awkwardly out. 

 

**********

 

“Can you do up my zipper?” Emmet asked, arms constrained in his form fitting finery. He was sprawled out over his mint green bed. 

 

“Only if you tie my tie,” Lucy responded, turning around from his mirror. 

 

It was the day that Rex was supposed to arrive, and the entire castle was in a tizzy. The servants had spent the entire week cleaning the place from top to bottom, and Watevra had mandated that everyone was to wear their very best. Unfortunately, since Emmet had been borrowing clothes from Batman, this meant that a tailor had to make him a special royal engagement outfit. The outfit was beautiful– a burnt orange tunic, brown pants, a cape, and worn suede boots– but it had turned out to be just a little too tight. 

 

“It’s not fair, you know,” Emmet complained, as Lucy zipped him up. “You already had the suit, so you’re comfortable in it. I have to go out and broker peace in new shoes.”

 

“Haha, sucks to suck,” said Lucy. The zipped-up tunic clung to his chest, robbing him of what little breath he had.

 

“I just don’t get why I have to dress like a prince, and you get to wear a normal suit.”

 

Lucy leaned forward, and Emmet took the two sides of her tie in his hands. “Shit’s regimented when you’re royalty.”

 

“But I’m not,” Emmet said. “Not really.”

 

“ _ Sure _ ,” Lucy snarked. “You being the father of the Queen of Systar has  _ nothing  _ to do with you being a royal. And I’m sure that if I asked Rex, he  _ definitely  _ wouldn’t say that you were a Fynzruumese noble, if not a royal.”

 

Emmet tightened Lucy’s Windsor knot. “You know what I mean. I’m a construction worker. I’m not better than anyone else.”

 

“Yeah.” She sighed, and sat down next to Emmet. “I know what you mean.”

 

“I never thought I’d say this, but I think I miss Apocalypseburg,” Emmet admitted. “Does that make me absolutely insane?

 

“Nah,” said Lucy. “Shit was simpler. Maybe less comfortable, but there wasn’t as much at stake.”

 

“It feels like I’m being judged based on what I mean to everyone else, rather than what I do.”

 

“Yeah,” Lucy said again. “You’re not alone, you know. There’s a reason that Sweetie goes by her war title, rather than her noble title.”

 

Emmet cocked his head. “Sweet Mayhem is a noble?”

 

“Yup,” said Lucy. “Duchess of Iridescence. It’s mostly an honorary title, given to her for her heroism, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it.”

 

Emmet nudged Lucy with his shoulder. “Since you’re dating her, does that mean you’re a noble too?”

 

Lucy socked him in the arm. “Shut  _ up! _ ” she laughed. 

 

He laughed, too. “We both have to suffer convention together.”

 

“Oh god, you  _ know  _ that I’m a rebel. Being treated like royalty is my worst nightmare,” said Lucy, placing a hand over her brow in mock distress. 

 

“Hey,” Emmet said, the smile remaining on his lips. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better.”

 

Lucy lowered her hand, and her smile faltered. “You’re welcome? How did you–?”

 

“I know my best friend,” Emmet said simply. 

 

“You’re nervous?” she asked. Emmet nodded once. “There’s a no-weapons rule for a reason. If he makes a move towards you, he’s done.”

 

“I know that,” said Emmet. “But this is my one chance to broker peace.”

 

“It’s not all on you,” said Lucy. 

 

Emmet raised an eyebrow at her. “Then who is it on? I’m responsible for everything that happens today.”

 

Lucy reached up and brushed his bangs behind his ear. “You’re so different now, Emmet,” she said softly. 

 

“Yeah, I know.” He stood up abruptly, and walked over to the mirror, squinting at his reflection. He didn’t  _ look  _ different. Well, okay, that wasn’t entirely true– his new clothes aside, he looked… older. He had been the same for five years in Apocalypseburg, but with Rex, he had aged quickly. He didn’t like that. He didn’t want to be mature.

 

“God, what happened to me?” he said lowly.

 

“You’re more mature.” He could see Lucy stand up behind him in the reflection.

 

“I hate it,” he replied automatically. 

 

“You’re not like he is, you know,” Lucy assuaged. “Not grown up the way he wants you to be.”

 

“How so?” Emmet asked.

 

“I don’t know.” She stepped up behind him. “I don’t think anyone thought you’d turn out this way, Emmet. Not that that’s a bad thing. You’re just different. Level-headed. Maybe a little cynical. And above all, wise.”

 

He half-smiled. “You think?”

 

She wrapped something around his shoulders. It was the light blue wool cape that the tailor had made for him. The perfect compliment for the perfect prince’s garb. “But you haven’t lost your optimism, and that’s something I really admire. You’re not innocent, but you’re still  _ you _ . Rex could learn a lot from you.”

 

“I hope he has,” Emmet said. Lucy fastened the cape tightly around his throat with a heart-shaped broach.

 

“I trust your judgement, Emmet. And if you end up as the co-ruler of Fynzruum, well, I can’t see a better future for the galaxy.”

 

Emmet threw his arms around her. She laughed in surprise. “Thank you, Lucy,” he said. “That was exactly what I needed to hear.”

 

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “You’re welcome. But you’re gonna mess up both of our outfits.”

 

“Who cares?” he replied. 

 

“Her royal highness, probably,” said Lucy, gently extricating herself from Emmet’s grasp. “And we definitely don’t want to get on the bad sides of both Rex and Watevra at the same time.”

 

“One good thing about Rex– he didn’t care about acting the part of a king,” Emmet mused, straightening his cape. 

 

“Here, take this,” said Lucy, holding two scabbards with jeweled sword handles sticking out of them. Emmet automatically reached for the simpler sword, but Lucy shook her head and held the richer one out for him.

 

Emmet reluctantly buckled it around his waist. “I thought there was a no-weapons rule?”

 

Lucy tightened the strap around her own waist. “They’re ornamental. Nobody uses swords anymore, except in ceremonies.”

 

Emmet lifted the sword part-ways out of its hilt. It was a rapier, but he couldn’t tell if the tip was blunted or not. “Huh.” He let it slide back into place. 

 

“One more thing,” Lucy said. “And then you’re free to work a miracle.”

 

Emmet laughed, although there was no real humor behind it. He was growing more and more nervous, despite her praise. “What’s that?”

 

She picked up a carved wooden box. “Don’t play dumb, Emmet.”

 

“Who says I’m playing?” he joked hollowly. 

 

“You want me to put it on you?” Emmet nodded, and so Lucy opened the box. He bent down so she could reach him, and closed his eyes. 

 

When he felt her hands leave his head, he opened his eyes, and confronted the mirror. His reflection now wore a delicate silver circlet. It was light on his brow, and he could almost pretend it didn’t exist. 

 

Hesitantly, he touched the center gem on the crown. “What kind of stone do you think this is? A moonstone? An aquamarine? Some sort of topaz?”

 

“I don’t know, Em,” Lucy said, setting the box down. 

 

He tapped it again. “Topaz, probably. Seems thematic.”

 

“What?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“Never mind. I’m just talking to myself.”

 

“Don’t snap right away,” she said humorously. “Wait until marriage, at least.”

 

“Yeah.” The pit in his stomach threatened to overwhelm him. He reached his hand out wordlessly for Lucy.

 

“Hey.” She squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. You’re the prince that Rex wants you to be now.” That didn’t make sense. Rex didn’t want to be a king, so why would he want Emmet to be a prince? But convention was convention, and they all had to play by the same rules if there was any chance of agreement. 

 

Emmet took a deep breath. He had a secret weapon. He had to keep reminding himself of that.

 

“I’ll be with you the whole time,” Lucy promised. He squeezed her hand back in silent thanks.

 

From outside, Emmet heard a commotion. He and Lucy walked over to the window, hand in hand, to see the Rexcelsior docking. If he craned his neck, Emmet could see a fleet of ships escorting their king.

 

Emmet cleared his throat and forced his voice to be steady. “Rex is here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love seeing your comments!!! hmu on @halobolts! if yall make more art for this fic: just know that i am sending all of my love to you. also i'm working on a playlist for this fic, to be released when it's done! (i DO know where i'm going with this, guys) thank you for reading!


	12. and if you're wondering who's to blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex has arrived, and it's time for the two kingdoms to meet, face-to-face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay! god, it's been like 20 years since i last updated this, and to tell yall the truth, i've gotten antsy!! 
> 
> this is definitely the longest chapter i've added to this, and i struggled with whether to break it up or not (in truth because i was pretty antsy) but finally i decided not to, and to just present it to yall in its entirety!
> 
> so enjoy!

“May I present, in audience to the good Queen Watevra Wa’nabi, the court of the Rex of Fynzruum!” announced the Duplo herald, who was shaped like a candy cane. 

 

Emmet snuck a glance to his left, at Queen Watevra. She was shaped like an octagon– a subconscious stop sign. Emmet couldn’t blame her. He was a mess of nerves on the inside. He constantly caught himself fiddling with the handle of his sword or the edge of his cape. 

 

He and Watevra were standing on a tiered platform. They were on top, as the Queen and Questionable Royal Father. On the next tier was Batman, the Joker, and Unikitty, as husband to the Queen, Clown Prince of Gotham, and Princess of Cloud Cuckooland. The next tier had Sweet Mayhem, Benny, Bad Cop, and Metalbeard, as military officials. Finally, on the bottom tier was Lucy, along with the rest of Watevra’s court. Emmet disliked the fact that Lucy was so far from him, but he had to play by the rules. Play along now, hug Lucy later.

 

The tiered platform was divided down the middle by a orange and pink carpeted staircase. The carpet extended to make an aisle that led all the way to the throne room doors, which everyone had their eyes on. Rex and his court were on the other side of those doors. Everyone knew, independently and for different reasons, that that meant trouble. 

 

Despite the tension, the candy cane herald floated above the aisle, twirling around and tossing glitter into the air. It was insufferable. 

 

“Preeesenting,” crowed the herald, “The Lords Megamind, Metroman, and Minion, and the Lady Roxanne!” The doors were wrest open, and four minifigures burst through. One was blue. One was  a fish wearing a robot suit. Emmet doubted any of it mattered. 

 

The minifigures walked down the carpeted aisle, and, when they reached the platform stairs, split off to stand on either side of the aisle. 

 

“Lord Hank, Lord Manny, and the Honorable Dr. Tenma!” At the herald’s voice, three men walked through the doors. They were all fairly normal, and so Emmet didn’t pay much attention to them. Instead, he stole a glance at Lucy. She looked calm enough, but her hand was on her ornamental sword, rubbing the jeweled handle distractedly. 

 

“Lawrence Gordon, Adam Stanheight, Annie Wilkes, and Jigsaw!” Emmet surveyed the rest of his friends. Benny was twitching, which seemed to only be accentuating Mayhem, Bad Cop, and Metalbeard’s anxiety. Batman and Joker had scooted closer to each other, and were holding hands. Unikitty was the only one who noticed Emmet’s stare, and turned upwards to flash him a sharp smile. This earned them both a glare from Watevra, but the gesture was appreciated. 

 

“General Sienna, Lady Chloe, and Victor!”  _ What? _ Emmet jerked to look at the doors. Sure enough, coming down the aisle was Chloe from the sex shop, her arm linked with an unfamiliar minidoll, and Victor from the bar. Chloe was wearing a corset dress, while the other minidoll– General Sienna, he guessed– was wearing armor. Victor was dressed exactly the same as he was in the bar, which made Emmet doubt whether the alien vampire had more than one set of clothes. 

 

As the trio of familiar faces reached the end of the aisle, Victor turned to one of the members of Watevra’s court. “Balthazar,” he sniffed. 

 

“Victor,” the blue vampire replied coldly. Wow. Definitely a history there. 

 

Chloe tilted her head up and waved at Emmet. “Hi, cutie!” she exclaimed, before Sienna nudged her and hissed something. Chloe put her hand over her mouth, and leaned on Sienna as they moved to one side of the aisle. Victor moves to the other side. 

 

“And now, a little reference for nobody, Pete Heath and Damien Locke!” As the next two people moved down the aisle, Emmet’s head spun. Why would the  _ sex shop staff  _ be here as a part of Rex’s entourage? 

 

He leaned over and whispered to Queen Watevra, “Who were those two minidolls?”

 

“Shh!” she hushed, seemingly instinctively, but then whispered back, “General Sienna defected from me in the war, and went on to become one of Rex’s more formidable officers. I guess the other one is her partner.”

 

Emmet nodded. Things just kept unfolding, in the oddest of ways. 

 

“And now, the inner circle of knights– Dame Betty Rizzo, Lady Sandra Olsen, and Sir Smith!” Emmet bit his lip, as Rex’s friends strode down the aisle. All three were wearing armor. Rizzo had her hand on Sandy’s shoulder, and her cape brushed the floor. Three medals decorated her breast. Sandy’s armor was decorated with a pink sash, with a black poodle decoration. And despite his heavy steel armor, Agent Smith seemed to float down the aisle. 

 

When the three knights reached the end of the aisle, Rizzo tilted her head up to the top of the platform. Her cold gaze swept over Queen Watevra, but when it reached him, Emmet could almost swear that there was a hint of sadness in her gaze, as if to ask,  _ “Why didn’t you stick to the program, Emmet?” _

 

At the bottom, Lucy cleared her throat. Rizzo’s gaze snapped back to her. Both minifigures placed a hand on their ornamental swords. Sandy and Smith stepped back, and a look passed between the two women.

 

Emmet played with the edge of his cape, and after a moment of sustained eye contact, Rizzo tipped her head in acknowledgement, without lowering her chin. With her shoulders back, she walked to one side of the aisle. Sandy followed her, and Smith took his position on the other side. 

 

“And now!” the herald cried. “Presenting his majesty, the unifier and first king of Fynzruum...the ineffable Rex!”

 

Emmet’s breath caught in his throat. Both groups on either side of the aisle bent to one knee. The doors swung open. 

 

The first thing that struck Emmet, after all this time apart, was how  _ tired  _ Rex looked. He had been able to sort of tell that from the video chat, but in real life it was so, so apparent that Rex hadn’t slept in a month, maybe two. Otherwise, he looked composed. His crown sat straight atop his head, and his ermine cape poured off of his shoulders into a long train behind him. In one hand, he held a golden scepter, while the other clutched the sword strapped to his waist.

 

He practically glid down the aisle; however, his face was furrowed and solemn, not matching his easy gait. He looked like Emmet felt– although probably for entirely different reasons. Rex seemed to be all business. Unlike Rizzo, he didn’t seem cold or angry– he just was… resigned. It was an odd look on someone that was usually so fiery and passionate. 

 

Emmet didn’t like it. 

 

When Rex reached the end of the aisle, his knights– Rizzo, Sandy, and Smith– stood up, but the rest of his court remained kneeled. Rex put one foot on the first step of the platform, and then looked up at him. Their eyes met, and the raw desperation in Rex’s eyes threatened to make Emmet’s knees buckle. 

 

And it was, in precisely that moment, that Emmet decided he had had enough. 

 

He could hear the gasps of the crowd, both on the platform and off, as he jumped down from the platform onto the stairs. He dashed down the stairs, his cape flying behind him, his eyes locked on Rex. Any confusion at Emmet was quickly replaced by a relieved smile, and Rex spread his arms out, one boot still planted on the stairs, in anticipation. Emmet got closer and closer, sword clanging against his leg in its sheath, and jumped at Rex–

 

–and punched him, full on in the face.

 

Rex tumbled back in surprise under Emmet’s weight. His back hit the ground, and his crown tumbled off of his head. Emmet knelt on top of Rex’s chest, his own circlet knocked askew, and grabbed two fistfuls of Rex’s ermine cape, pulling Rex’s dazed face close to his. “How  _ dare  _ you threaten that nice kid who showed us to our seats at the wedding!” he yelled. Behind him, he could hear the Joker cheer. 

 

Around them, Rex’s forces drew their swords and pointed them at the monarchs. Rex blinked slowly. “...I’m sorry,  _ what _ ?”

 

“That kid Robin reminded you of me, and you were totally willing to kill him just to kidnap me back! He’s like, thirteen! Are you out of your fricking mind?”

 

Strangely enough, with Emmet on top of him, shouting accusations, Rex  _ relaxed. “Emmet _ ,” he breathed. “Emmet, you’re okay.” He reached up to touch Emmet’s cheek. 

 

Emmet slapped his hand away. “Don’t do that with me!” He couldn’t handle Rex trying to be tender. Not now. Not when he was so heated. 

 

A sword poked him in the small of his back. “Sir,” said one of the minifigures. “Get off our king.”

 

“That’ll happen later,” Rex joked from underneath him. Emmet dug his knee into Rex’s chest once more, before he reluctantly rolled off of him and stood up. Rex followed, adjusting his cape behind him. Rizzo had retrieved the crown when it had fallen off, and now she placed it neatly back on Rex’s head. Emmet chose to keep his crown lopsided as he glowered at Rex. “Hi, Emmet.”

 

“You have a lot to explain,” Emmet said in response. 

 

“I…” Rex hesitated, but a firm look from Emmet prompted him to nod. “Yeah. Yeah. I guess I do.”

Up close, his eye bags were extremely prominent. He spread his arms out. “Can we just… um… right now?” 

 

Emmet considered it. He almost considered it. But finally he shook his head. “No. Not now.” And he turned away from his fiancé. 

 

Above them, the candy cane herald cleared his throat. “Prince Emmet of Systar, everyone!”

 

*******

 

Obviously, the introduction of the two courts couldn’t continue after Emmet’s stunt. Too much chaos had gotten in the way of protocol, and after much discussion between the ministers in charge of organizing the event, it was decided that the two courts should disregard the rest of the introduction ceremonies and reconvene in the grand council room. This was where they had originally been heading, anyway, so Emmet didn’t feel too bad for his interruption. 

 

After the break (and a fistbump from Lucy), the courts sat across from each other in the council room. Watevra and Rex sat at both heads of the table. Watevra was flanked on either side by her husbands, while Rex was flanked by Rizzo and Smith. Emmet sat between the two rulers, with Lucy at his right hand. 

 

There was an awkward tension that permeated the room, creeping into everyone’s lungs and stifling any pleasant banter that might have otherwise occurred. After a while, Watevra cleared her throat, and asked stiffly, “Rex, what are your intentions here?”

 

Just as stiffly, Rex replied, “You know what I want.”

 

“ _ Rex _ ,” Watevra warned. 

 

“Right, right, I have to play by your stupid rules,” Rex grumbled. 

 

“ _ Rex!”   _ Watevra warned again, more insistently. 

 

“Fine.” Rex put his hands behind his head. “I desire the hand of Emmet Brickowski in marriage.”

 

“ _ Prince  _ Emmet,” corrected the Joker. 

 

“Seriously?” Rex asked in surprise. “You made him a prince? God, I didn’t realize that he was that important to you.” He smiled, but there was no humor behind it. “Or maybe it’s just because he’s important to  _ me _ , and you want to sink your claws and leave your mark on anything I care about.” 

 

“Rex.” This time, it was Rizzo that said this, putting one of her gloved hands in front of Rex’s chair to prevent him from getting up. 

 

“I mean, being a prince is cool and all,” interjected Batman, to nobody in particular. “But you know what’s cooler? Being a prince  _ and  _ a duke. Which I am. Besides being a billionaire and a superhero, I have  _ two  _ noble titles. I’m a prince-duke. A pruke.”

 

“A dunce?” Lucy called out. This earned her a few dark looks from the more regimented members of the courts, but Emmet squeezed her hand under the table, and, despite his clear anger, Rex let out a short laugh.

 

Batman, naturally, took offense to this. “You got a problem, bro?” Interestingly enough, this was not directed at Lucy, the cracker of the joke, but at Rex. “Come at me!”

 

Rex was unfazed. “You want me to  _ come at you?” _ he asked, looking at Batman through his lashes, an amused smile playing at his lips. 

 

At the same time, Watevra and the Joker both exclaimed, “Don’t touch him!”

 

“Cute.” Rex’s smile grew. “I’m glad to see that the relationship is working out, Queen Watevra, Joker.”

 

“Oh, eat shit!” Joker snapped. 

 

Watevra shot a look at the Joker, but quickly redirected to Rex. “Yes. Make no mistake, Rex,

I care very deeply about my family. It’s why we’re here.”

 

“What a coincidence.” Rex leaned back in his seat. “So do I.”

 

“You don’t have a family,” replied Watevra. 

 

Rex looked cool as can be, but Emmet was adept enough at recognizing Rex’s body language to see that he was actually offended at that. “I  _ had  _ a family, and then you  _ took him from me _ .” Even though his voice was level, his body language gave Emmet the impression that he was going to slam his hand down on the table. Emmet sank down in his seat, and gripped Lucy’s hand.

 

Watevra tilted forward. “So you want Prince Emmet’s hand? And what does Systar get out of this?”

 

“The assurance of alliance through all further intergalactic conflict,” Rex replied. “My forces are great–”

 

“Mine are much greater in number,” interrupted Watevra.

 

“Ah, but I have powers that you can’t replicate,” retorted Rex. “It’s a sound basis for an alliance. Your numbers with my technology–”

 

“–would form an army that could conquer any system,” the Queen finished.

 

Rex grimaced. “Theoretically.”

 

The two monarchs stared at each other, and it was clear to Emmet what was going on in their heads: they were both wondering if the other would actually use their allied forces for universal domination. Emmet knew that, for both of them, the answer was no. The question was, did they know that?

 

Lucy broke the silence. “And Emmet would do… what, exactly?”

 

Rex blinked, and turned to her and Emmet. “What do you mean? He’d be my husband.”

 

“No, no, I know,” Lucy explained. “But, like, what would he  _ do _ ? Are you just going to keep him chained to a bedpost, or what?”

 

“Chained to a bed– Lucy, I’m not the villain here!” Rex exclaimed, in disbelief. Several members of Watevra’s court shot him incredulous looks. Several members of Rex’s court returned those incredulous looks with forbidding looks.

 

“Right,” Lucy said flatly. “But you’re not answering me. Would he be an ornamental figurehead, something for you to come home to… or would he have actual power?”

 

Rex paused. “That’s a damn good question, Lucy.” Emmet could almost see the anger evaporate from his eyes as Rex considered this. “I mean… I’d probably give him a sizable amount of power. Like, what’s the point of getting married if you don’t trust your partner with your power? I trust Emmet to be a good ruler to Fynzruum.”

 

Batman turned to his wife and husband. “Why don’t I have any power in Systar?” he demanded. 

 

“Because you don’t want any, dearest,” replied Watevra. 

 

“Oh, right,” said Batman. “Governmental power is lame.”

 

Rizzo’s brow creased. “I don’t know that you can do that, Rex. Hand off your responsibilities to your husband, I mean. You’re our Rex, not him. What are you gonna do, abdicate?”

 

Rex stroked his chin. “Tempting.” When his court glared at him, he hastily added, “But I won’t give in to temptation! I’ve actually been thinking about a title to give Emmet. There’s no Latin word for ‘husband of the king,’ which just proves to me that all language is homophobic.” From her seat, Chloe snickered, before getting shushed by Sienna. 

 

Rex continued, “So it falls on me to come up with my own title. I was thinking ‘Reginex.’  _ Reginex Emmet.  _ It has a ring to it, doesn’t it?” He looked to Emmet for approval. 

 

Emmet considered the title. It was far more… ornate than he would have liked. He wasn’t anyone special. He didn’t have any use for a fancy title. But that was probably how Rex felt, too. And look at where they both were. “It’ll work.”

 

This was apparently all the validation that Rex needed, for he turned to Rizzo with renewed vigor. “And, Dame Rizzo, if I make up the title, then I get to decide the responsibilities of the position.”

 

She nodded. “True. I can’t fault you there, Rex.”

 

Rex smiled at her, and then turned back to Lucy. “There you have it. Emmet will have considerable responsibilities. I’m not going to  _ fucking torture him _ .”

 

“That’ll be a nice change of pace,” Lucy snorted. 

 

The effect of this comment was immediate. Rex turned beet red, and sat up. Likewise, Rizzo leaned forward. “What  _ exactly  _ are you implying about my king?”

 

“I’m sure you can figure it out,” said Lucy coolly. 

 

This would only make things worse! He had a plan! Or, well, the loose outline of a plan. Nevertheless, bringing up the fucked-up shit Rex had done to him mid-meeting wouldn’t help anyone! That was for later, in private! Emmet squeezed her hand. “ _ Lucy–“  _

 

“Lucy, calm down,” said Queen Watevra. Emmet breathed a sigh of relief. 

 

“I am calm,” said Lucy. 

 

“She raises a good point, however,” Queen Watevra continued.  _ Crud.  _ “How am I to be sure you won’t immediately hurt a member of my court the second you get your hands on him?”

 

“This is a political alliance first and foremost,” Rizzo answered. “If Rex jeopardized the safety of Prince Emmet, the alliance would be dissolved.”

 

“How do we know that he hasn’t hurt Emmet before?” Bad Cop asked. All eyes turned towards him. 

 

“Excuse me?” Smith replied. 

 

“You heard me,” said Bad Cop. “Before Emmet was a part of Systar, he was in Rex’s custody. How do we know that he didn’t torture him then?”

 

“He wouldn’t do that,” Smith said. 

 

“Oh yeah?” Bad Cop tilted his head. “Then I want to hear  _ him  _ deny it.”

 

Everyone turned to look at Rex. Rex set his jaw, but said nothing. 

 

Bad Cop threw his hands up in the air. “I rest my case.”

 

The members of Watevra’s court set to muttering among themselves. “Rex, what did you  _ do  _ to him?” asked the Queen herself. 

 

“That is for me and my fiancé to discuss privately after this meeting,” replied Rex stiffly. 

 

“You’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to let you marry Prince Emmet if you’ve hurt him.”

 

“Why not?” Rizzo’s voice surprised everyone. “Isn’t a political alliance worth more than one minifigure?”

 

“Dame Rizzo?” Sweet Mayhem took over for her Queen. 

 

“I know that you don’t want another conflict,” continued Rizzo. “And my king is willing to ensure that, and in fact is proposing an alliance, in exchange for a husband. Shouldn’t the needs of the many outweigh the needs of Emmet?”

 

“By  _ needs of the many _ , you mean the needs of Rex,” said Mayhem. 

 

Rizzo shrugged. “Maybe so. But my king is, for the first time, advocating peace. And as much as I think that’s dumb, I think it would be dumber to refuse his generous offer because of what he did in the past.”

 

“I just don’t feel that I can agree with this marriage if it means that Emmet is going to get hurt,” said Mayhem.

 

“Tough titty,” said Rizzo. “It’s not really up to you. It’s between Rex and Queen Watevra. Besides, Emmet will probably be safer with us.”

 

Emmet could practically feel Mayhem bristle. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” said General Sienna. “You’re the brainwashers.”

 

“You crush people’s personalities under your heels,” added Victor.

 

“We’re not brainwashers!” exclaimed Mayhem.

 

“A certain war begs to differ,” snapped Sandy.

 

“You started that war!” called a member of Watevra’s court, a minidoll whose face Emmet could not place.

 

“You started it! And we fucking finished it!” cried Rizzo. “Are you afraid of us?”

 

“They clearly are,” commented Chloe. “They kidnapped our Rex’s boyfriend.”

 

“They’ve probably already brainwashed him!” exclaimed Sandy.

 

Rex, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, tilted his head up at this. Even with his eyebags and reddish eyes, he managed to shoot an impressive glare at the Queen. “If you _ fucking  _ touched a hair on his head, or messed with his mind at all…”

 

“How dare you!” Watevra yelled. “As if I would  _ ever  _ hurt a member of my own court!”

 

“You, on the other hand…” Bad Cop trailed off. 

 

“That’s libel!” shouted Dr. Tenma.

 

“Emmet is one of ours!” yelled Jigsaw.

 

“We’re not the evil ones here,” Rex declared irritably, over his courtiers. “Joker, you know me. Back me up here.”

 

“Oh, you can fuck right off,” said the Joker.

 

“Are you still mad about me threatening Gotham?” Rex tilted his head quizzically. 

 

The Joker laughed lowly. “Emmet got in a good punch, but I swear to high heavens, Dangervest, if given the chance, I will come at you like a wild chimpanzee.  _ Nobody  _ threatens my family.”

 

After some consideration, Rex nodded once. “Fair.”

 

Rizzo brought her fist down. “Joker, you’re my friend. But if you try to hurt Rex…”

 

“You’ll what, race me to death?” the Joker jeered. “Get a grip, greaser. You’re on the wrong side.”

 

Emmet pulled his hand back from Lucy, and put his face in his hands. He was in hell. This meeting could not have gone more terribly.

 

“So, Queen Watevra, are you going to agree, or not?” Rex called across the table.

 

“I don’t know that I should!” Watevra exclaimed hotly. “Your court has been rather hostile towards me!”

 

“You would throw away an entire alliance because of my court’s conduct?”

 

“And  _ your  _ conduct, Rex! You have not proven yourself to be a worthy king at all during this meeting!” Watevra’s body surged and contorted. “You can’t even control your kingdom!”

 

“I shouldn’t have to control my kingdom!” Rex got to his feet. “You just want me to brainwash my citizens like you do!”

 

“It’s aggressive accusations like that that make me  _ not  _ want to ally with you!” exclaimed Queen Watevra.

 

“So that’s it, then!” Rex yelled back. “You want another war?”

 

“You would like that, wouldn’t you, warmonger?”

 

“Have it your way, you goddamn tyrant!”

 

“Bloodthirsty egotist!”

 

“Heartless suppressor!”

 

Next to him, Lucy put her hand on her ornamental sword. Around the council room, minifigures and minidolls did the same– Rizzo, General Sienna, Bad Cop, Benny, Sweet Mayhem… 

 

Emmet felt his heart beat faster and faster as his plans went up in smoke. All he had wanted was to get Rex and Watevra in the same room… get them to admit their guilt over the war to each other… and make them realize that they weren’t so different after all. But all he had succeeded in doing was cause another war. In trying to live without guilt, he had piled more guilt upon himself than Watevra and Rex combined. All he had wanted to do was show Rex his connection to Watevra. All he had wanted…

 

_ No. _

 

Emmet was NOT going to go out like this! He was a peacemaker, not a quitter! He wasn’t going to let anything bad happened to the ones he loved, no matter how much the ones he loved wanted to get in the way of that. And he couldn’t let himself get pushed around anymore, monarchical powers be damned. He brought his fist up, and slammed it down on the table.

 

The force of Emmet’s slam was so great that the table broke in half. The bickering stopped abruptly, and all eyes turned towards Emmet. Good.

 

Emmet stood up out of his seat. “Everyone be quiet! My name is Emmet Brickowski, and now  _ I’m  _ running this meeting! I’m the reason you guys are all here! So shut up, and let me say my bit.”

 

Although nobody took their hands off of their swords, Emmet sensed that he had surprised everyone out of their rage. Temporarily, anyways. “I’m from Bricksburg! I’m just a normal dude! And I never wanted to be anything more than a construction worker, but because of everyone here today, I took it upon myself to broker peace! But you know what? I may be a civil engineer, but I’m  _ done  _ being civil!”

 

“Watevra, Rex, one Relative War was traumatic enough for you both! Neither of you want a second one, so don’t start a war just because you think you have to! Make some peace, for goodness sakes, and in that you can air out all your dirty laundry from the war.”

 

Emmet turned back and forth between the rulers. “Rex,  _ I’m fine.  _ Nobody from Systar hurt me. On the contrary, I’ve been extremely protected the whole time I’ve been here. Watevra, Rex isn’t going to hurt me again. He feels extremely guilty over the first time. Rex, it was pretty fucked up what you did the first time. I’m not going to pretend I’m not mad as hell at you for what you did. Watevra, you’re not innocent either. You also held me hostage in order to get to Rex, no matter how noble my friends’ intentions were. I don’t appreciate that, either of you.”

 

“Emmet…” said both rulers at the same time, in exactly the same cadence. 

 

“No, I’m not done! You both automatically assume the worst of each other! You’re fully prepared to send innocent people to their deaths instead of giving each other the benefit of the doubt! Rex, Watevra isn’t brainwashing people, she’s trying to entertain your people! Watevra, Rex isn’t a warmonger, he doesn’t want to be happy like you want him! God! Just  _ talk  _ to each other! Get rid of all these councilors and just  _ talk _ !”

 

“Watevra, you’re a Queen! But Rex’s subjects don’t want a Queen, or a King, or anything! They want their Rex, who doesn’t care about cordiality and standards. He grants them independence, and you fail to recognize that that’s not a shortcoming– that’s why he’s in charge! You have to accept that what works for Systar doesn’t have to work for Fynzruum, and that’s okay! We’re just messes of systems held together by grudges and guilt! And yet, somehow, we all are still able to hope! We all hope that stuff is going to get better! And, on my honor, we’re going to  _ make  _ it be better! Rex isn’t going to become like you, and you’re not going to become like Rex, but peace will happen regardless! And I don’t care if you two will never like each other! This isn’t  _ for  _ you. This is for your citizens.”

 

Watevra looked sufficiently cowed. Emmet turned towards Rex. “And  _ you!  _ You shirk your responsibilities! The only reason your court is formed here is because you thought I was in danger! Otherwise, your government is dissolved and you pretend nothing has changed since before the war! You go on stupid adventures and joke around and drink, but it’s not enough, Rex! It’ll never be enough!  _ I’ll  _ never be enough to make you forget about the war! And you shouldn’t forget! You hurt people, no matter how much time travel you did! Let this be a lesson to you, Rex! Keep it in your heart that you have blood on your hands, and don’t  _ ever  _ let it happen again!”

 

Emmet took a shaky breath. “I can’t fix you. You can’t be fixed by anyone but yourself. And in order to do that, you have to stop running. Stop believing that having me close will bring the past back, because it won’t. The past is  _ dead.  _ Govern your kingdom. Be a leader. I know that you’re smart and tactical. You can be tactical in peacetime, too. You’ve done some bad things, but you have to make the conscious decision to repent instead of trying to forget or wallowing in them.”

 

To both of them, he yelled, “I’m not like either of you! I’m not a ruler, and I don’t care about power! And I’m not innocent, either. But you know what? I recognize that! I’m trying to be better, to process what I feel, and move past it! I’m not going to live in guilt like you two! And if you can’t agree to work your problems out, I’m gone! Straighten out your shit by yourselves! I love you both, but  _ fuck!” _

 

At the end of this rant, Emmet stood there, his fists clenched, panting. Both courts blinked at him. Some courtiers’ mouths hung open.  _ Good. _ Emmet felt exhausted from all the yelling. His throat hurt. 

 

There was a pregnant pause, and then Rex moved. He reached into one of his vest pockets, and pulled a small object out. He hesitantly began to approach Emmet, one hand out in front of himself, as if to assure Emmet that he meant no harm. Watevra, seeing this, stepped down from her chair and also moved closer to Emmet. 

 

When Rex was about five feet in front of Emmet, and Watevra was about three feet behind Emmet, both rulers stopped. Emmet kept his back straight as he turned his attention to Rex, watching, waiting for some sort of acknowledgement, some apology. 

 

And he got it. Rex sank down to one knee in front of him, and, with shaking hands, opened up the little box he was holding, revealing an orange and blue ring. “Emmet, that was… that was awesome. And totally deserved. Marry me?”

 

Emmet narrowed his eyes. “You realize that this is the worst possible timing, right?”

 

As nervous and sleep-deprived as he clearly was, Rex still managed a laugh. “Yeah, but… God, you’re the most badass person in the entire universe. And amazingly hot. And you can cut me down to size. And I’m so goddamn happy you finally found the words to tell me how to feel. I want to grow, Emmet. I don’t need you to grow for me, or be an emotional crutch… but I’d like you to grow with me. I think I love you, Emmet.”

 

Emmet covered his mouth and nose to hide the blush that formed. Rex, of course, noticed, and shot him a wink. His court had gotten out of their chairs and crept up behind their ruler, and although Emmet didn’t look behind him, he assumed Watevra’s court had done the same. 

 

No. He had to stay on task. Emmet sighed, and moved towards Rex. He placed one of his hands on Rex’s cheek, and Rex leaned into the touch. “Rex, I’d love to marry you…”

 

“But?” Rex’s expression dropped. 

 

“But there’s something you need to see first.” Emmet turned around, to the Queen and her court. “Watevra?”

 

“Yes?” the Queen replied. 

 

“I need you to show Rex your original form.”

 

She blinked. “Show him my… Emmet, are you sure?”

 

Emmet nodded. “It’s really important.”

 

“For him? Why?”

 

Emmet sighed again. It was time to come clean, no matter the consequences. He stepped backwards. “Because Rex is an alternate version of me.” Everyone in the room (minus Rizzo, Smith, the Joker, and Lucy) gasped. “He was trapped under Dry-ar for five years, and then time traveled two years into the past, to Fynzruum. He attacked you at Hiddnstache, and the rest is history. That’s why Rex is so cagey with his identity. That’s why he came out of nowhere. That’s why he wants me so badly.”

 

“Rex… is this true?” Watevra asked.

 

Rex visibly swallowed, but he nodded. “Yes. Yes it is, Queen Watevra.”

 

“Oh my god,” Watevra said lowly.

 

“Watevra? Your original form, please?” Emmet asked. Watevra nodded, and her form swirled and shifted and rearranged, until she she settled into the shape of a heart.

 

Years into the future, Emmet would wonder what triggered Rex to do what he did. Perhaps it was the realization that he had fought an entire war against his original creation of peace. Perhaps it was the severe lack of sleep. Perhaps it was even because Emmet had said his first ever swear word. Perhaps it was some combination of all of these. Whatever the reason, Rex, who was still on one knee, began to wobble. Before anyone could react, could make a move towards him, Rex was toppling over onto his side in a dead faint. The ring box flew out of his hand and skittered across the floor, to Emmet’s feet.

 

Rizzo reacted first, pushing forward to kneel at her king’s side. “Rex! Rex!” She grabbed him by the shoulders, picked him up, and shook him, but he remained firmly unconscious.

 

Watevra seemed dumbfounded at Rex’s reaction. Emmet turned to Rizzo. “Is he okay?”

 

Rizzo ignored him. Emmet had thought that she was angry before, but this was a whole other level: the perfect mix of concern, betrayal, and rage. “What did you DO to him?!” she shouted, at Queen Watevra.

 

“Me?” Watevra broke her silence. “I didn’t do that!”

 

“Bullshit!” Rizzo yelled. “You’re the brainwashing queen! This is your fucking trademark!”

 

“I’m not a brainwasher!” Watevra protested.

 

“Give it a fucking rest!” exclaimed Sandy. “This was all just a ploy to mess with our Rex’s mind! You awful backstabber!”

 

“You probably brainwashed Emmet, too!”  Jigsaw added.

 

“Yeah!” Annie Wilkes agreed.

 

Rizzo wrapped an arm around her lifeless king’s shoulders. “And to think,” she said solemnly. “I almost believed Emmet. I thought for maybe a second that this could work. Smith!” At her cry, Smith rushed to Rex’s other side, wrapped an arm around Rex’s other shoulder, and helped Rizzo lift Rex to his feet. Rizzo’s eyes burned right past Emmet and into Watevra. “But I know now that there’s absolutely no chance of peace. We will  _ never  _ get along. You just want to hurt us, to make us like you. This means war.”

 

“No!” Emmet couldn’t help the cry that ripped from his mouth.

 

Rizzo’s fiery eyes turned towards him, and there was only a hint of pity when she said, “I’m sorry they brainwashed you, Emmet. I’ll try to come back for you, because I know how much Rex loved you. But my first priority, right now, is to secure my king. Try to reverse...what she did him.”

 

“She didn’t do anything! She just transformed!”

 

“And cast some sort of spell on him. Like I said, Emmet, I’m sorry.” But not sorry enough to not declare war, clearly. “Come, troops.” And at her command, Rex’s entire court marched out of the council room, back to their ships.

 

When the door slammed behind them, Watevra’s court sat in shock. Finally, Mayhem cleared her throat. “They’ll… be returning to Fynzruum. They’ll get the heavy artillery, and come back. Means… we’ll have some time to prepare for war.”

 

Watevra was still frozen in heart shape. “Sure, Mayhem.” Her voice was totally broken, and tears began to run down her cheeks. Emmet felt like joining her.

 

The Joker cleared his throat, and joked hollowly, “Wow, I can’t believe I ever hung out with those guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. 
> 
> kudos make me happy, comments make me happier (because i read them in my email while i'm going about my day and this encourages me to write more). i have a twitter now, @halobolts. I'm still on tumblr, also @halobolts. follow me on those platforms for memes about this story. some very talented artists have made art for this fic, so you can also see those on those platforms! thank you for reading!


	13. it's awesome to win and it's awesome to lose!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmet boards the Rexcelsior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wassup, i'm back from my internet hiatus. i guess this is technically the last chapter? although i do have two epilogue type things planned, so be prepared for that. enjoy!
> 
> also tw: attempted suicide in this one. don't read that if that's a trigger for you– my mental health has sort have been all over the place, so that's why this took the turn that it did, but i can't blame you for not wanting to read that.

 

Everyone flinched at the Joker’s bad joke. “Joker,” Batman replied, in perhaps the softest, most tender voice Emmet had ever heard from the vigilante. “Maybe not the best time for a bad joke.”

 

“Well, I’m  _ sorry _ , honey!” the Joker snapped. “I don’t know what you want me to do! I’m the Joker! What do you want me to do, shrug and say, ‘we live in a society?’ Cause I can’t do much else to help here! I’m sorry!”

 

Emmet cleared his raspy throat. “No, Joker. It’s okay. You’ve done enough.” 

 

Emmet meant that as a compliment, but the Joker clearly took it as an insult. “You’re one to talk, Mr.  _ Prince-Who-Was-Promised!” _

 

“Hon, was that a _Game of Thrones_ _reference?_ ” Batman asked. “In this setting?”

 

“We’ve already referenced  _ Saw  _ and  _ Megamind! _ ” Joker exclaimed. “I don’t think that  _ Game of Thrones  _ is out of character!”

 

“What’s _ Game of Thrones _ ?” Benny wondered. 

 

“Alright, stop breaking the fourth wall, Deadpool,” said Lucy.

 

“Again! More references!” The Joker threw his arms up and stomped into Batman’s arms. 

 

“Guys!” Emmet exclaimed. “Let’s all calm down and talk about this.”

 

“ _ Let’s all calm down and talk about this!” _ Bad Cop mimicked. “The Emmet Brickowski story! How many times has that method worked, Emmet?”

 

“Bad Cop!” Benny exclaimed. “Don’t be terrible.”

 

For a moment, Bad Cop stood there, with his mouth open, looking like he wanted to retort, but then his head switched around towards Good Cop, and he took Benny’s hand and said nothing. 

 

Emmet decided that this was his opportunity. “Listen, everyone– we don’t have much time.”

 

“He’s right,” said Sweet Mayhem. “Benny, Metalbeard, come on. We need to get the armada up and running pronto. It was only a theory that they would go back to Fynzruum to get the big guns– they might just fire on us now. I mean, that’d be dumb of them, but it’s possible. And we need to be prepared.”

 

“What? No!” Emmet yelped. “I meant that we don’t have much time to intercept Rex’s forces–“

 

“–and perform a covert assassination?” Batman suggested. “Maybe, with my awesome stealth skills, I could sneak onto the Rexcelsior and finish him off. Gritty idea, Emmet.”

 

“No!” 

 

“Right, right,” Batman muttered. “You’d probably want to finish him off… sort of poetic, like that… you killing a bad version of yourself…”

 

“Nobody’s killing Rex!” Emmet said firmly. 

 

“Awwww!” Batman groaned. “Why not?”

 

“Don’t you have a code against killing?” Emmet questioned.

 

“ _ You  _ don’t!”

 

“Come on, Batman!” Emmet exclaimed in disgust. 

 

“What?” Batman gestured to the rest of Watevra’s court. “I’m just trying to tie this story up cleanly!”

 

“No,” said Queen Watevra quietly. Everyone jumped. “Emmet is right.”

 

“My Queen–“ Sweet Mayhem began. 

 

“And so is Sweet Mayhem,” the Queen added. “We need to get our armada primed. I’m not denying that. But in light of recent revelations… I don’t know that I can fire on Rex.”

 

“We’re irrevocably connected,” Emmet said somberly. “You, me, and him.”

 

Watevra locked eyes with him. “Is this a family?”

 

“It can’t possibly be,” Lucy interjected. “Family, found or otherwise, treats each other well.”

 

“Yeah. What she said. This isn’t… uh… I don’t know how to to describe this.” Emmet tore his gaze away from Watevra. “But I agree with you. We can’t let his forces declare war on us. At least without knowing where Rex stands. And now that he knows who Watevra is to him, I don’t think he’ll be able to oppose us.”

 

“And if he does?” Bad Cop asked. 

 

“Then there’s no saving him,” Emmet replied firmly. “I know I’ve defended Rex a lot. This is his last chance, in my book. If he’s awake, and I talk to him, and he’s okay with Rizzo’s declaration of war, or if he moans and groans and says there’s nothing he can do, he’s done. I’ll walk off that ship, and never speak kindly of him again. That, I can promise.”

 

“Swear on your life, Emmet?” Bad Cop asked. 

 

Emmet managed to work up a smile. “I think you mean on  _ his  _ life.”

 

“Same difference,” shrugged the cop. 

 

“How are you planning on getting up to the Rexcelsior?” Lucy asked. “Without being shot at, that is.”

 

“Oh, that’s easy,” Emmet replied. A plan was beginning to fall into place. He bent down to his feet, where the ring had skittered out of Rex’s hands, and put the orange-and-blue glittering ring on his finger. He held it up to the court. “They won’t hurt me if I’m wearing this.”

 

“You don’t know that,” Bad Cop said. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Emmet, but you don’t know that. His subjects have just found out that their monarch’s fiancé is the same person as him–“

 

“Alternate version of him,” Emmet supplied. Terminology was important, especially when it came to his own guilt vis-a-vis his sense of self.

 

“–alternate version of him, whatever, and I’m not sure how they’re going to take that. Ideologically, I mean. God, I don’t know how  _ I’m  _ taking it. My point is that we don’t know what their opinion of you and Rex are right now. We shouldn’t test that by putting you in front of their guns and seeing what happens.”

 

“He’s right, Emmet,” said Benny. “This could possibly be suicide.”

 

“The smarter option be to prepare and wait, Emmet. Ye might have another chance,” Metalbeard urged. 

 

“But I might not,” Emmet replied, trying to keep his tone stalwart. “Besides, I never said I was smart.”

 

“I get what you’re doing,” Mayhem said lowly. Emmet raised an eyebrow at her in surprise. She took a step toward him. “You’re putting yourself in danger, Emmet. And you think that your one life is a pittance compared to the lives of thousands of soldiers. Am I right?”

 

Emmet nodded slowly. “Yes.”

 

“That may be true,” she continued, stepping directly in front of Emmet. “But you’re our friend, and none of us want you to hurt yourself. We all love you too much, even if we don’t know how to say it.” Around him, figures nodded– Batman, Unikitty, Benny, Metalbeard– in tandem with Mayhem’s words. “Know that’s why we all are standing in your way. But your intentions are noble.”

 

Emmet smiled at her kind words, but she seized his arm suddenly and pulled his face close to hers, so that their foreheads were touching. “I stand with my Queen,” she said fiercely. “I stand with my Prince. Go, Emmet! Go show Rex the right path! And I will herald your name alongside the rest of the universe!! Long live Emmet the Peacemaker!” She pulled back from him, and addressed the court. “Who stands with us?”

 

Lucy stepped forward. “Long live Emmet the Peacemaker!”

 

“Well said, Mayhem!” Watevra cheered. “Long live Emmet the Peacemaker!”

 

“Long live Emmet the Peacemaker!” Benny exclaimed. 

 

“Long live Emmet the Peacemaker!” One by one, everyone present joined the cheer. Emmet blushed. The title felt right to him. Not a prince, not a nobody. Right in between. 

 

He darted towards Mayhem and Lucy, and pulled them into a big hug. Watevra joined in, two arms sprouting from the sides of her heart body, and so did Batman, the Joker, Benny, Bad Cop, and Metalbeard. Emmet reveled in the warmth. He never knew he could be so loved, and at that moment he resolved to never let that love escape him. 

 

Bolstered by this new resolve, he tore himself from his friends’ comfort, and turned to the broken table. “I’ll need a way to get up there,” he announced, but it was more for himself. 

 

When he had punched the table, it had split more-or-less perfectly in half. Emmet used this to his advantage. He took apart the legs of the table, some of the chairs, and the glass from a picture frame to create a cabin, nestled between the  _ V  _ shape of the table, making a ship with wings. He raced, faster than he knew he could build, to take apart the light fixtures– he needed mechanical parts for the engine. He pulled apart an air conditioner in the corner, and with a little rearranging, built two turbines, which he attached to the underside of the wings. He heaved a chair into the cabin, behind a square wheel (that was really just a picture frame, sans picture and glass), and popped down. He removed his cape, and tied it around the chair, as a makeshift seatbelt (because, despite everything, safety still came first).

 

Emmet hesitated before he could pull the glass down, sealing him away from his friends. It dawned on him that there was a chance that he could actually die from this. Although he had known this when he had insisted on the mission, the reality of his own mortality suddenly sank down upon him now. It was worse than any anxiety that he had ever suffered, at anyone’s hands. To make matters worse, his dread wasn’t even really about how he would never see his friends again. In truth, he was daunted at the thought of non-being, about the spark of life leaving his cracked or melted body. And who knew how that would metaphysically affect Rex or Watevra? Emmet supposed this made him self-centered, but he couldn’t help it. 

 

Nevertheless, he decided to say  _ something  _ to his friends before he flew off to his death. They’d need something to put on a tombstone– if he even left any remains. But what to say? Emmet wished Rex was here. Rex always had something cool and memorable to say. But Rex not being here was the whole point of the mission. 

 

He cleared his throat, one shaky hand gripping the raised glass. “Uh… let’s see how this goes, I guess.”

 

“Emmet…” Even though there were tears in her eyes, Lucy still covered her face in disappointment.  _ Crap.  _ Okay. Do-over. He could save this. 

 

“I might die.” The entire court sucked in a collective breath at him, and that, combined with his sudden realization of his own fragility, caused his brain to spiral and his mouth to ramble. “But like, that’s cool, cause I’ll have gone out doing what I loved. Helping people. I mean, not Rex-cool obviously, cause I’ll never be him. I mean– I hope so, right! But even if I die, that still might end up being good! Rex might stop existing, which would also solve the war problem. I think. I’m not sure what’ll happen to him when I die. He said he fried his molecules and we’re not the same, but I guess you can never really tell, huh?” 

 

He began laughing awkwardly, hoping someone would stop him, and finally Lucy stepped forward. “Emmet, you’ll do great.” She took his free hand and held it between two of hers. “You’re the only person I’d trust to do this. Seriously.”

 

“And you’ll build me a cool statue if I fuck up?” he asked. 

 

Despite the tears still threatening to spill down her cheeks, Lucy actually snorted. “I’ll build you a gallery full of statues  _ when  _ you succeed. Good luck.” She pushed him, and Emmet allowed himself to fall backwards into his chair. He tied his “seatbelt” around himself, and gripped the wheel. Lucy pushed the glass into place, and stepped down and back. He couldn’t hear her through the barrier, but as she placed a hand around Mayhem’s waist, he read her lips. “ _ I love you.” _

 

He mouthed back, “ _ I love you too _ ,” as clearly as he could manage. He took a last long look at his friends, at their faces (some vengeful, some pitying, some hopeful). And then, he connected two of the wires, and the ship’s engine kicked into gear. The ramshackle ship began to hover, right there in the council room.

 

Before he could lose his nerve, Emmet jerked the wheel, and his shitty ship burst out the council room doors. 

 

He piloted his ship through the castle halls. Unfortunately, his ship was constructed out of a table, an air conditioner, and a picture frame, so it was not the easiest to control. Add that to the fact that Emmet hadn’t really been a pilot to begin with, and the end result was that his ship basically tore through Watevra’s nice castle, ripping up carpets and knocking over anything that stood in its way. Which was a shame. Emmet promised himself that, if he lived, he would make it up to Watevra. 

 

Finally, he broke through one of the windows of the castle, and maneuvered his ship into the open void of space. Up over the castle, Emmet was able to appreciate the tall spires, the glass domes, and the rainbow glitter that seemed to coat every surface. Watevra had good taste. It really was a beautiful palace, with just enough adherence to the instructions to look structurally sound, but enough of a creative touch to give it personality. 

 

In perhaps his first stroke of luck of the day, the Rexcelsior was still in sight. It floated half a mile out from Systar. It wouldn’t stay there for long, though. They were probably about to activate the hyperdrive. Emmet wouldn’t be able to chase them when they were in hyperdrive mode. His spaceship was barely functional as it was. 

 

He had to act fast. He jerked the wheel forward, sending his ship zooming towards the giant, fist-shaped seat of Rex’s power. 

 

When he got closer– perhaps about 1000 feet from the Rexcelsior, he finally attracted the attention of someone. Three hatches opened on the sides of the ship. Out of these hatches, three giant, metal-plated, spiraling ray guns emerged. Each one was easily as big as his whole ship, and they all trained on him. Which was good, in a sense. If they were planning on firing at him, they couldn’t make the jump into hyperspace. He assumed. 

 

It was now or never. He searched with his eyes until he found Airlock 14+. The very same airlock that Systar had reverse-kidnapped him through. He flew up to it, so that the security cameras could see him very clearly. The large blasters followed his movements, extending on long, tube-like wires. They’d be easy to slice through, but he resisted the temptation. Stick to the vague semblance of a plan, Emmet.

 

He leaned forward in his seat as far as he could without untying his seatbelt, and pressed the back of his hand up against the window. He hoped that the orange and blue ring was visible through the security cams.

 

There was a pregnant pause. Emmet tensed, wondering if Bad Cop had perhaps been right about Rex’s subjects turning on him; but after a moment, the three large laser guns retracted back into their hatches on the ship. Success!   
  


Emmet lowered his hand from the window and gripped the wheel. He was making himself vulnerable, he knew, which is why he had to act fast. He thrust the wheel forward, and then sped his ship towards the airlock, thinking angry and concerned (but mostly concerned) thoughts.

 

He and his ship Master Broke through the airlock, sending wreckage out into space, generating quite a lot of smoke from the ruined machinery of his ship, and setting off several alarms of varying tones.Thankfully, his cape-seatbelt kept him in place, so other than mild disorientation, he was fine. 

 

He had broken through into a familiar hall. Emmet knew, from several boring weeks of exploring, that in one direction was a bathroom, and the other direction was the den– but he had no idea where they were keeping Rex. The bedroom? The den? Some secret throne room that he hadn’t ever come across? 

 

His decision of which way to go was quickly made for him, as heavy footsteps echoed down the hall, from the direction of the bathroom. He untied his seatbelt quickly and forced himself to stand up and run towards the den.

 

He stumble-ran down the hall, probably drawing a lot of attention. Which, you know, wasn’t ideal. He liked to think that he kind of had an excuse, with the whole “just crashed a homemade spaceship into a bigger spaceship” thing, but excuses would mean nothing to people who wanted to kill him. 

 

When he entered the den, he resisted the urge to say, “we’ve got company” to himself. General Sienna sat primly on the couch, still wearing her armor. Chloe had her head on her girlfriend’s lap, the laces from her corset mostly undone, while Jigsaw sat next to her and Megamind was draped over the arm of the couch. They were all watching something on the TV, and a laugh track played as he entered the room. 

 

Sienna was quickest on the draw. She withdrew a ray gun from her side and pointed it at him. “Stop!” she commanded.

 

Chloe was so surprised, she fell off the couch. “Shit!” Sienna looked down to check on her girlfriend, and that gave Emmet the time to withdraw his sword from his scabbard. With his sword fully out in front of him, he could see that the tip was blunted. Perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

 

Still, it was better than nothing. But not  _ much  _ better. The four soldiers jumped to their feet and pointed their individual guns at him. Emmet forced himself to keep his sword upright, although every molecule in his body was screaming at him to drop it and put his hands up. “Prince Emmet of Systar, you’re under arrest!” Sienna barked.

 

“Emmet the Peacemaker, of Bricksburg,” Emmet corrected quietly.

 

“You’re under arrest, Emmet the… wait, what?” Sienna cocked her head.

 

“The Peacemaker,” he repeated. “I’m here to make peace.”

 

“Isn’t Bricksburg dead?” Chloe gestured with her blaster.

 

“Fynzruum will follow if you don’t let me see Rex,” Emmet replied. “You all know as well as I that this war is a bad idea.”

 

“This war was inevitable,” replied the general. “Fynzruum and Systar will never get along. I knew that when I defected, and I know that now. Their Queen mind-controlling our Rex was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

 

“You’re wrong. You’re so caught up in how  _ you’re  _ right and how  _ you’re  _ the victim that you don’t even consider that there’s another perspective. The other side is the same way. I care about both Rex and Queen Watevra, and nothing that anyone can do to me will make me care any less. Now let me by, so I can see Rex.”

 

The four soldiers seemed divided. Megamind was nodding, while Jigsaw’s grip on his gun got tighter. Chloe just looked confused. Sienna bit her lip, and lowered her gun a fraction. “I’m not sure–”

 

Suddenly, from the hallway that Emmet had crashed into, came another troop of soldiers, led by Victor. This must have been the source of the footsteps that he had heard from the direction of the bathroom.

 

“Alright, WHO tore up the hallway?!” Victor demanded of the room, a large, imposing gun held in front of him. Upon catching sight of Emmet, his expression darkened. “Figures. Fucking Systar trash.”

 

“Victor,  _ you’re  _ from Systar,” Chloe exclaimed. “And so am I. And so is Sienna.”

 

“Yeah, but we’re not traitors.” Chloe shot him a look, and Victor clarified, “Traitors to Fynzruum, that is.”

 

“I’m not a traitor. I’m just here to–“ That was as far as Emmet was allowed to get before Victor raised his gun. Emmet dropped his sword and rolled towards the wall. He was scarcely out of the way before a shot hit the couch that he had spent many hours on, melting half of it instantly. He hyperventilated in a crouching position.

 

“Are you fucking insane?” General Sienna screamed. “What are you thinking, firing in close quarters like that? And at our Rex’s fiancé? Rizzo said no more than stun!”

 

“I don’t give a shit about Rizzo. I want to hurt Systar. And this seems direct,” Victor spat. “Get out of my way.”

 

“Victor of Fynzruum, you’re under arrest too,” Sienna said, stone-faced. 

 

“You can’t do that!” Victor exclaimed, but Emmet’s mind was whirling.  _ Too _ . He couldn’t get caught up here, and he  _ definitely  _ couldn’t get arrested. He had a mission. 

 

Still powered by adrenaline, he stood up and ran right through Sienna and co, through the door and into the kitchen. Behind him, he could hear Sienna swear. “Chloe, Megamind, go catch the idiot. Me and Jigsaw will deal with the Victor situation.”

 

Her insult only spurred Emmet to run faster. He tore through the kitchen and around the table, into the hallway. 

 

In the hallway, he looked around wildly. Curse the ship’s non-Euclidean geography! How was he  _ ever  _ able to get around back when he lived here?

 

From down the hall, he heard a roar. A raptor roar. If Emmet’s heart hadn’t been beating as fast as it could, it would have sped up. Escaping from Chloe and Megamind was one thing– Emmet was a decently fast runner, and he suspected that the Fynzruumese soldiers weren’t trying to hurt him anyhow. The raptors were a different story. They were intelligent, sure, but Rex was their master. They weren’t going to obey Rizzo’s command to stun him. Giant jaws of sharp teeth didn’t have a “stun” mode. If they thought that Emmet’s side had hurt Rex, well… Emmet didn’t like his odds. 

 

Emmet turned around to scope out the raptors. There was only one of them, although it was too far away for Emmet to be able to tell which one it was. At the sight of him moving, the raptor roared again, and began moving quickly toward him. His head snapped back forward, and Emmet began running for his life. 

 

Unfortunately, little LEGO legs were no match for LEGO raptor legs, and so the raptor gained a lot of ground very quickly. To make matters worse, Emmet’s brain was not exactly working at 100% at the moment– which definitely impeded his motor skills. So it stung, but was no surprise when he tripped over his own feet and landed on his arm, skidding across the floor of the hallway. 

 

Disoriented, he heard the raptor step up to him. After a moment, he felt its hot breath against his stomach.  _ Probably wondering if I’ll taste good,  _ Emmet thought. As he regained his vision, the reptilian face of Cobra swam into view.

 

Upon making eye contact, Cobra’s pupils narrowed. He raised his head up to grab the sleeve of the arm that Emmet hadn’t landed on, and used that to jerk Emmet into the air. 

 

While airborne, Emmet’s last thoughts were much too undignified for an intergalactic prince. They mostly consisted of screaming, but there was also the ridiculous question of  _ ‘I wonder if he’ll swallow me whole, like in cartoons?’ _ And then, immediately following this,  _ ‘Do raptors follow cartoon logic?’  _ Amidst his frankly bizarre thought process, the logical part of Emmet’s mind braced for impact as he fell out of the air… 

 

… straight onto Cobra’s back. He sat there in shock for several moments. “What…” he began.

 

Cobra turned his head and growled, cutting him off. Emmet nodded slowly. “I guess you know that he needs me.” 

 

Cobra blinked.  _ In affirmation _ , Emmet hoped. He wrapped his arms around the raptor’s neck. “Alright,” he said. “I guess you know where he is better than I do.” Cobra let out a noise that was comparable to a horse’s whinny, and they were off. 

 

As they raced down the hallways, making sharp turns and jumping down fire poles, Emmet made two observations. The first was that everyone, no matter how heavily armed they were, leapt out of the way of a charging raptor. The second was that people were so busy leaping out of the way of said charging raptor that they took no notice of who was on its back– or if they did, Emmet and Cobra were a mere blur before they could think to draw their guns. The trip almost reminded Emmet of his first raptor ride down to breakfast with Rex, except there were a few more people trying to kill him this time. 

 

Cobra made a sharp left turn and ran toward an archway. Emmet observed that the metal around the arch was tooled to mimic Greco-Roman stonework right before they crossed under it and into a large room with a high ceiling. 

 

_ This must be the center control room _ , he thought. There were screens and big windows all around. Soldiers and raptors alike ran around, manning computers and loading weaponry like their lives depended on it. With a start, Emmet realized that he had been here before– this was where Rex had taken him, right after rescuing him from the Stairgate.  _ Jeez.  _ Felt like forever ago.

 

In the center of the room was a cot that looked like it had been dragged there hastily. On the floor next to it was a familiar crown, and although the figure in the bed was facing away from them, Emmet knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was Rex. 

 

Next to the bed stood Rizzo, her back also to them. She kept stealing nervous glances back at her sleeping monarch, but most of her energy was devoted to directing the soldiers and raptors. Emmet prepared himself as Cobra charged towards them. 

 

Suddenly, the raptor stopped, about five feet away from Rex and Rizzo. Emmet jerked to a stop, and let out a yelp. Rizzo jumped, and turned around. 

 

“What the fuck?” she exclaimed. Before Emmet could explain himself, Cobra bucked. Surprised, Emmet lost his grip on the raptor’s neck, and when Cobra bucked again, he went flying towards Rex.

 

He landed on Rex’s bed. The force that he had been thrown with was so great that he bounced and continued moving, but not before grabbing on to Rex’s vest. The two of them tumbled to the floor together– Emmet in a quickly-timed roll, Rex in a straight-up crash.

 

Rizzo drew her blaster and pointed it at Emmet. “Don’t move. I don’t want to hurt you, but if you touch him–“

 

She was cut off by Cobra crashing into her and knocking her over. Emmet watched in amazement as the blaster fell out of her hands as Cobra pinned her to the ground. Cobra’s tail swept the blaster over to Emmet, and the raptor brayed, as if to yell,  _ Now! _

 

Fumbling, Emmet picked up the blaster. He cocked it, and then pressed the barrel up against Rex’s head. The soldiers, who had begun to advance on him when they had heard Rizzo’s cry of surprise, stopped, although they kept their guns aimed at him. Cobra growled something to the raptors that were advancing, and they backed off. 

 

Emmet ignored them all. He dug the barrel into Rex’s temple. “Come on, you idiot. Wake up.”

 

Rex’s breathing didn’t change, but Emmet continued anyway. “You scared everyone, asshole. You scared Watevra. You scared Rizzo, and now there’s going to be a war. You don’t want another war, do you? You scared me the most. Wake up and apologize to me, Rex. I need an apology, Rex.”

 

Emmet grabbed Rex’s face and picked his head up. “I know you missed me. I know you couldn’t sleep without me. I’m here, Rex. You can relax now. I’m Emmet the Peacemaker. I’m not part of any kingdom. You’d like that. So  _ wake up  _ and see what I’ve become!”

 

From under Cobra, Rizzo said, “I’ve been trying too, Emmet. It’s no use.”

 

“Shut up!” Emmet yelled, without looking back. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. To Rex, 

he said, “You’re not enchanted! Fix yourself, asshole!” 

 

But doubt invaded his mind. Obviously, Watevra hadn’t cast a brainwashing spell on Rex. But what if the shock had caused him to fall into a coma? What if Rex never woke up?

 

Emmet had been banking on this being a normal sleep. That Rex had passed out because of tiredness, and that Emmet could rouse him. But if Rizzo had tried and failed to do just that… 

 

The soldiers, sensing his turmoil, took a step forward. At this, Emmet clutched the gun barrel harder. His hands were slick with sweat and clammy. 

 

He moved his free hand behind Rex’s head, and lowered his own head so that their foreheads were pressed together. “ _ Please don’t leave me like this,”  _ he whispered, in a last-ditch attempt. 

 

But Rex didn’t reply. Emmet choked back a sob, and gently turned his head, so that Rex’s lips brushed up against his cheek. A moribund kiss on the cheek. Emmet was sure that the artists of the galaxy would paint this moment years into the future.

 

As tears leapt from his eyes, Emmet pointed the gun so that it touched both his head and Rex’s. There was no other way around it. Both armies had to know the severity of the situation. 

 

“Video call Systar,” Emmet barked as best he could, at a Duplo soldier. The Duplo seemed hesitant to obey, but a tightening of Emmet’s grip on the gun was all that was needed to convince him. 

 

Presently, a Portable Entertainment Center was brought in front of him, and Systar was dialed. After a couple of rings, the screen flashed on. 

 

Watevra and her court were still standing in the council room. A folding table had been brought to replace the one that Emmet had taken apart. 

 

The court on the other side of the device clustered around the screen, blinking and taking in the complex scene that had suddenly been presented to them. 

 

Emmet cleared his throat. “I called to say goodbye.”

 

A cry of pure anguish erupted from Lucy. Watevra was slightly more articulate. “Emmet, no!”

 

“Everything I’ve created has hurt people. The tools that I tried to help people with twisted around and made something terrible. I’ve twisted into something unrecognizable. I wasn’t meant to change– but I did, and it’s helped nobody. The universe would be better off without any Emmets.”

 

His hand shook, and he felt like the gun might slip out of his hand. Nevertheless, he made eye contact– first with Cobra, then Watevra, then Rizzo, then Lucy. And then he waited. 

 

He felt Rex’s lips mouth, “ _ Emmet?”  _ up against his cheek. Emmet let out a wordless, victorious cry, and dropped the gun onto the floor, making everyone else jump. 

 

He was sure he must look like an insane person as he cradled Rex’s head. “Rex?” he practically pled.

 

After a minute, Rex’s eyes fluttered, and then cracked open. “Emmet?” Rex repeated hoarsely.

 

At their ruler’s word, his army erupted into cheers. Rex winced at the noise, and reached out for Emmet’s hand. Their fingers interlocked, and Emmet said, “I’m here. You’re safe.”

 

“Safe?” Rex snorted weakly. “You just had a gun to our heads.”

 

“Touché,” Emmet smiled. “I  _ was  _ bluffing, though.”

 

“That can’t be the truth.”

 

“Well, you’ll never know if it is or not, huh?” Emmet removed his hand from Rex’s face. “You wanna sit up?”

 

“Yeah,” Rex said, and so Emmet helped him lean himself up against the cot. Rex stared up at the screen, at Watevra, crownless. 

 

The two took each other in. Finally, Watevra said, “I’m glad you’re not dead.”

 

“I’m sorry for scaring you.” Rex turned to address his whole army. “All of you.” When he finally turned to Rizzo, he groaned and whistled. Cobra picked himself off of Rizzo, and came trotting over to rub his head up against Rex and Emmet. 

 

Rizzo ran over to them the second she was free and wrapped Rex up in a hug. Emmet didn’t let go of Rex’s hand, but he let the two have their moment. He could hear Rizzo’s quiet sigh-sobs into Rex’s shoulder. 

 

At last, she let go of him. Watevra, up on the screen, cleared her throat. “Are we still at war?”

 

Rex turned to Rizzo. “Rizzo, chart a course for Systar. We’re going back.”

 

Everyone, but particularly Emmet, held their breath. Rex seemed to be doing a dramatic pause, the asshole. 

 

Finally, he gave a cocky smirk, and said, “We’re making peace.” 

 

Cheers erupted from both sides. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm on tumblr and twitter at @halobolts. love getting all your comments and feedback, particularly on a long chapter like this! someone did a little analysis of the metaphors of a moment last chapter and it made me so happy!


	14. when you're living out a dream (epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex and Emmet discuss the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey. it's been a while. i'm not sure anyone still cares about this story, but it's important to me that i finish it. thank you for reading!

“So, how stressed are you, on a scale from one to ten?” Emmet asked. 

 

“Eleven,” Rex answered. “Times two.”

 

“Twenty-two?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They were standing out on the balcony of Emmet’s private quarters, watching the night sky. Rex’s cape and crown were hanging over a patio chair. Emmet had mercifully been reunited with his safety vest, and he tried not to wear the crown any more than he had to. It made him feel like he was chained to a pedestal.

 

It was quiet between them, but for once, Emmet didn’t feel like he had to keep the conversation going. He drummed his fingers on the balcony railing and waited. 

 

Rex sneezed, breaking the silence.

 

“Bless you,” Emmet said. 

 

“Thanks.” Rex chuckled awkwardly. “It’s all the glitter.” He  _ was  _ covered in it, sparkling in the moonlight almost as much as a nonthreatening teen vampire. “It’s like… craft herpes, you know? You can’t ever get rid of it.”

 

“Get used to it.” Emmet’s tone must have been sharper than he had intended, because Rex turned back to look at him. “With the alliance. You’re gonna be getting a lot more glittery if you’re patching things up with Watevra.”

 

“Yeah, true,” Rex said.

 

“I think it’ll be good for you.”

 

“Yeah,” Rex repeated. “There’s a lot to patch up.” He turned his head back to gaze out into the stars. 

 

“Uh-uh. No brooding. You’re gonna talk to me.” Emmet took Rex’s face and rotated it back. “First question: do you accept constructive criticism?”

 

“Huh?” Rex took a step back in surprise. 

 

“Like, on your general life situation?”

 

“Uh, yeah, I guess?”

 

“Okay. Then, second question, what the fuck?” Emmet took his hand off of Rex’s cheek and slapped the balcony for emphasis.

 

“You’re really leaning into the swearing thing, huh?” Rex observed. 

 

“Making up for lost time. Third question, what the fuck was your endgame with the betrothal thing?”

 

“Marriage?” Rex said hesitantly. 

 

Emmet glared at him. “You  _ know  _ that’s not what I mean.”

 

Rex sighed. “I wasn’t thinking. Honest. I freaked out and did whatever I had to to make sure you were safe. I didn’t know whether Watevra would hurt you or not.”

 

“She wouldn’t.”

 

“Yeah, but I didn’t  _ know.  _ I didn’t know the truth about her. How could I trust her?”

 

Emmet dipped his head in acknowledgment, not because he thought it was right, but because he understood. “Fourth question. How is… your side reacting?”

 

“My  _ kingdom _ ,” Rex corrected. “I guess there aren’t any sides any more. And… you mean to the alliance, or the reveal about who I am?”

 

“Both,” Emmet replied. 

 

“There was a little bit of convincing I needed to do about the alliance. Since my kingdom was founded because they didn’t want Systarian interference, that’s natural. But I think most understand that we’re staying independent, and this is purely to prevent warfare in the near future.”

 

“And the reveal?” Emmet asked.

 

Rex bit his lip. “They’re reacting better than expected.”

 

“Well, I expected full-on chaos, so that means nothing to me,” Emmet said, faux-breezily. He ached to twist the ring on his finger, but was afraid that would give away too much of how he was feeling. 

 

Rex’s eyes darted away. “Yeah. Me too.” His eyes darted back just as quickly, as if he had to remind himself to keep eye contact. “There aren’t going to be riots or anything, but it’s a controversial topic. People are pretty torn on whether I’ve violated the laws of nature, whether it’s totally cool, or whether violations of nature are characteristic for my reign.”

 

“So I guess I should stay out of the cluster, then,” Emmet said. 

 

“Maybe.” The corner of Rex’s mouth twitched. Emmet got the sense that Rex was forcing back a bitter smile, so as not to scare him. “My advice is to just lay low for a while. My citizens will get acclimated. Especially once they meet you, after everything’s calm again.”

 

“It’s gonna be pretty hard to get married if I can’t enter Fynzruum.”

 

Rex only laughed quietly and turned to gaze out into the sky again. Emmet didn’t know how to interpret this, so he opted to study Rex’s stature. His back was bent as he looked out into the stars– a far cry from the straight, confident posture he had had when they first met. Emmet wondered how much weight Rex had taken on for him. 

 

“What are you thinking about?” Emmet asked. 

 

Rex laughed and exhaled. “Uh, nothing in particular, I guess.”

 

“ _ Rex.” _

 

“Fine, okay. I was thinking about how I’ve built my identity around being aloof, invulnerable, and an enemy to Systar. But now, with you, my recent fainting spell, and the alliance, who am I? What defines me?”

 

“Well,” Emmet said slowly. “What do you think defines you?”

 

“I have a funny feeling that I’m defined by my worst actions.” Rex didn’t specify, but they both knew which  _ worst actions  _ he was referring to. 

 

“Bad Cop once told me that you deserve a chance to repent too. But it’s not enough to just say you’ve changed. You have to make the decision to struggle with yourself, to accept that you’re never going to be as good as you want to be. Only then can you feel better about yourself in any lasting way. I made that choice, but what you do is up to you.”

 

Rex’s eyes drifted over. “You’ve changed, Emmet.”

 

“Sorry, I didn’t know I had to stay the same,” Emmet snapped. 

 

This shut Rex up. They stated quiet until Emmet added, “So have you, you know.”

 

“And yet, so far to go,” Rex quipped. 

 

“See, the old Rex would never say that. He would have pled for me to stay, so that he wouldn’t have to change.”

 

This time, Rex let his bitter smile show. “And the old Emmet would have gone along with what I wanted.”

 

The words stung a bit, but Emmet couldn’t deny their truth. “Maybe so.”

 

“ _ Emmet the Peacemaker _ ,” Rex mused. “But you’re not passive at all. You prioritized the future when it would have been so much easier to hate me. You forced  _ yourself  _ to make peace. That’s the truth of the nickname, isn’t it?”

 

Emmet stared down at his hands. “Bitterness seems easy now. You’re right, I have changed– and I don’t like it. It used to be so easy to be happy, but now emotion is so foreign that it’s terrifying when I actually experience it.” He stopped, and sighed. “Sorry. This is getting to an edgy place.”

 

“Eh, finish the thought anyway,” Rex shrugged. “Not like I can judge. I’m the king of edge.”

 

“I really just feel like there’s weight on top of me. I’m being crushed, Rex.” He clenched his fists and looked up and out into the stars. “But I guess I have to keep striving for optimism, because the alternative is giving up. Cynicism is giving up.”

 

“I have to keep that in mind, too,” Rex said. “But is it really healthy to force optimism? Why can’t we accept that circumstances are kind of shitty?”

 

“I didn’t say that we had to deny reality,” Emmet responded irritably. “But if we want to make a change, we can’t say that everything will  _ always  _ be shitty. Otherwise, we’ll just get stuck in the past. We need to have faith in ourselves, in each other, and in the future.”

 

“Good point. I guess I have a lot to do.”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, you do.”

 

There was a silence. Emmet twisted at the ring on his finger, and Rex drummed his fingers against the railing of the balcony. Steeling his nerves, Emmet said, “I can’t marry you, Rex.”

 

Rex’s fingers stilled. “Yeah,” he replied. “I figured as much.”

 

“Oh.” Emmet had prepared himself for an argument. “How’d’jya figure?”

 

Rex moved his shoulders up and and then down. “I did a lot of shit. To you, but also in general. It’s noble that everyone’s giving me a second chance, but you went through a lot. You don’t have to forgive me, and you certainly don’t have to be tied to me.”

 

“Thanks.” Emmet said it quietly, but Rex’s eyebrows still rose. 

 

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m making the choice to be decent. I love you, Emmet, but I need time to prove to myself that I’m worthy of you.”

 

“How much do you mean that, and how much are you repeating my words?” Emmet asked. 

 

“I’m not repeating your words!” Rex hesitated. “Okay, maybe a little. But I’m fully prepared to never be worthy.”

 

“Good. You might not see me for a long time,” said Emmet. 

 

“Where are you headed?” Rex leaned on the balcony. 

 

“Back home. Back to Apocalysburg,” Emmet answered. “Now that the threats are gone, we can rebuild. I can feel safe again.”

 

“You’re so driven,” Rex said. 

 

“No rest for the wicked,” Emmet smiled wanly.

“When are you leaving?” Rex asked. 

 

“Now, I think,” Emmet said. “No sense putting it off.” He shrugged. “I already told Lucy and Watevra that I was going.”

 

Rex reached into his pocket, and pulled out a jetpack. Emmet chose not to think about the physics of that. “Here. I’ll trade you this for the ring.” He laughed. “An engagement-breaking present.”

 

Emmet slung it onto his back. “We’re breaking the engagement?”

 

Rex looked surprised. “I thought–“

 

“I don’t know.” Emmet twisted his ring. “This ring has done me more good than harm. Is it okay if I–“

 

“Of course,” Rex cut him off. “Of course.” He kept his hands to himself. “Keep it. Think of me.”

 

Emmet smiled and relaxed. He swung his leg over the railing, and with Rex’s help, climbed mover to hang off the balcony. He switched the jetpack on.

 

He hovered there for a moment. “Goodbye,” he said. 

 

“Goodbye,” Rex echoed. “For a long time.”

 

“Years, maybe,” Emmet replied. 

 

“Yeah,” Rex said. 

 

“Good luck with the alliance.”

 

“Good luck with the rebuilding.”

 

“Thanks,” Emmet said, and then they just stared at each other. He was suddenly overcome with a profound sense of… nostalgia? Melancholy?  _ He was never going to know Rex in this context again. _

 

But that was a good thing, he reminded himself. So much hurt had been doled out that it was better to wipe the slate clean. And if he never saw Rex ever again? Well, he would carry on.

 

Feeling bold, he reached out and pressed his lips to Rex’s. Rex’s lips parted, allowing Emmet, for the first time, to take control. 

 

They reveled in their sensual goodbye, and then Emmet pulled back. He couldn’t will himself to say anything more, so he simply waved, turned himself around, and jammed down on the accelerator of his jetpack. 

 

As he zoomed towards home, alone but never lonely again, every star and asteroid in the sky was special. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment, a kudo, if you like it. i'm @halobolts on tumblr and twitter. the art that i've gotten for this fic has always been amazing, and i treasure each piece. 
> 
> i've gotta say, i'm on the fence about a second epilogue, as was originally planned. i'm not sure whether it'd be better to leave the fates of the characters ambiguous, as what i had planned seems like it might oppose what happens in this chapter. i'll mull it over.

**Author's Note:**

> please join me. write more rex/emmet. p l e a s e
> 
> also lmk if you like this because i want to continue this fic but i also want to know whether anyone is interested in that


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